The Escape ( Paddock Passion Series Book 1)

Chapter Four

 (Nathalie’s Point of View)

I stood determined not to glance back at Sabino, it took all my strength.  I did not know how I could have such a strong reaction to this man.  I had not slept last night, thoughts of him from the poster in the airport, to his disapproving look he gave me was all I could think of.  I was annoyed that this man could be so distant, and I was upset that it affected me so much.  All through the night my mind was in turmoil, my own inner battle to not think of him was in deep contrast to my body aching every time I had thought of him. To have him so close, I could feel his hot breath on my neck, causing a feeling I had never experienced before setting my body on fire, it was bittersweet, it felt so right, but I knew it was so wrong.  I could not let this man know of my turmoil, it would be more than I could cope with to become a “Racer Chaser” like many women before me, but I could not shake the feeling that there was something there, despite his look of annoyance at my very existence.

Finally, the elevator came to its shuddering halt and the doors opened, If I had of been tempted to look back at him, the scene before me certainly held my focus. was greeted by my rather dishevelled best friend Myla.  I could see she had been crying, and I quickly made my way over to her.

“What on earth has happened Myla?” I asked her, shocked at her appearance.  She suppressed a sob

“I.. I am not going anywhere near that racetrack or those people again” she whimpered.  My heart sank something was terribly wrong.

“what happened Myla?” I urged her gently.  Taking my hand Myla took me over to a small sofa in a secluded corner of the foyer.

“ We got to my room, and he was.. well you know, then as he kissed me he said for me to call you, he demanded a threesome, when I refused he called me a c**k tease and said he only came with me to have you then he stormed out”

I looked at the face of my friend, for all her worldly ways, she was an insecure girl, and this would have made her feel worthless, something she felt all too easy.  It broke my heart, as the more she got into these situations, to try and give herself some  self-worth, the more they stripped her of her confidence even further, which resulted, in even worse decisions further down the line.  Her constant snipes at me, and put downs in company, often hit below the belt, but I understood that it was not her being a bad friend, but the need of my friend to be loved, and wanted.  Secretly Myla had always been jealous of my overprotective family, and if other people showed me attention, it was too much for her to accept.  This incident would have destroyed her inside.

“why am I always second-best Nat, even to you, my best friend” she pleaded with me.

“you would prefer me not to be here, and be just you and Sam, I know you would.  You think I am a slut and I deserve this don’t you” she spoke in hurt whispered tones. 

“I most certainly do not!  do I agree with some of your decisions, NO, but that is because I want you to hold yourself in high esteem, to know your own worth, to realise that your happiness comes from within and not the attentions of some man with an over inflated ego!” I retorted. 

“all the boy’s at school fancied you, they only ever spoke or got with me, to get to you.  Little miss perfect! I would give them anything they wanted, but all they wanted was Nat! do you know how that makes me feel!” her voice was animated and getting louder.  I knew that she would turn this into my fault, her inability to accept responsibility of her own actions due to the pain of being an unwanted child to a Mother and Father who, rather than love and protect their only child saw her as a mistake, an nuisance and a spoiler of their fun, she had to find some way of filling the gap.  My anger at her comments was not at Myla but was firmly at the door of the poor excuse of a family she had had the misfortune of being born into.

Just then Sam appeared he had obviously heard some if not all of the conversation, and he was unable to control the anger in his face.  He turned to Myla and spoke in a low, but authoritative voice. 

“It is not the fault of my sister that you throw yourself at anything in trousers, and that they treat you like muck because of this.  That is your fault! You need to take responsibility for your actions and not blame everyone else around you.  IF YOU do not change the way you are living your life and soon, no decent man will look at you, and that, my dear, is down to your choices, nobody else’s! Now dry your eyes and stop with the attention seeking, and GROW UP!” 

Sam was shaking with anger, his words were unduly harsh, something I had never thought I would say about my brother.  I was upset with him, as he would only make things worse. I know he was protective of me, but this was another level for him to be so abrupt to the point of dam right rude to my friend.  His annoyance and dislike for Myla seemed to overflow in just that one sentence that now had been spoken could never be taken back.

Myla’s look of hurt was unmistakable, her blue eyes brimmed with more tears, I could see she was fighting to keep them locked away, Sam’s words had cut to the core and big droplets escaped her eyes rolling down her cheeks.  She looked down, red in the face, I knew she felt ashamed.  I could not sit here and see her look like this, so placed a loving arm around her shoulder. 

“Myla, it doesn’t matter to me what you do, or say to me, I will never give up on our friendship, you are like the sister I never had, and I will love you always with no condemnation or blame” I whispered in her ear.

I then turned to my brother and said “Sam, that was too far!”  Sam looked at me, and nodded, he then turned to Myla, and looked at her, I could see him soften,  “I am sorry Myla, maybe that was harsh of me, but I, like Nat, want,  you to be the best version of yourself.” At that moment I saw a flicker in Sam’s face, something I could not quite understand it was a look of compassion, and of hurt.

Myla looked up at my brother and gave a small smile.  “Sorry” she whispered to me.

“Right let’s draw a line under this sorry episode and go eat breakfast, I am starving!” Sam declared and both Myla and I dutifully followed him into the breakfast room.

