I stare at Flint’s ceiling as he showers, bathed in the purest and most incredible emotion I’ve ever felt.
I can’t believe how much I care about him. I can’t believe how much I love to be with him. I’m sickened by the thought of leaving him. He’s simply the most wonderful person I’ve ever met, and the way he makes me feel…
At the same time, I hate myself for what I’m doing to him. I hate myself for having a boyfriend—not just any boyfriend, but one who is a threat to him. I hate myself for having a disease that could infect him the moment safe s*x fails us. I hate myself for not stopping things, and yet I know I’d do the same thing if it happened again. And I hope it does.
What am I going to say to Damon? What can I say? Nothing. I have to pretend everything is fine. I can start thinkin
