The Escape ( Paddock Passion Series Book 1)

Chapter Seven

I awoke early the next morning, as I looked in the mirror I looked terrible, my eyes puffy and slightly bloodshot from the crying, I had big black circles under each one,  my skin looked unnaturally pale despite my tan, my hair reminded me of a birds nest.  I quickly showered and changed into shorts and a t-shirt, my ankle was still sore so slipped on a pair of flip flops. I brushed my hair, but it really wasn’t looking any better so scraped it up and twisted the long lengths into a bun at the nape of my neck.  I headed down to breakfast, as normal Sabino was there sat with his team, again he was staring. He walked over to my table, “I think we have mis understanding, I explain” he said.

“I think you explained enough last night, please leave me alone Sab, I do not want to talk with you” it took all my strength not to look at him, and despite everything my skin bristled just to know he was near me.

I could feel he was staring at me intensely, my resolve gave way, and I turned to him, He looked pained, and concerned.

He bent over and whispered in my ear, “I will talk with you later” how could this man make my blood boil with so much anger, yet my body still cry out for him. I was angry and felt betrayed by my own emotions.

“No! you will not, now go find yourself one of those ‘Racer Chasers’ you talk about so much, because I am not one of them!” I whispered at him, my voice slightly cracking, I turned away before the tears that stung my eyes escaped.

“Nat, what’s wrong? “Emily gently asked.  Her face looked concerned as she stared at my appearance. I looked around; I had not spotted her earlier, to wrapped up in my different emotions.  I could not find the words, and I was afraid if I said anything I would breakdown crying.  I just shook my head.

Just then there was a commotion from the team table, I chose not to look, Emily did though.

“Nat, do you know why Sab has left?” she gently pushed.  So, he had stormed out again, left like he was the wounded party in all this typical!

My emotions turned to pure rage at a level I had never before experienced. Before I could stop myself snapped at Emily

 “How would I know? the man is a total d**k HEAD, who knows what or why he does things.”

Emily sat down and asked gently again what had happened.  I shrugged and said, “nothing really it’s all confusing and beyond stupid.” 

Myla arrived and she looked at me, a little shocked

“Nat I have known you for 9 years, and I have never seen you so angry, ever, even after one of Damon’s hissy fits have you been like this, look at you your shaking!”  I looked down at my hands and she was right they were shaking,

“What the f**k did you say to HIM” a Spanish voice shouted over to me.  I looked over at Carlos as he headed over to me, and that was the breaking point, it was too much to bare, I was either going to cry, which I refused to let happen, so instead I exploded

“What did I say to HIM! More like what HE said to ME, I do not care who he is, what he is or how many championships he has won, I am not a ‘Racer Chaser’ I do not fall at the feet of men with an Ego the size of Spain” I shouted.  “That Man has me feel so uncomfortable looking at me as if I was s**t on his shoe one minuet then asking me for a meal the next, only to tell me that I am not good for him  but that is fine, because he is not good for me”. Just then Sam walked into the foyer, he said nothing, but was staring at me, shocked at my outburst. I was full flow now “Then he tries to tell me what to wear, and that I am no good for him! I did NOTHING wrong, well he can go f**k HIMSELF and any other w***e he can find!”

Sam looked on in horror, “Nat, calm down, and when did you start to use swear words like that!” I did feel ashamed of my outburst, however, I then turned on my loving favourite brother and shouted, “About the same time you introduced me to a self-obsessed rider!”

Over in the other corner I heard an Australian accent laughing and saying “Oh s**t’s gone wrong” it was Mark Johnstone, I glared at him, however at that point I realised I had been shouting and causing a scene.  I immediately felt embarrassed and humiliated by my behaviour, and quickly headed for the stairs to escape the eyes that were looking in my direction.

I could hear Myla was behind me, “Nat, come on slow down” she pleaded as we arrived at my room, she followed me inside.

“I have never in my life known you to care about anyone being rude to you, you have always rose above it, and never have I seen you like this… I must admit to being a little proud of your outburst, but mostly I am shocked, you never react” she said to me, looking more than a little amused at my embarrassment,

“Oh Myla, what is wrong with me, I don’t know why I care, but I do, I really care, I cannot explain it, I have never had a crush on anyone, and I do not want to have another anytime soon, if this is how it makes you feel” Myla looked surprised, but not as surprised as my Brother who was now standing in the doorway.

