The Beauty Project

Chapter 3: Progress

Summer Before Sophomore Year, August 20.

It has been two weeks since ‘The Summer Beauty Project’ started. I had spent the majority of that time in my room, wearing sweatpants as much as possible, so when I didn't, I could be shocked by my progress.

In fact, I was kind of surprised Eliza hadn't noticed anything was up, but then again, I hadn't changed my eating habits at all. After a.. um.. food cleansing, I usually would sneak some salad or fruit back on my plate. Despite what it sounds like, I wasn't trying to starve myself; I just wanted to lose all that disgusting, nasty, jiggly, lump of fat that accompanied me everywhere.

I'm radioactive, radioactive.

I rolled over in bed to turn on my phone. Who wanted to text at eight in the morning?

The cracked screen lit up the name, and I smiled. Finn. Of course. His parents had probably gotten him up early again for ‘Science Saturday’. Yeah, they were so academically obsessed they literally devoted the first half of every Saturday to something school related. They had gone to museums, done various experiments.

I had gone a few times when Finn could drag me out of bed. Most of the time, there was a promise of ice cream afterwards for me. Don't get me wrong. They were probably the nerdiest activities I've ever seen. But there was something about them doing it all together that made it worth it.

That and the ice cream.

I read the text.

Finn: Heyy! Finally back from the Philippines. Wanna meet up at Red Mango?

I rolled my eyes. Red Mango was this ‘healthy’ fro-yo place that was down the street from my house. It wasn't sweet, had hardly any sugar in it, and basically, tasted exactly like yogurt that had been frozen.

Finn loved it. And, since I loved any kind of food, I tolerated it for him. I tolerated a lot for him.

Tanya: For sure! How does noon sound?

That would give me plenty of time to find a better outfit. Almost instantly I got a reply:

Finn: Awesome. See ya soon!

My eyes slowly wandered to my clock. 10:30. What?! I only had an hour and a half to get ready! I'd have even less time if I walked, which is what I planned to do, considering Eliza was already supposed to take Anthony to his hockey game today.

Hurrying, I flung open my closet and grabbed my favorite outfit. Yes, I was planning on wearing jeans in summer. Shorts were not my friend.

I felt my jaw drop as I slid on my jeans, only to have them fall to my knees. I tried again. My mouth raised into a grin as I realized they weren't going to fit.

"Eliza!" I cried, feeling happy tears fill my eyes. I tried to make them disappear. "ELIZA!"

"What?" She said, running in, looking worried. I smiled at her. And pulled my jeans on, to show my progress.

Her eyes widened. "Oh my God. How?"

Think, Tanya, think.

"I've been running with Ginger everyday."

"That's incredible," she said, looking me over. "We might even be the same size now."

No way.

Before I could respond, she walked away, only to return a moment later with a pair of her capris.

I took them gently, and took a deep breath. Here we go.

They were a little tight, but I could get the button to close. They fit. Holy crap. They fit.

Red Mango was only a few streets away from my house, which was really convenient for me. Especially when I was fat, because I could actually- barely make it there on foot. The sweet treat and Finn always made the trip worth it.

Normally, the half mile walk took me about half an hour to complete, so I left the house around 11:30. After seeing my clothing dilemma, Eliza graciously agreed to let me wear some of her clothes, all of which were high end and absolutely fabulous.

Before I left, I couldn't help but stare at the girl reflected back at me in the full-length mirror wedged in her room. I looked, while not skinny, better. Maybe not fat. Maybe.. normal. And I guess that was okay for now.

Still, I thought, turning to see how bulgy my thighs were. There was always room for improvement.

That wasn't to say that improvements hadn't already been made, I realized as I arrived at the shop. Honestly, I was kind of disappointed. Normally, Finn was the first one here, and would already be sitting at our usual corner table with our fro-yo.

Actually, he was always early. My mind instantly jumped to worst case scenarios. Was he hurt? Kidnapped? My heart broke a little at the next one.

Did he finally figure out he's too good for me?

Wait. I glanced at the red clock hung over the menu. 11:50. Had I seriously cut ten minutes from my walk?

Luckily, before I could drown in my thoughts, a boy with a familiar attractive appearance- he couldn't help his naturally rebelling hair- walked through the door.

Upon seeing me, his face brightened, and I ran to meet him in the line.

"Tanya!" He said, and I awkwardly pulled him into a hug. It's not that he didn't like me. Finn was just an awkward person.

But that was what made him so perfect.

"Finn!" I answered back, and he laughed. "Man, it's been forever!"

"I know, right?" I said.

Suddenly, I felt his eyes going over me. I fought a blush and forced myself to look at him. "What are you doing?" I asked.

