Loving the Ruthless Mafia Man

Prologue I couldn’t remember a time when I hadn’t loved Aiden Kavanagh. He was the love of my life, undeniable and all-consuming. I would have burned the world for him. I would have torn apart any man that would have dared to harm him. He was my everything. He was the light at the end of the haunted tunnel. He was my salvation, my knight in shining armour. Until he broke my heart, shattering my reality, and left me gasping in the wreckage of my fall. ---- 3 years ago The hotel banquet hall had been transformed into a fairytale venue. There was champagne following and guests mingling in every corner. It seemed that the entirety of the Boston Irish mob was gathered here tonight with their family to celebrate my birthday. It was the birthday I had thought would change everything. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Aunt Charlotte said, pulling me into a hug. “You look beautiful.” I smiled at my aunt. “Thank you.” Aunt Charlotte had helped me choose the midnight black dress. It was sequined from top to bottom; it shimmered with every movement I made. It was fitted—no, sculpted—to my body, hugging every curve as if it had been made just for me. Thin straps rested lightly on my shoulders, delicate and almost fragile, as though they could slip free at any moment. They left my collarbones bare, my skin luminous against the dark fabric. The neckline dipped just enough to be daring, but it was the back that made me hold my breath every time I caught sight of myself in the mirror. It plunged low, deeper than I’d ever dared to wear before, baring the length of my spine and stopping just above the small of my back. For a second, I wondered if he’d notice—if Aiden would look at me and finally see me. The hem skimmed the floor as I walked, pooling behind me in a subtle train that whispered with every step. I felt powerful in it. Beautiful. Like I belonged in a room where men like Aiden Kavanagh ruled and destroyed with a glance. But more than that, I felt like maybe—for once—I was something more than the broken girl he’d saved. Maybe tonight, I could be a woman he couldn’t ignore. “You look gorgeous, darlin.” Uncle Seamus said in his subtle Irish accent as he hugged me as well. “Thank you, Uncle Seamus. You both went above and beyond for this party.” “This is nothing honey, you know that. You deserve the world.” My aunt said squeezing my hand. “I wish I could give you much more.” I felt my eyes well up. “You have done more than I could have imagined. I could never repay you and Uncle Seamus for everything you’ve done for me. You raised me as your own.” Uncle Seamus shook his head. “Sweet Cordelia, you were thrusted into this world, and you’ve thrived despite it. You are the perfect daughter.” “Sometimes I think she’s your favourite daughter.” Moira said from behind me. “That is true.” Uncle Seamus told his daughter with a chuckle. “At least I know I’m his favourite son.” Ronin chuckled as he walked over. “I don’t remember saying those words. Regardless, Aiden is my favourite.” Uncle Seamus answers. “Aiden isn’t even your son!” Ronin chokes out. Uncle Seamus just smirks in response and pats Ronin’s shoulder. I couldn’t help but smile at the four of them. They were more than I could have hoped for in this life. They were the family that chose me. “Speaking of Aiden, have you seen him?” Moira asked, while pulling me away from everyone. I shook my head in response, and I felt my heart contract, the pain overwhelming. Aiden Kavanagh, the newly appointed head of the Irish Mob in Boston. The man that was gentle as he was ruthless… or so I thought. Though I had always imagined the gentle side was reserved just for me, until last night. I was to blame for my naivety. I had fallen in love with a man who had never felt the same for me. I had been stupid and ignorant and now I would pay the price of falling for him. I just wished the reality check had come in another form. But no matter how it was delivered, what happened two days ago was always going to break me. ---- (Two Days Ago) I walked up the front steps of Aiden Kavanagh’s house like I had a hundred times before. The guards outside barely glanced at me before nodding and stepping aside. They didn’t question my presence. They never did. For as long as I could remember, I belonged here. At least, I thought I did. But today was different. I wasn’t just here to see him. I was here to tell him. To finally say the words I’d carried for years, too afraid they might break us… or maybe make us something more. My heart was hammering in my chest as I stepped through the door. I followed the path through the house, passing rooms I knew as well as my own. My palms were damp, my fingers nervously twisting the small chain bracelet on my wrist. I was twenty-one today. Finally. No longer the girl he had to protect. And I was going to tell him I loved him. I found him in the back of the house, standing by his desk with his phone pressed to his ear. Sunlight streamed through the tall windows behind him, catching on the ink that curled around his forearms. He looked so calm. So, in control. The kind of power he wore effortlessly, the kind that made everyone in Boston either respect him or fear him. But when his eyes landed on me, something softened. Without hesitation, he ended his call and set his phone down. He always made time for me. The knot in my chest loosened just a little as I stepped closer, my lips curving into a smile I couldn’t hold back. “Aiden,” I said, breathless, “it’s my birthday today.” “I know,” he said. His voice was smooth, quiet, and for a second, I thought I saw a hint of something warm in his emerald eyes. “Happy birthday, Lia.” He reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a small box, handing it to me like it was something precious. I took the box in my hands. I didn’t bother peeling the paper carefully; I was too impatient, too eager. The paper tore away, and the box opened, revealing a watch. Not just any watch. My father’s watch. For a moment, I couldn’t breathe. It gleamed under the light, the leather strap restored, the face polished, the small scratches smoothed away but not erased. I turned it over with trembling fingers. My eyes stung as I read the engraving on the back. ‘I am bound to you, no matter the end.’ The same words my mother had given to my father. The same watch he wore every day until the accident. Tears welled in my eyes. “How did you—where did you—?” “I pulled it from the wreck,” Aiden said quietly. “Eight years ago.” The air left my lungs in a rush. The memory slammed into me, sharp and unforgiving. The screeching tires. The impact. The smoke. I had been trapped, screaming for them, screaming for help. And he had come for me. Pulled me out before the flames swallowed the car whole. Saved me. “It was broken,” he said, his voice low. “I had it repaired.” My thumb slid over the engraved words again. I am bound to you, no matter the end. I never understood what it meant when I was younger. But now… now I was starting to. A sob broke from my chest as I flung myself at him, my arms wrapping around his neck. “Thank you,” I whispered against him. “Thank you for everything.” For a moment, he held me. His arms were warm and strong, grounding me like they always had. And for the first time in a long time, I let myself believe. Believe that maybe—maybe—he felt it too. “I love you,” I said softly. The words had barely left my mouth before I felt him stiffen. His arms loosened. His hands came to my shoulders and gently, firmly, pushed me back. I blinked up at him, confused. But the look on his face made my stomach twist. He was angry. “You can’t say that, Lia,” he said, his voice tight. I swallowed hard. “Why not? It’s the truth. I’ve loved you since the day you saved me.” His jaw clenched, and he stepped back. And then another step. “No.” It was one word. Sharp. Demanding. Final. “Aiden, please,” I said, my voice breaking. “I’ve spent years waiting for this moment. For you. I graduated early from Harvard. I gave up everything I wanted for myself so I could be the kind of woman who—who deserves to stand beside you. Who deserves to have your love.” He dragged a hand through his hair, frustration etched into every hard line of his face. “I already have a woman worthy of standing beside me.” The air rushed out of my lungs. “You’re lying.” His gaze hardened. “I’m not. You were my responsibility. That’s all you’ve ever been.” The words cut me open. “But… I thought…” “I thought you’d grown out of this childish crush,” he said coldly. “I thought you’d matured.” I stared at him, my chest aching so badly I could barely breathe. “You pitied me,” I whispered. “That’s all this was.” “I did what I had to do,” he said. “You lost your parents. I made sure you were safe. That’s it. You were brought under the protection of the family when your uncle and aunt took you in and as an extension, you were my responsibility.” I shook my head, tears falling freely now. “All I ever wanted was to be worthy of your love.” “You’re not,” he said sharply, his voice like a blade. “And you never will be.” I took a step back, then another. My hands were shaking, still clutching the watch like it was all I had left. The engraving burned into my palm. Bound to you, no matter the end. This was the end. I turned and ran. I didn’t care who saw me. I didn’t care that the guards glanced at me with surprise as I bolted through the house. My vision blurred as I stumbled out the door and into the night. ---- “There he is.” Moira said, turning me to face the entrance. He walked into the room, and the world seemed to tilt on its axis. Tall, impossibly tall at 6'2", with dark hair that looked like silk and eyes that held the same depth and mystery as the ocean. His black Brioni suit clung to him in all the right ways, hinting at the strength beneath, and for a moment, I couldn’t breathe. He was flawless, a Greek god in human form. But then I saw her. The one that was worthy of him. She was draped on his arm, radiant and golden like she’d stepped straight out of a dream. Her long, wavy blonde hair shimmered under the lights, and her amber eyes sparkled with a lightness I couldn’t compete with. She was tall, just a few inches shorter than him, with a willowy figure that screamed perfection. Of course, she wasn’t just a model in appearance—she was a model, the kind of woman who belonged in his world, by his side. Her golden gown was the opposite of my midnight black. That was the difference between us. She was light, his light and I was the dark, stained with death and destruction. He kept his arm around her waist, possessively. They were perfect together. I tried to look away, to ignore the pang in my chest, but I couldn’t. They were everything I wasn’t, everything I could never be for him. And yet, no matter how perfect they seemed, I couldn’t stop wishing—hoping—that I was the one he’d chosen. It was a foolish, naive thought. This wasn’t the first time he’d broken my heart. He had rejected me, not once, but countless times, his words clear and sharp like shards of glass: I will never want you. I should’ve seen it coming. I should’ve known better. And yet, it still hit me like a tidal wave every time. The truth, no matter how inevitable, had left me feeling hollow, as though someone had ripped out my heart and left me to bleed. He wasn’t mine to love, and he never would be. He may have been my cousin’s best friend, but that didn’t change the stark reality of who he was—or the fact that I would never fit into his world. Tears burned at the back of my eyes, threatening to spill. But I couldn’t let them fall. Not here. Not now. Not in front of all these people. It was my 21st birthday. My aunt and uncle had thrown this beautiful, extravagant party for me. They’d gone above and beyond to make this night unforgettable, and the last thing I wanted to do was disappoint them by letting anyone see just how shattered I felt. I needed a clean break, a fresh start far away from him. I needed time to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and find a way to move on. As I blinked back the tears and forced myself to build the walls I should have erected long ago, I turned back toward the crowd. My gaze caught on him again, just in time to see him leaning down, his lips meeting hers in a kiss. And just like that, I shattered all over again. That man was the reason I was alive, but he was also becoming the reason I hated myself. And the reason I was going to leave. And never look back.