“You like him Nat?” he asked more gently than I deserved given my outburst.  He knew I was no push over and not a female who had hysterics over men, celebrities or otherwise, he knew this was not my normal behaviour.  I just nodded in reply and put my head down and started to sob.

 (Sabino’s Point of View)

I stormed around my room; how dare he say that about her. Carlos may be my closest friend and colleague, but he had overstepped the mark when he had told me to forget the stupid b***h. Images of her beautiful face haunted my thoughts.  Her face and eyes were swollen, she looked like she had not slept for a week.  What had I done!

I sat on my bed and began the breathing exercises I practice before a race. Maybe this was for the best, now I can concentrate on what is important, rather than this nonsense.  I needed to prepare to see the Doctor anyway, along with the tests to see if I am strong enough to race at all this weekend. I also needed to do my physio, and have a run, and trip to the gym, I could potentially go all day without having to give her or this situation another thought. But her beautiful, yet distraught face would not remove itself from my mind’s eye. I felt ashamed, that I had caused this, and that I could not control my passion for her.

The Knock at my door interrupted my thoughts, I got up to answer, stood there was Colin and Emily.  “Sab, can we come in please” Emily asked. 

I nodded at them, I knew my teammate would be discreet and out of everyone on the grid he was the most trustworthy competitor, however he was still a competitor who I did not want to show weakness to. 

Emily was a lovely lady, everyone liked her, she was kind and gentle, but to the point, we all had a lot of respect for her. We all respected how she helped Colin through some tough times both on and off track, the sacrifices she made for him to aid his recovery from a crash a few years ago, both mentally and physically, and we all know the pain she goes through every race as she relives the fear of her husband being told he may never walk again.  I had to explain this, but it was hard enough in Spanish my native tongue let alone in English.

Emily started to speak, “Colin has told me that for the first time in your career you have seen a girl you actually like” she looked at me with compassion.  I nodded “ I wanted to share with you, although Colin disagrees with me, on how we got together, it may help”  I looked over at them Colin shrugged as  a man who was used to this unassuming gentle but strong woman getting her own way.

“We had a strange experience, one we never tell people, as it is hard to comprehend, unless it happens to you.  I was never one to believe in love at first sight, that was for the Disney channel, and not real life.  Colin as you know, is not soft and would never thought this could have happened.  But I am here now to tell you it happened, to us.  It was confusing, we both felt it, and let’s just say after months of misunderstandings, heated arguments due to  Colin having the mis conception that it would interfere with his career we finally admitted our feelings to each other,”  Emily said.

“Mate, look, I know it sounds fluffy, but it wasn’t at the time, all I knew was the moment I saw Emily I didn’t just fancy her, but needed her.  She became my focus, so much so, I couldn’t focus on the bike, the race, and the more that happened the more I fought being with her, the more my focus was on her.  I avoided her, but it made no difference, it only made the longing worse, the more I tried to forget Emily, the harder my races became, eventually I gave in but by then she thought I hated her, and she would shun me.  I believe this has started to happen to you with Nat, you cannot explain this feeling mate, and how this affects you instantly when you meet the one.  to talk to anyone other than people who have been in this situation , as to others it would make you sound like an i***t, which is why I did not want to come here this morning, but if you want to be happy and to keep winning you need to make peace with how you are feeling, and to chase after that girl till she is yours to keep, she will not be a distraction, but more the gravity that will keep you on track.” Colins words were matter of fact, he was known in the paddock as a man who would grit his teeth and get on with any job, a man’s man and to hear him admit this experience was something I could see was difficult for him.  I could not deny that since he and Emily married, he was a force both on and off the track, his natural talent, was not as some of the riders. But his dogged determination to succeed was what had given him more than a dozen podium finished, and even a few race wins. He was one of the most respected racers. And I was pleased when he was finally promoted to the factory team as my teammate.

Hearing this from both Colin and Emily, gave me a glimmer of hope, that I was not going mad, that I could embrace this situation and maybe, just maybe, I could figure out what Nathalie was to me.

“she is angry, yes” I asked,

“More than just angry Mate, she has some temper on her you will have your hands full, and you will have to do something big as a gesture” he laughed.

