Chapter 12 - I Trusted You
1023 Words
Kane's heart had been clenching the rest of the day. He didn't smile the rest of the time at school, and he barely spoke. Even Ally noticed the change in his demeanour, how he appeared terribly gloomy, as if a dark cloud surrounded him every where he walked. The worse was in art's class, when Jay never showed up, and he bit his thumb nail the whole hour, continuously checking the door to see if Jay would walk in.
After school was over, Kane did not speak the whole ride home. The tension was thick, and Ally attempted to comfort him, quietly saying, "I know you're smart, you'll figure something out." Kane did not respond, waiting until they were home to throw his bags onto the couch, grab the keys Ally left on the table stand beside the door and left the house.
He knew where he was going, and the minute he reached the condo building, he hurried to the entrance and headed to the elevator. The whole ride up, his heart was pounding, feeling as if he was seconds from a heart attack. At the same time, he was excited to see Jay since they hadn't talked the whole day, but afraid that Jay would never see him the same again.
Kane paused for a moment when he stood in front of his door, his knuckles raised millimetres away from the wooden fabric, but way too nervous to see the expression on Jay's face. Unfortunately, he didn't have the time to knock, nor think about what he was going to say, since he heard footsteps beside him.
Jay was wearing baggy clothes, his hood covering his hair and his school bag tightly wrapped on his back. When he met Kane's gaze, he paused for a moment before instantly lowering his sight to the ground. Without saying anything, he walked in front of him and shoved his keys into the lock.
Kane noticed how brute his movements were, how his fingers trembled too much that he had difficulty getting the key in the lock, and how he breathed a very quiet curse word.
Before he could enter the apartment, Kane reached for his wrist, "Please, let's talk."
"That's okay," Jay sighed, slowly nodding his head and opening his apartment door, facing Kane for a second. The minute Kane saw his eyes, swollen and puffy, and the way he sniffled every few seconds, it was clear that he was attempting to suppress the emotions he truly felt from the events of today. He wiped his nose on the end of his sleeve before shrugging his shoulders, "I'm used to it, so it's no big deal. I'm not mad," he smiled, but his lips were trembling, seconds from bursting into tears, "it happens all the time."
He pushed his glasses further on the bridge of his nose, lowering his gaze, "I shouldn't have expected anything anyway, I think it was too corny of me to do so, we just met," a few chuckles trailed afterwards before his lips finally shut, his eyes staring into space but his mind running through all the sensations Kane made him feel in so very little time. "So, don't worry about it, okay? It's nothing new—"
"Stop, Jay," Kane interrupted, and Jay raised his head, meeting his gaze. He seemed angry, adding, "Tell me the truth. Tell me how you really feel."
"I...I-I am telling the truth—"
"No," Kane stepped forward, "Jay, tell me what you're really thinking?"
Jay eyed him for a moment, and soon, his fake smile fell. In an instant, his entire face contorted, growing shaky by every second before he exploded into sobs, removing his glasses to wipe his eyes with the edges of his sleeves, unable to stop them from leaking. He resembled a little boy, defeated continuously and unable to see anything better coming out of this so-called life.
"You made me feel like I was nothing..." he spoke, his voice muffled against his hands, "like I was always just a joke to you. Why did you spend your lunch hour with me in the bathroom that one time?"
"I didn't want you to be alone," Kane admitted.
"Then you just feel sorry for me?"
"No Jay, not at all. I met you at the party and thought you were really cool—it was because I genuinely liked being around you."
"If you always wanted to be friends with all these jocks, then why don't you go ahead and do so! Don't give me false hope that all of a sudden my life will change, only to turn around and do the same thing they all did to me!"
Kane paused for a moment, seeing Jay's quivering lips before he whispered, "I'm sorry."
"You admitted that we weren't friends! I trusted you for nothing!"
"Jay..."
"And you know what's worse? These guys never gave me a chance, I knew they didn't like me from the beginning and I had no hopes up," his face twisted, his fingers gripping his chest right over his heart, "But you made it seem as if you actually liked me. Like you wanted to be my friend, you made me believe that I could trust you."
"I meant all those things I said, Jay—"
"No, you didn't. And that's alright, because I should have known. I don't deserve any of this anyway."
"That's not true."
"That's my truth," Jay shook his head, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm done with this, I'm spending the rest of the semester by myself and the minute I'm done, I'm never seeing anything about this city ever again."
"Please, listen—"
"Have a good life Kane, I'll see you around school."
"Jay, wait—"
Before he could say anything else, Jay slammed the door into his face. Afterwards, there were a few knocks, Kane shouting a few things before his footsteps drifted away down the hall. At that point, Jay slid his back down the door and he sat into the floor, burying his face into his palms and sobbing all night on the floor.
- Writer