The breakfast buffet was full of many delights, with fresh fruit, yogurt, warm croissants, cereals, Toast, and with a stand at the bottom with a chef with a large hat making fresh pancakes.  The only thing missing was the “Full English” but given we were on the continent; this was of course a continental breakfast.  I decided to have some watermelon and strawberries with natural yoghurt with a strong cup of black coffee.  As I settled at our table, I had a strong feeling of being watched.  It was unnerving. I turned around to look and saw Sabino sat staring at me from his table at the back of the room.  I forced myself to turn away, concentrating on my breakfast.

Sam arrived with a stack of fresh pancakes; the smell was so delightful my mouth started to water.  I quickly decided that I was on holiday, so therefore deserved the morning treat.  I moved back my chair and headed to the chef.

Just then a familiar voice called over to me “Hey Nathalie, how are you this morning?” it was Emily. I smiled at her, as she made her way over to me.  “Hi, I am good thank you, and, how are you?”  I asked

“Well I have been busy this morning, I decided to get the team to give me three all access paddock passes for the weekend, which I have here” with that she handed me three lanyards with VIP Pass Friday, Saturday and Sunday written on them, with a map of the Circuit which looked strangely a lot like a sombrero and I wondered if that was by design, or if it was just my imagination. “For You, now you have to come to the race” she said teasing me.  I laughed “Oh I suppose I have to now then”

“Oh but maybe we cannot! I exclaimed suddenly remembering Myla’s words this morning.

“Really, why what happened” I looked at Emily, I did not want to betray Myla’s trust, so chose to say

“small complication from last night” 

“Oh! I see” Emily responded looking disappointed, she then looked over at Myla and Sam “This wouldn’t have anything to do with a randy polish racer and his wants and needs would it?”  I looked at Emily, my dislike of the man grew intensely I smiled and nodded.  Emily then turned to me and whispered “would you like me to talk to your friend, see if I can get her to change her mind, I know that Sam really wants to go, and between you and me, he helped me out of a bit of trouble when we were on that school trip”   I looked at Emily, I didn’t know how Myla would take to a conversation with another woman about what had happened, she had a deep distrust of girls, even me her oldest and only friend. 

“you can try, but I don’t know how she will take it”  I said, I really wanted my brother to be able to go to the race, and with the paddock passes it would make his dreams come true.

“Leave it with me, I deal with prima donna riders, and their entourage every day” with that she laughed light-heartedly and headed in the direction of Sam and Myla. It really was easy to like Emily and her down to earth attitude.

I asked the chef for my order of pancakes when suddenly a voice that both shocked me and made me melt like Ice in a Furness spoke. 

“The pancakes are good, yes” Sabino said

I turned to look at him, I felt like I would faint at the sight of him, how weak was I, my cheeks blushed red as I stumbled to find an answer, how could one man look so dam sexy in black shorts and a t-shirt with Orange and red on it! Before my brain could find a response Sabino continued

“this is very good, but not very good for my fitness no, I am breaking all the rules now” he smiled at me such a warm and inviting smile.

“Maybe you and your friends would like to join my team at our table?” he continued.  This comment angered me, after his behaviour last night, why would he think I would venture to sit at his dam table, my pride for one would not let me no matter how much my body ached for him.

“No thank you” I said, picked up my pancakes and headed back to my table, where I could see Myla listening intently to Emily, with Sam looking more than irritated by the conversation.

As I approached Sam looked at me, “are you Okay, you look like a bulldog that has swallowed a wasp” he exclaimed.

“I am fine” I answered in a tone that told anyone in hearing distance that I was far from Fine, he knew not to press me on the subject respecting my obvious want of privacy.  Myla was to self-absorbed with her tale of woe, talking to Emily to even lift her head towards me, which I was grateful for.  For one she would not like the attention being taken away from her drama, and secondly she would, push and prod till she got all the information out of me, and to speak about this, would sound, and is, so ridiculous.

I heard a lot of chatter from the “Teams Table” and I glanced over before I had a chance to stop myself.  Sabino was sitting with a face like thunder.  Carlos looked over at me, turned and spoke to him again.  The conversation sounded heated, Sabino then pushed his plate of pancakes away got up and walked out of the breakfast room.  The whole room turned to look at him, mostly looking shocked.  Even Myla, took the time out from telling Emily all about Adamo and the previous night to look up. 

Emily looked over to Colin who was sat at the team table, he glanced in my direction and then shrugged his shoulders at his wife.  It was all very weird.  We continued our conversation, deciding on our plans for the day.  I wanted to go exploring around the city, taking in the sights.  Myla was less interested in doing this, until I mentioned, maybe we could do some shopping, after and that instantly improved her mood.

“What about you Emily, what are your plans for today?” I asked

“Colin has press duties today with Sab, they have to go film for the various TV channels, Something I prefer to avoid” she said laughing

“If you like Emily, you can join us for some Girl’s time” I offered,

Smiling she accepted, I got the feeling she was hoping we would ask her, I realised that to live in this world must be difficult for her, and any release from the intensity it seemed to invite was welcome.

Sam let off and involuntary huff, I instantly knew that to spend the afternoon shopping with us was not on his bucket list of things to do with his life.   

“It’s okay Sam, once we start on the shops you are free to leave” I offered

We headed back to our rooms to get our things together and agreed to meet in an hour.