“yes Sab she is more than angry, she is hurt, and confused, as like me she is not the fluffy girl who believes in fairy tales, but is level headed, her outburst downstairs, was out of character, even her own family and closest friend were shocked to the core by it” Emily stated

“What was this outburst?” I asked.  I grew more angry at Carlos the more Emily and Colin told me of what had happened after I had left, how dare he go to her after calling her a b***h and demand to know what was said between us. How dare he upset her further. Maybe it was too late now, so much had happened in a short space of time, maybe she will forget me, but something in my sub conscious told me that no, I could win her approval, I could be with her. Maybe I needed some of my on-track courage, strength and motivation, but this time to be with this girl who I had only just met,

After Colin and Emily left, I focused on my upcoming medical and fitness test and I got ready to head for the Doctors.  I was still in a state of confusion, but for the first time in what seemed a lot longer than a couple of days, with a sense of hope that all could be well again. If she forgave me, I needed to show her how sorry I was, how stupid I had been. Before I left, I made a call to my Mama, she heard the strain in my voice.  Everything that had happened I told her, leaving nothing out, it felt good to talk to the person I trusted most in the world.  When I was finished there was silence at the end of the phone.  “Mama?” I asked, then I heard my Papa’s voice.  In the background “Mariana what is the matter?” then my loving mother said to both him and me “Oh just Sabino, he has fallen in love!”

 (Nathalie’s Point of View)

As the final tears were wiped away by my best friend, I looked at my brother, he was staring intently at me, I did not know what to say or do embarrassed by my show of emotion, I realised I sounded like a teenage i***t girl, something I in fact now was.  Sam turned to Myla and asked very politely “can you give me a few minutes with my sister please, I will come get you when we have had a chat”  Myla looked up at Sam, and nodded, since his outburst this morning, she seemed to have more respect for him than she had ever displayed before. Once she left the room Sam sat on the bed beside me and gave me a brotherly hug. 

“f**k Sake Nat, you didn’t half let that Carlos have it both barrels” he joked with me. 

“sorry” I whispered my voice hoarse from the Sobbing.

“Damon wouldn’t have had a look in with that outburst” he teased, I knew he was trying to make me laugh and feel better, but my depressed mood was unshakeable.

“Look Nat, I cannot pretend to understand this,” but that does not mean I do not empathise with you, I know you. You are wiser than your years, and you normally have your feet on the ground, so I am not saying this lightly. But you need to think about this situation, it has already gotten way out of hand and at super speed. You are not one for a flight of fancy, I know , so I am taking this seriously,  Love is cruel, it is confusing, it makes you angry inside at times, when the person you want is not the person you want them to be.  It can cut you to the core, believe me I know”  I looked at my brother, he spoke of love with a voice that shared my despair, but who, and when had this happened? he had not brought a girl home for over 2 years, he seemed to be happy with his bachelor life.

“Nat, before you totally fall for Sab, you need to count the cost and look at the possibility that he is like any other man who has women falling at his feet, Emily says he is not a typical man in that way that he is, totally focused on racing, and she has never seen him with any women or even shown interest in the ‘Racer Chasers’ or even the paddock models, no matter how hard they threw themselves at him, In fact some people thought he may be immune, for other reasons than just pure focus on racing, and although I trust her I do understand Men so caution you to be careful.   That said, it seems as though you have struck some sort of nerve within the man, and he has had some sort of reaction to you.  I did notice yesterday he could not keep his eyes off you, if you moved his eyes moved towards you, and the more this happened the angrier he seemed to get.  I don’t know why, but apparently this is out of character for him. Which makes me wonder what the connection is between you two, as your actions today were not how you normally behave. So I guess I am saying, that you are not to beat yourself up about it, there does seem some connection as strange as it sounds, but please keep your head, and beware, as if I turn up home without you and your living in Spain with a motorbike championship rider you may not have a Nice brother anymore, just the pain in the ass one.”  That last comment made me laugh, how true, Mam and Dad would make his life a living hell if I stayed here with a man I had just met, I laughed at the thought, it was so ridiculous, however, the fall out at home would be something worth paying to see, if you enjoyed horror films.

