.the abyss of despair.

(Wake up). As soon as I open my eyes, I feel the emptiness. (Speaking sadly) My chest and mind fill with pain and longing. I see you in my thoughts, but I can't reach you. I remember how I met you in that December so far away and dark. Because of you, I hate Christmas. It hurts me to think how one of the happiest dates of the year now turns so gray and bitter. You were so beautiful, so radiant, so full of life. I fell in love with you from the first moment I saw you. You were my light in the midst of darkness, my hope in the midst of despair, my reason for living. Together we were happy, we shared so many unforgettable moments, so many dreams, so many laughs. You made me feel things I've never felt, you gave me a love I've never known. But everything changed one day. A day I will never forget. A day that marked the beginning of my hell. The day I lost you forever. It was an accident, a bloody accident. You were driving home from visiting your mother. I was waiting for you anxiously, with a surprise for you. It was our anniversary, and I wanted to celebrate it with you. But you never came. I never saw you again. I got the call that broke my soul. You had collided with a truck that ran a red light. You did not survive the impact. You didn't have a chance. I couldn't do anything for you. I couldn't save you. I could not say goodbye to you. Since then, my life has turned into hell. I don't feel like anything, I don't feel like anything, I don't feel like anything. I only live to remember you, to suffer for you, to miss you more every day. I am on the edge of the abyss, standing on a bench where I find myself pensive. I would like to take the step and put an end to what my life has become, a thread that suffocates me, my heart that bleeds. But I think about how sad and lonely my end would be, maybe no one will miss me, maybe no one will find me (he gets off the bench). I'd rather drown in alcohol (take a drink). Now I don't know what is worse, whether to suffer so much from all the sorrows of my tragic existence or not having the courage to end it (he sits on the edge of his bed). As I sit on the edge of my bed, I pray to God, a God I don't know if he exists, but if he exists, he has been very unfair to me. I prefer to close my eyes and dive into my dreams, hoping to see you again, even if it's only in my dreams.