FIFTEEN: FOR REAL (PART 2)
2054 Words
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“God, woman. I miss you do damn much.”
Matteo grabbed me for embrace the moment the lift doors open. He was waiting for me at the foyer.
I hugged him back. “I miss you too, Matt.” I replied with sincerity because it’s all true.
Hinawakan nito ang magkabilang balikat ko at tumitig sa akin. “Wow. You look…”
“…ugly, I know.” Dugtong ko sa sasabihin sana niya.
He chuckled. “You look like you didn’t get enough sleep. Yun ang sasabihin ko but despite having dark circles under your eyes, you’re still beautiful, sweetheart.”
“I have mirror at home, Matt. You don’t have to patronize me.”
Nagkibit-balikat ito at giniya ako papasok sa malawak na sala. I thought I would never set foot in here again but here I am. Two weeks and nothing had changed except I could not find the painting that used to hang on the wall before.
Kunot-noong nilingon ko si Matt. “Nasaan ang painting diyan, Matt?”
His gaze followed the direction I was pointing at. “Ah. Nilipat ni Romano sa kwarto niya. The first thing he did when he arrived was to check your room, and he stayed there for hours. Nang lumabas siya kinuha niya ang painting at pinasok sa kwarto niya. He stepped out moments later to drown his sorrows. That man is troubled, Mira. Something is torturing him. Hindi namin alam kung ano ba talaga ang sanhi ng pag-iba ni Romano. His mother would just cry every time Don Arturo asked her what happened from their short trip to Batangas. Will you fill me in?”
I shook my head and gave him an apologetic smile. It was difficult to me to reminisce the day he pushed me away. It still hurts thinking about it now.
“I understand. He’s in his room.”
“Bedroom? Did he ever go to his studio?”
Umiling ito. “Isa pa yan sa ipinag-alala ko. It seems like he doesn’t want do music anymore. I really don’t know what’s wrong with him. Something is f*****g his brain that makes him stop from everything he used to do and love before. He hates everything, Mira.”
“And that includes me, Matt.” My throat burned. “What did I do for him to hate me this much?” My eyes starting to water.
“I wish I have answers to your questions, sweetheart, but I am as clueless as you.”
Tumango ako. “I will get the answer from him, Matt. I just hope that whatever his reasons for hurting me like this are valid enough.”
Pinilig nito ang ulo at taimtim na tumitig ang lakake sa akin. “I’m always here for you, Mira. You’re not alone, remember that.”
“I will. Thanks, Matt.” I pointed the way to his bedroom. “Do you think he’s awake?”
“I don’t know. I have no idea. Why don’t you go in and find out for yourself.”
Tumango ako at humakbang patungo sa kwarto ni Romano nang inabot ni Matt ang aking palad na siyang nagpatigil sa akin. I looked at him over my shoulders, throwing him a questioning look.
“I’ll stay outside the door. Just in case something happens.”
“Matt, no. Romano won’t hurt me, physically. Trust me, I can manage.”
Humugot ito ng hininga at lumapaypay ang balikat. “I’ll be in the kitchen. Did you have your breakfast yet?”
Umiling ako. Gusto ko sanang sabihin na wala akong ganang kumain nitong nakaraang mga araw pero ayokong dumagdag pa sa alalahanin nito. “Not yet.”
He raked his eyes up and down my body. The looks he was giving me were a mixture of disappointment and pity. “Figures.”
Of course, it was obvious to him that I lose so much weight since the last time we saw each other in the airport.
“Go and talk to that apeshit. Once you’re done talking with him, come to the kitchen and eat the food I will prepare for you.”
“Okay.”
“Promise me you will eat, Mira.”
I chuckled, a light one. “Promise, big brother.”
Umismid lamang si Matt sa akin at ininguso ang hallway. Tumango ako sa kanya at saka nag-umpisang naglakad patungo sa kwarto ni Romano.
Nang tumapat ako sa pintuan, I did not bother knocking. I slowly opened the door and stepped into his room.
Sinalakay agad ang ilong ko ng matapang na amoy ng alak. I grimaced. May kadiliman sa kwarto ni Romano dahil sa blinds na nagtatakip sa pagpasok ng sinag ng araw. ..
I sighed when I saw his sleeping figure in the bed. Tinungo ko ang bintana and moved the blinds up by pulling the cords away from the locking mechanism.
Pumasok agad ang sinag ng araw at nagliwanag ang buong kwarto ni Romano. I looked around when everything was clear to me. Gusto kong pumalatak sa kalat na nakikita ko ngayon. Some of his dirty clothes were on the floor, countless empty cans and bottles of beers were scattered there, too.
I dragged my gaze to Romano’s sleeping form. His marred back was facing me. Marahan akong lumapit sa kanya at pinagmasdan ang sunog na bahagi ng kanyang likod. Nakuha niya ito sa pag protekta sa akin.
I lifted my hand and carefully caressed his damaged skin. He flinched from the touch.
“For f**k’s sake, Matt! I told you not to disturb me!”
His angry voice made my hair on my nape stood on its end. Agad akong napalayo sa kama. He groaned deeply as he rolled onto his back. His eyes snapped open and met my nervous gaze.