The rest of the day passed with a blur, I was in no mood to go sightseeing, and Myla was more than happy to hang around the pool at the hotel.  She had worn a somewhat more respectful swimming costume today, and I wondered if this had something to do with the talk Sam and I had had with her this morning, she definitely seemed more subdued than normal, as I lay on my sun lounger my mind wandered again to the events this morning.  The memory of Sabino standing next to me obviously trying to apologise conjured up feelings I could not explain.  He was so sexy, his body was close to me, and I remembered the thrill and the total humiliation from the doomed meal last night The conversation was awkward to say the least, especially my pride fill response to his request to talk I didn’t understand why Carlos then turned on me.  It was all very concerning, however, I had not seen any of the riders or teams since this morning, so I was spared my blushes for a while longer.  I doubted very much if the offer from Emily of the paddock passes was still on the table, in fact I had not seen her since my outburst.  This bothered me, as she was a lovely person, and I had totally humiliated myself, and I guessed she was keeping a distance from the crazy girl who was Sam’s sister,  I looked at my watch, and it was now 14:00 hours, the day had gone so fast,  I looked over at Myla and Sam, they seemed to be getting along a lot better today, which was a blessing, Sam seemed to relax a lot more in her company than previously.  I wondered again who the woman was that had obviously stolen my brothers’ heart.  I hoped she was worthy of him, but it was just like him to not let anyone know what was happening in his life, he really kept his personal life to himself.  I was surprised by his words this morning, I was awaiting the confrontation, but instead, I received understanding, at a level I did not know existed with my brother.  I hoped I would see Emily soon, I really needed to apologise for my bad behaviour this morning,   I decided I needed to re hydrate, the heat was starting to take its toll on me, and although I tanned easily, too much heat could make me feel a little under the weather.  As I walked over to the bar area, I noticed a large crowd of girls and guys standing at the entrance to the pool, there seemed to be some excitement and a buzz in the air. To be honest at that precise time, I was far too emotionally exhausted to pay much attention, however the giggling and gasps I could hear eventually intrigued me.  I looked up and over to where the commotion was coming from, extending my neck to attempt to see what was happening beyond the people who had gathered. I must have looked like a Mere Cat sat there, but I drew the line at standing up to see.  Sam and Myla had made their way over to me, “What’s Happening” Myla enquired,

“not sure, cannot see, but seems of interest to a lot of people” I responded

“someone has placed a banner outside on the railings” the barman informed us,

“I will go and look” Sam offered and headed over to the throng of people curiosity obviously getting the better of him.

A few minutes later he came over to us, without a word, he gently grabbed my arm and lead me through the people, to where the banner was placed.  I looked on in amazement and could not quite believe what I was seeing. The Banner said “Sorry Nathalie” on it and beside it with the biggest bunch of yellow roses stood Sabino.  I looked on in shock, frozen to the spot, his eyes met mine and the anger I had felt disappeared in an instant. Sabino smiled at me and walked across to me. The people who had gathered parted like a sea watching him come towards me.  I felt my cheeks burn red, as he passed me the flowers.  “I am a d**k Head No” he said smiling at me, he had obviously been told of my outburst, which made me blush even harder.  “I am sorry, I need to talk with you I think we should go and have, how do you say ‘chat’, All eyes were upon me at that point, and the blood rushed to my face, being the centre of attention was never pleasant.  I looked at him and said as calm as I could “please take down that banner, and please never make a show of me like this again”  I went to walk away, but my brother held on to my arm.

“Nat you need to hear him out” he whispered in my ear

“Not like this I don’t, it is humiliating!” I replied in an instant.  How could this crazy man think a totally embarrassing gesture like this would result in anything but humiliation for me.  Everything inside me wanted to run away from the spectacle, however Sam’s hand stayed firmly on my arm preventing me.

“You will make more of a spectacle now if you don’t hear him out Nat” I could hear the Sam’s patience was wearing thin, he like me did not like attention, and he was just as front and centre as I was at the moment.

“Sam would you like to be with us as I chat to your sister,” Sabino spoke to my brother in a way no person in England would speak, with such respect, and consideration of his position as my chaperone on this holiday.  Sam looked at me, “Do you want me to come Nat?” he asked, I thought about it for a moment, I wanted to chat so badly, but I also wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.  I looked at Sabino, he too looked embarrassed, almost humble.

“No thanks Sam, I will be Okay, I have my phone and will text you if I need you, is that okay?”  I was surprised at Sam’s nod of agreement, at home, this would never have been allowed to happen.