24
2017 Words
Silver woke up late, and woke up nervous. Again. He woke up with swollen gums and a wolf's hunger, and without realizing it, he began to snort the air, thinking breakfast. He would like to have some meat... Raw meat... eewww what the heck was wrong with him?
He did not like raw meat; he liked it cooked, just like the fire would embrace the meat and producing that smell of... His body temperature was high, he felt hot and uncomfortable in his skin. He started to salivate and trying to swallow and in the back of his mind, blood came as a vision. He needed blood.
The smell was enhanced, he felt the blood dripping and his tongue felt heavy and again he had to swallow. It felt like some steak was on it's way to him, leaving the smell all around it, reaching him and forcing him to pay attention to the stairs. And indeed, there were footsteps he could hear. Someone was bringing him food. In blood?? What was wrong with them?
What the hell is going on with him? Err... He still did not like the situation he was in right now. He must have had a discussion with his demon. He could not just come up front his body like that, like he owned the place. Because he was not!!! That was his body and only in his control and that saruman of his should learn it!! He had so many things to do and yet he was locking himself in here, because he could not trust himself right now!
He had to get dressed, but he found it difficult to get moving. Why would he do it if he was to stay in here and nobody would see him, anyway... So no need to put clothes on then... Footsteps coming... the smell of the blood became insupportable. His jaws were already trembling... he had to swallow again. Unbelievable!!! So little control he had right now, he could not even think straight!! Damn it!
He did not want to be a shadow at this point.
-Nonsense!! A well known voice filled the darkness. She did not need any light as she was not afraid of this place. He should have known.
-Mom... please...
He felt too weak to rise to his feet.
-Get up! her voice sounded threatening and merciless.
-I can't! His energy level was so low...
-Move if you want to feed!
-Mom...
-Do you feel it?? Silver heard her snorting. Of course, you do, you are a hunter! You can feel it. Grab it!
-Mom... No! I don't want...
-Do you think this is about what you want?? Of course not!
-I don't want this demon anymore!!
-Well, tough luck because you will work with him for your entire life now!! And the next time, if you decide to do a stupid thing you will not dare!! That is a direct order from the king. I mean it!
-Mom...
He was too tired to even argue with her. The training she had him going through last night was exhausting. He couldn't even move, he could barely breathe and had already slept for 17 hours straight. Not that he knew. Everything was happening like in a dream for a week already and the things he remembered in the fog were not very sure what had happened or when it had happened.
What he knew for sure was that his mother helped him a lot to control this anger and he had almost succeeded, but he was exhausted. He simply couldn't do it anymore. He had never imagined what his mother could go through, he could never understand how she could be so calm and at the same time a typhoon inside, and now, when he tried it and felt everything, she disarmed him and could not help but admire her.
But he couldn't be as strong as she was.
-Yes, my Prince, you are. You just have to realize that. That's all.
-I don't know, mom...
-Get your food, then we talk.
He could not, but his saruman forced him.
-Use it!!!! Now!! his mother shouted and Silver felt his saruman wanting to reach the food and instinctively he used his force of movement to get up and move towards her, who had handed him the plate with large pieces of steak in his blood that were already leaving his mouth watering. He swallowed them almost unchewed and instantly felt sick.
-Keep the food in you, my Prince. The voice of his mother was like a bandage on his soul.
-But... It's blood... he whined like a child.
-And your demon needs exactly that or the blood of other innocents. What do you choose?
-Aww...that? is not that bad...
-I know, she smiled at him. He could see her or better said imagine her smile in the darkness. He started thinking about it. He could feel her in the darkness and he did not even need to see her.
-That is because of your Scout power. When you take care of your saruman, he will be paying attention to your surroundings in order to keep you both safe. Please him and he will help you in return. Use it because he is also using you to live.
-But... Silver set down to the edge of the big stone that was serving him as a bed. Mom, he looked at her as she faced him. Did you ever want to make it go away? To lose your demon and stop being a shadow?
-Yes. But it does not work like that.
-Please tell me about it?
His mother sighed and sat beside him.
