Gwyn
Four years ago I promised him I would be standing beside him on his happiest day. Never thinking I wouldn't be the one standing beside him. Now I am walking up the steps to the church. Ready to watch him marry someone else. A promise is a promise.
My heart is beating fast, raging against my chest about how wrong this is. I look at Luke, begging he would see me, really see me and that by some miracle this would stop, that he would realize that I have been here, wishing he would look at me the way he is looking at his bride to be, but that is selfish and just as wrong as me standing here, flowers in my hands in a beautiful dress, probably the most beautiful dress that I have ever worn, while I watch him cry tears of joy as he watches his bride walk down the aisle.
I force my smile to stay in place while my heart shatters. Try to force my breathing to stay even while my lungs try to close up. Look at me. Just look at me. I want to beg him, but he doesn’t turn his eyes away from the woman of his dreams, the woman that isn’t me.
My dress feels like a snake around my body, squeezing until I can’t breathe. It doesn’t matter how much I beg for this to not happen, for him to not be standing right next to me, telling another woman how he will be there for her in sickness and in health. Nothing will stop this nightmare from happening, no matter how hard I pinch my arm, believe me I have tried, the blue and purple marks are proof of just how hard I have tried.
“You may kiss the bride.” The priest announces and my world falls apart while his stars align. I stand there and watch as he pulls her into his arms, arms that had been wrapped around me through my darkest times, that held me when we danced on our prom night, that had been open wide when I came home from my three years at Oxford university, only for me to realize that those arms will never be there for me again, because they will now and forever more be wrapped around the beautiful Abigale, the women he had found while I wasn’t here to fill that void.
As soon as everyone leaves the church to wait for the happy couple to sign the documents, I leave, not waiting for them to walk out of the church hand in hand. I have done my duty, I was here like I had promised, I had stood by his side and I had pretended to be happy for him the way that was expected of me, but I need to leave now before everyone realizes that I am nothing but a fraud.
“Leaving so soon?” I hate that voice. I have hated that voice since the day I first heard it. It is not that he has a bad voice, on the contrary, his voice could get most women to drop their pants and spread their legs after two words and that is about the maximum most women get out of him from what I have heard, well aside from me. I seem to get all his damn words and all of them are meant to strike me down.
I try to force my tears back, refusing to let him see me cry on a day that should be celebrated. Once I think I have my face in a mask of utter joy, I turn to face Gareth Martins, the thorn in my side that just doesn’t seem to go away, also known as Luke’s best friend. “I got a call from my mom, she needs me.” I tell him, knowing that bringing up my mom usually gets me out of places I don’t want to be. My mother has stage four brain cancer and even though we have a nurse on the clock day and night, my mother always pushes on my button whenever she needs help. I don’t mind, seeing as I have so little time with her left, I always come running when she calls.
“Aren’t you getting tired of using that excuse?” The f*****g bastard has the audacity to f*****g smirk at me. You know, the first time I saw him, my jaw nearly dropped to the floor and I am certain I had drool running down my chin, but then the fucker opened his mouth and any sudden attraction I felt towards him was gone. He is still gorgeous, sculpted like a Greek god with his dark brown hair and light blue eyes, sharp jaw and straight nose. The small scar over his eyebrows should take away from some of his beauty, but instead it just adds to it. That little flaw mixed with the permanent judgement in his eyes and his constant frown makes him untouchable and because of that, so much more desirable. Don’t even get me started on his body. Tall and muscular, yet not over the top, crush you in a single hug kind of muscular. Against my five foot two, he is a f*****g giant with his seven foot three.
“Excuse me?” Like I said, this man has far too many words for me and I would love for him to choke on it.
“You heard me loud and clear, sweet heart.” He says, looking bored with this conversation, one that he started.
“You know what, I really don’t have the time or the energy for you or your stupid games. Just do me a favour and go f**k yourself.” I tell him, turning on my heel, ready to get the f**k out of here, but I miss the step and my heart sinks faster than my body. I suck in a breath, trying to turn my body in hopes that I can protect my head from hitting the concrete, but I never touch the ground. Warm hands wrap around my elbow and with a hard tuck, I smash into a hard chest. His scent surrounds me and for a moment, I forget that he is a complete jackass, because holy hell he smells so good.
“When you try to make a dramatic exit, watch where the hell you are walking. Otherwise, you are bound to make a fool out of yourself.” His harsh words pull me back to reality and I quickly push away from him, but he pulls me back in. “For f**k sakes, the stairs are still right behind you. Is your head really so messed up about a man that never f*****g deserved you that you can’t even remember that you were about to fall off the damn stairs that are still very much behind you, two seconds ago?”
“Who the hell do you think you are?” I ask him, trying to look up at him, but I have to nearly break my neck to look up at him while he is this close to me.
“I am the guy that is trying to stop you from making a fool out of yourself. Stop running away and face the fact that he will never love you as anything more than a friend. You don’t think that he doesn’t know that you have feelings for him? That he doesn’t know that you have been pinning after him for most of your damn life? He finds comfort in you, but nothing else. You will always be his geek friend that fed his comic book addiction and laughed at his stupid jokes, The one that was there when he needed to feel needed. That is all you will ever be to him.” f**k, that hurts. I thought I was hiding my feelings pretty damn well, but if Gareth knows how I feel, then so does Luke, but why didn’t he ever say anything about it?
“Get the f**k off me.” I say through clenched teeth.
“Go cry and then wipe your tears off, Gwyneth. Just don’t cry too much, because the last thing you want to look like is a wreck. When you are done, come find me and we will show him what he lost.” His words shock the hell out of me and for a moment I don’t move. Gareth steps back, straightens his tux and then walks down the stairs to the waiting crowd like nothing happened.
Thanks to my shock, all I can do is follow him, my need to cry is long gone as I wait with everyone else for the bride and groom to step out of the church.