Who Unkilled Johnny Murder?-9
588 Words
Corinna put up a fuss on the cab ride through the Quarter, but I played it like she was drunk off her ass, and the driver seemed to buy it. Starbulk caught the worst of her wrath but managed to keep the stripper restrained without making it look too obvious...at least to a Pakistani cabbie who wasn’t watching too closely and didn’t want any trouble.
By the time we got her inside my second-floor shitpit on Dumaine Street, Corinna seemed all played out. She entered docilely and sat on the recliner like I told her, and I started asking questions as soon as her sweet ass hit the cushion.
“I hear you’ve been hangin’ ‘round with the spittin’ image of Johnny Murder,” I said, plunking myself down on the sofa across from her. “So what’s his deal, Corinna?”
“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” she said, crossing one long, sexy leg over the other. “You must be mistakin’ me for someone else.”
“The shape-shifter,” said Starbulk, towering behind me. “We’re talking about the bloodthirsty shape-shifting creature posing as Johnny Murder.”
Corinna looked at Starbulk like he was crazy. “Why don’t you go get Ms. Crimsone a glass of water?” I said, turning to glare up at him. “She looks thirsty.”
Starbulk hesitated, then headed for the kitchenette. “Be careful with her,” he said. “She could very well be a sorceress or demoness. Don’t let her touch you.”
“No chance of that,” Corinna said wryly, sneering at me.
“And here we spent all those special times together,” I said. “Maybe this’ll jog your memory.” Tugging a wadded-up dollar bill from my shorts pocket, I flattened it out and waved it at her. “Now you feelin’ more affectionate? God knows, I stuffed enough of these in your G-string up at the strip club.”
“One dollar? Ain’t you got nothin’ bigger?” She dropped her eyes to my crotch then and laughed. “Oh, I guess not.”
I smiled. “No wonder you’re not impressed,” I said. “You only like dead guys, apparently. So how exactly did you an’ Johnny hook up? You makin’ the rounds down at Lafayette Cemetery?”
Corinna leaned over, smiling wickedly at me. “The only dead guys I know are you an’ your boyfriend,” she said. “Here’s a newsflash, fatass: my sugar daddy knows where you live, an’ I guarantee he’s comin’ to get me.”
“Maybe we’ll have us a foursome,” I said, staring into her eyes...and then her cleavage. I leaned forward for a closer look...not at her breasts, as huge as they were, but at what was squirrelled away between them.
“What you got there?” I said, pointing at what looked like some folded-up paper pushed down in her cleavage.
“Nothin’,” she said, leaning back quickly.
“Now you know that ain’t true,” I said, getting up off the couch. “Come on, hand it over.”
“You lay one fat finger on me, an’ I’ll gouge out your balls,” said Corinna.
“Okay then,” I said. Starbulk had reentered the room with a glass of water, and I motioned him over. “Hey, Quinto. Let’s have a look at whatever she’s got stashed between her boobs.”
“Will do,” said Starbulk, putting the glass down and stepping toward us.
Corinna clamped her hands over her chest and jumped out of the rocker...but Starbulk came up with the item in two fast moves, tickling her sides so she dropped her arms and then zipping two fingers in and out of her bodice.
He unfolded the envelope she’d been concealing and flipped it open. “Airline tickets,” he said. “One way tickets to Rome.”
I nodded. “It figures,” I said. “Corinna an’ her sweetheart have a little getaway planned. When’s the flight leave?”
“Two a.m.,” said Starbulk. “Five hours from now.”
“I guess we can expect company by then,” I said, flashing Corinna a giant smile, “‘cause Johnny might leave this redhead stripper skank behind, but he ain’t gettin’ on that plane without his tickets.”
Apparently, Corinna didn’t appreciate what I’d said. As I turned to have a look at the plane tickets, I heard her gag...and I whipped back around just in time to see her yank her finger out of her throat.
Next thing I knew, she was throwing up all over me.
- Writer
