Hold Me, My Emperor

Chapter One

CHAPTER 1

«Tatiana's PoV»

Life is unfair.

What did I possibly do to receive this kind of life? Am I a bad person? Sometimes I would also ask myself if I deserve this kind of treatment.

I was abandoned at the front door of this Orphanage. It was a rainy night and the Nuns said they cannot mention anything about my parents. Leaving a child like that without a trace makes me feel like I am born to be nothing. Maybe my parents thought I was a mistake. Or maybe they didn't love me one bit. I don't think I'll ever fathom their reason for giving up a child to an orphanage. But still. the hope refused to leave my chest. Maybe they will come back someday and tell me that abandoning me was a mistake? That they will take me back? Will I have the chance to have a family?

My name is Anne. I'm eighteen years old now. And all my life, I've been stuck here at St. Jea Orphanage. I don't know who my parents are. Ever since I was just little, I've had had a fragile body. I was told I have this called disease leukemia, it was a type of cancer that affects my immune system. And since the orphanage's funds cannot cover my medications, my body will soon break because of infections.

I could not protest about the situation, as there are also other children here who need medication but cannot afford to. After all, if I die here, there will be less mouths to feed.

This is my destiny. I will end here. I will die young even though I don't want to. At night, I still pray that I will be given the chance to reset. I want to relive my life better than this, even though that dream might be too much for someone like me to hope for.

"Anne. You should sleep." I heard the door creaking when one of the caretakers talked to me. They were taking their night inspection to check the children. Currently, there are twenty others in this room. Since leukemia is not contagious, they allowed me to stay with the others.

"I'm sorry, Beth. I can't sleep and my stomach hurts." I told her. Beth was one of my caretakers that I love. She's gentle and very kind to me.

She went closer to me and gently tucked me in. "Take a rest."

I was holding a book so she put it aside and looked a it for a while. "You like to read, huh?" She warmly said to me.

"Yes. Books are my best escape." I told her and grinned. She smiled at me and patted my head.

"You're lucky you can read. I heard that you are good with mathematics and literature too. Other children are having a hard time reading books, but you're doing great in all of them. Such a bright child." She proudly said and caressed my face.

This is what I will miss the most. These soothing words of Beth and the other caretakers, they always bring hope to all of us. Even to me that's hopeless.

"Beth. If I die, don't be sad." I told her and she started tearing up.

"I'm sorry. I want to save you, but I can't do anything." She said and hugged me. My shoulder started to feel warm as her tears flowed down on them. My insides are starting hurting again. Because of the infections inside my body, I became thin and had to spend my days in bed. I don't want this anymore. And honestly, I don't think anyone would like this kind of life.

"That's why you shouldn't cry, because none of these are your fault."

It was clear to me. I'm reaching my limit. My body cannot live long enough and is starting to fail. I know that Beth is aware of it too but still, she wants to give me hope.

As I close my eyes, I silently prayed. I asked for another chance, a second life that I can enjoy. Just like what I read in books, I want to travel and eat delicious food. Have a family and maybe... fall in love. These trivial things.. will it be possible?

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(darkness)

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.

I imagine myself riding a train and when I open my eyes. I'm here.

"Wahh" I cannot speak? Instead of words I started mumbling inaudible sounds and cries. I reached for my hand and when I looked at it, it was.. tiny.

What happened to me?

What happened to my body?

Did I.. Shrink?

It was that moment I saw a warm face smiling at me. She looked like an angel, her hair was the color of gold and her eyes were deep green. She has a curly gold like stand that made my heart melt the first time I saw it. Who is she?

"Oh my.. my precious child. Why are you crying? Don't worry Momma is here for you." She said that while lifting me up on her gentle arms.

I was surprised to hear those words. Moma? What in the world is this? Is she saying that she is my Mother? I have never used that word before. That is because I’ve never had one. Somehow, this feels a little nice.

I look around to see such a vintage looking room with a big window and furnished furniture. The air is very refreshing as it brushes through my small cheeks.

Am I dreaming? Where am I? Everything feels extremely weird right now. I think my body is trying to adjust. What happened to me?

I stopped crying when this lady held me up and looked me in the eye with the most calming words I ever have in my life, "Moma will always be here to keep you safe because Moma loves Tia." She said and smiled. I couldn't stop it but also smile back at her.

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