He looked up, eyes wide and flushed. "Um, nothing," he said, smiling a little. "You just seem.. different."

"How so?" I felt my hands start to sweat. Please say something good. Please say something good.

Finn ran a hand through his insane hair and sighed. "This is going to sound super awkward, but have you been working out?"

I felt the corners of my mouth slide up. "Actually, I have been. Can you tell?" I turned in a circle.

"Wow," he said. "How long was I gone?"

I giggled and hit him on the shoulder.

***

"Next?" asked the cashier, looking bored.

"I'll take a plain cookies and cream," responded Finn. The lady slowly swirled it up, and handed it back.

"And you?"

"I'll have a chocolate," I said.

"Any toppings?"

"Um.. chocolate chips, white chocolate, cereal, graham crackers, cookies and cream. No, nutella. No, both."

She just stared at me, then went to the sweets section of the topping bar and dumped everything in it.

"Thanks," I said as she handed me the treat overflowing with sugar. Hey, the yogurt was nasty. I had to cover up the taste somehow.

Finn handed her a twenty as he looked at my confection. "You. Are. Ridiculous."

I shrugged. It really didn't matter. It wasn't like I was actually going to digest any of it anyway.

After that, we made our way to our table. "So, what have I missed?" he asked, spooning some of his yogurt into his mouth.

"Absolutely nothing," I answered.

He pointed to me. "Yeah, right. Look at you!"

I absentmindedly flipped my, still poofy, hair over my shoulder. "Yes?"

He thought for a moment. "You just seem more.. comfortable, I guess."

I gave him a look, and he shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just a guy, remember?" I laughed, and he grinned. "Are you ready for school to start?"

"Only a week left," I mused. It would be interesting to see if anyone noticed my weight loss. If anything would be.. different.

"Yup, one more week of freedom!" I rolled my eyes.

“Shut up, you love school and everyone knows it."

He gave me a look. "Not love. I just tolerate it. No.. I enjoy it. No, um, I.." I giggled and he put his head in his hands. "Nevermind."

We ended up talking for a good hour, which only reminded me of how much I liked him.. more than I should've. There was just something about how he got embarrassed so easily, how he knew everything, how he was sweet, kind and never tried to be mean to anyone, that was perfect to me.

Too bad he liked Georgia.

Georgia was my ex-best friend, one of the first to call me fat after my eating habits went downhill. She was beautiful, and had a voice like an angel.

She would also cut off her left leg if it made her more popular.

I had dropped her- well, I guess she had dropped me- the moment we got to high school. Finn had stayed in touch with her though and had liked her for a while. I wasn't really sure if he still did, but with looks like hers, he probably did.

Before I knew it, I was staring at an empty bowl.

"I have to go," Finn said, throwing his bowl away. "Mom wants to have a 'back to school’ trivia night." I shook my head at him.

"I'll see you later, then," I said.

"For sure!" he said, starting to walk out the door, then paused. "Do you want to come?"

I stared into his beautiful brown eyes. Oh, how my answer pained me.

"Of course! But I told Eliza I would watch the kids tonight. She has a date."

"Oh," he smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Next time for sure though!" I said.

"You're keeping that promise!" He started to leave, before stopping. "Well, do you at least want a ride?"

"I'm not on your way home."

He waved it off with one of his string-bracelet clad hands. "Don't worry about it."

I looked at my feet, trying to fight the oncoming blush. "Sure," I said.

"Come on then!" He said, walking to his silver civic.

I started following him, then remembered something. "Um, I have to go to the bathroom."

"Your house is literally two minutes away!" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Girl emergency," I responded, then flinched when I realized what I said. Finn's smile dimmed too, and his face started reddening.

"Oh, sure." He mumbled, looking anywhere but at me. "Take your time."

I grinned weakly before hurrying to the bathroom. Since it was a one person room, I didn't have to worry about other people seeing me.

With ease that came with weeks of practice, I stuck my finger down my throat, and cleansed my stomach. Ah. Much better.

I quickly flushed, and went to scrub my hands. Afterwards, I popped a mint into my mouth. I couldn't have Finn smelling puke on my breath. It'd probably be a major turn off.

Not that I was hoping he'd kiss me. I mean, I wouldn't complain if he did.

As I was running back to the car, I made three realizations.

1) Finn paid for my ice cream. He had never paid for me before. Usually, if he did, it was because I had done something for him or it was a special occasion. He never paid for no reason.

2) He was driving me home. Another thing he normally would only do if I begged first.

So did that mean..

3) Finn noticed the changes I made.. and he liked them?