“f**k! You’re not here. I’m imagining things. I’m f*****g hallucinating.” Marahas itong umupo at madiin na pinikit ang mga mata. Sapo ng mga kamay ang kanyang nakayukong ulo. “Go away. Please, go away. You’re not supposed to be here. Stop f*****g my mind, Mira or Maya or whatever the f**k your real name is!”
He opened his eyes again and stared at me. He blinked a couple times, na tila ba pag ginawa niya iyon ay mawawala akong parang bula sa kanyang paningin. “Why are you not disappearing?” This time, his voice was low but it was full of pain I even felt it burning in my chest.
“Romano….”
To my surprise, Romano jumped from the bed and came to me in a matter of seconds. His hand was on my throat. I could feel the pressure of his fingers against my skin. But it wasn’t the way he’s choking me that shocked me. It was his looks. He seemed different. Wala na ang maaliwalas nitong anyo. His bloodshot eyes were terrifying. Magulo ang kanyang buhok at ilang araw na rin itong hindi nag-aahit. Matt was right. Romano was a mess.
“Shut the f**k up. I told you not to say my name!” He hissed angrily as his teeth chattered.
“We need to talk.” Kahit kumakabog ang dibdib ko sa kaba, alam kong hindi niya ako sasaktan sa pisikal na paraan.
“We’re done talking! Go away, Mira!”
“Anong ginawa ko sa’yo, Romano? Please, tell me para maitama ko kung ano man ang rason ng ikinagagalit mo sa akin.”
He gritted his teeth. “That’s the f*****g point here, Mira. None of us can change the past. Kung kaya kong itama, matagal ko na sanang ginawa, Mira. I wish I could turn back the time because if I was sure as hell would not want to meet you.”
“You’re hurting me with your words. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit.” Humikbi ako.
“I hate you. I hate everything about you, Mirasol! Forget me! Forget everything happened between us!”
“I can’t.”
“You will, Mira. You have no choice but to forget us. Go and find someone else. You and I won’t happened. Not in this f*****g lifetime.”
“Bakit mo ginagawa sa akin ito, Romano. Hindi ko alam bakit mo nasasabi sa akin yan. You love me. Mula noon at alam kong hanggang ngayon. Hindi mo paparusahan ang sarili mo kung hindi mo ako mahal, Romano. If you’re doing this out of guilt, pinapatawad kita. It’s not your fault.”
“Bullshit! This is entirely my fault! Trust me, Mira. I am protecting you. You have to stay away from me. Stay far away from me!”
“Is this your way of protecting me? By hurting me?”
“This is the only way! Kaya paki-usap, lumayo ka sa akin! Ayaw ko nang makita ka pa! I want you gone!” He let go of me at bahagyang umatras.
Patuloy sa pagpatak ang mga luha sa aking mga mata at sinundan iyon ng tingin ni Romano. I could see his sufferings. They were visible in his eyes.
“You don’t mean that. Don’t lie to me.”
“I f*****g mean it in every sense of the word, Mira. I want you gone. I don’t want to spend another minute thinking about you and worrying about you. I don’t even want to look at you. Your presence disgusts me. I don’t want to see you or smell you or hear your voice! I don’t want any of this because it’s driving me insane! Just go the f**k away!”
Parang mga punyal ang kanyang mga salitang bumabaon sa aking dibdib. “I love you.”
He growled like a wounded animal. “Don’t.” He clenched his jaw. “Don’t f*****g say that.”
“But it’s true.” I took a step forward. Romano froze. I took that chance and stopped an inch closer to him. I raised my hand and touched his cheek. I could feel him trembling. He became vulnerable with my touch.
“Don’t love me. We should hate each other, Mira. It’s for the best.” The tone of voice became weak. His face softened.
I gave him a small smile. “Oh, trust me, I hate you. I really hate you for hurting me this way and I don’t even deserve this but that doesn’t make me stop from loving you, Romano. I love you.”
My breathing hitched when he cradled my cheeks with both his hands and he dipped down to brush his lips against mine. Despite the harsh words that came from his mouth, his lips were soft against mine.
He groaned against his throat as he slammed his lips hard on mine and pushed me back against the wall. His kisses were aggressive I thought my lips started to bleed from the ferocity of his attacks. I wrapped my arms around his neck and opened my mouth with a whimper.
His wild kisses left me breathless and consumed my entire being in an instant. Right at that moment, I wanted to give him my everything. Every last drop of me.
Pero ganun na lang ang gulat ko nang bigla itong lumayo sa akin, galit ang mga matang nakatitig sa akin. He was glaring at me as he ran his hands through his hair in a frustrating manner.
“f**k!” He kicked the empty bottles on the floor. He picked one and forcefully threw it against the wall. I shrieked in fear.
“Don’t you ever tempt me again, Mirasol! Get the f**k out of my sight, now!”
“Ano?”
“What we did was disgusting I wanted to throw up! f**k this life! Leave! Now!” He picked up another bottle and threw it against his huge television.
Another sob escaped my throat. Anger welled up in my chest. Lumapit ako sa kanya at buong lakas na sinampal ito. My palm stung but it was nothing compared to the pain I was feeling in my heart.
“You win, Romano. I really hate you for real, this time. Go to hell, Romano Salvatore!”
I yelled at him before I ran towards the door and instantly opened it and stepped outside. The moment the door closed behind me, I heard him scream in agony.
That’s it, Romano. We’re over.
- Writer