-There was a time I shut down on my saruman. I did not want to feel her hear her, know about her. I did not allow her to live. Get all my anger out of control. I did not have anyone to help me with that at that time so I thought, if I let her fly, I could liberate myself of all those feelings I could not deal with. But it did not work like that. I was letting her fly free, and all I felt I wanted was to just jump into the canyon with her. I knew she would not let me die, so I did not, but I was trying to at least feel that flight of hers as if it was me flying in that abyss. Did not work either.
-I don't want to feel this anymore!
-I know, My prince. But it will pass and is making you stronger already. You have us here, with you, you are not alone.
-I know. It helps.
-I sure hope so. All you need to do is have this for dinner and meditate. We should go hunting in the morning, you and me, what do you think?
-I don't know, I feel like I need to just kill everybody. They are so loud, in everything they do.It never bothered me before.
-It did not, because your saruman is enhancing your senses right now. This is how he is helping you. You become stronger.
-But this strength is hurting in a way I can not...
-If you say you can not, then you won't. But if you say you can, then you will.
-Mom!! I am not a child, you can not ...
-But I can... and you can not tell me what I can not do!!! Because I can!!
-Mom...
-You should not let others tell you what you can and can not do!
-I don't...
-Then don't even accept it from you either!
Silver got dumbfolded. She was right. That was the way she raised him, All of them actually. Free. All he had to do was free himself too. From himself. How deep that sounded!
-I know...
-Awww... so you start using your brain now. Good. So this is how you contain it.
-Is it now?
-Haha, of course. Look at you. My prince has grown up.
His mother cupped his face in her hands, smiling, and she placed a kiss on his forehead. She was like his best friend. Always there for him when he did a good thing, and always there for him when he did a mistake. He was blaming his demon for his lack of control but he never thought he can use his powers and this was the way to control it. His mother was awesome! The best of his teachers ever.
-I did not do my work these past weeks.
-Not to worry, your work is waiting for you. Nobody will do it in your place anyway, she laughed at him. He could not help but smile too.
-You know what I don't understand?
-What?
-This... awakening? Why does it hurt? Should not be like, I don't know, a celebration or something?
-It is. In a way. But the saruman's power is far more than our body can handle, and we need time to adjust to all this power coming from them. And you, most of all.
-Why?
-Because you are the child from the mating ritual connection, and that is why it is so difficult for you to cope and adjust to your saruman. He is very strong, my prince. And so are you, you will see.
-You have a lot of faith in me, mother. Did you ever think I would not live up to your expectations?
-No. That is your job to do. From my part, you are everything I wanted. And your father thinks the same way. I know that.
-I think I know it too. But now, I seem to fail at everything and...
-It is only the loss of control that scares you, my prince. Not to worry. It is not the control you need, but the adjustment. When you will realize that the greatest power is to adapt to everything that comes your way, then you will contain him. You will see.
-Do you think I will depend on that blood from now on, mom?
-In a way, you will. But you can take that from the hunting, my prince. That is alright to take, you know that.
-Don't you miss it? The blood hunger?
-Haha... I try to refrain to have such thoughts, my prince. It is not good for us. Besides, I can also feed on the shadows... and that helps me too.
-When did you discover that power?
-I am not sure. I always had it and used it I think.
-How does it feel like?
-Well... I can feel a flow of energy in every being and when I am angry, it calms me if I extract a little from each and that energy attracts it in my direction just by visualizing it. And you can feel it too when you are angry. I think that is why your saruman feels that hunger, after all the training we had. But we need to test it.
-How can we test that, mother?
-Only when I am with you. If you really feel it the way I think you feel it, you can learn to harvest it from any shadow. But you need to learn how to make it safe, try on animals first. Do not try it on any shadow unless you want them dead. And I mean that.
-Is that how you did it when you came into the capital? Is that what happened?
-Yes. That was my first kill. And it was not nice. Felt terrible and now I know better. Remember that the shadows will not serve under a king that will feed on them. They will serve under a king that will protect them and their families. Fear is not going to keep them loyal, but respect and trust will. You do well to remember that, my prince. Because you need your men to stay loyal to you, not another. And the compromises you will need to make, you have to think about them well. Because you will rip what you will saw!
- Writer
