Connectors of the Two Worlds

Chapter 2

The usual morning rituals were done. I almost curled back to my bed and saw the time on the wall clock. It's still 5 AM and the sunlight didn't even reach the grounds of Saint Claire. I wouldn't want to go back to sleep and be hurdled by the same nightmare again.

I tossed a crumpled paper into the trash basket beside my study table and set my eyes back at my notebook that appeared to be my diary.

I've been writing in this same old notebook since-- ages? When it runs out, I just buy new spiral notebooks and sew them along with the old leaves and continue writing my experiences. My diary is as thick as my Science book right now, and who knows someday it might become as thick as the thickest Webster's Dictionary in the World? If I would continue writing on it when that time comes...

Dear Diary,

Today is like any other day we always see and welcome as we wake up in the morning without the sunlight dominating the whole world. Today I'm doubting all of a sudden if I should take the Math Contest? I mean, what was the real reason why I ended up accepting it after what Rex has told me? Was it really in the mainstream that I wanted a change so badly that I have to believe what he had said, or is it because he's the one who encouraged me and because I love him?

I'm so confused to the point that I want to back out again.

It's back-to-school days and I'll be meeting up with Wednesday today, like the usual since Rex is meeting up with Ashley.

I actually missed us three, walking together to school. It kind of frustrated me thinking that Ashley is beginning to take Rex away from us.

-Clan

I sighed, closed the Diary, and placed it under my bed where a drawer was located. I put the diary there and locked it.

Dad had probably gone early, as usual, to open his store. As expected, he left me a note at the refrigerator like it was the only thing in the world that communicates us two. He says something about turning off all the equipment and the lights before leaving this miserable house.

I just shrugged. Grabbed the note and placed it in the trash bin near the ref, put out the last light I should, and started walking to the streets to Wednesday's.

She called up last night and made plans, me walking to her place and both we go to school while walking.

"You're so early, Clan! Did you sleep well last night?" she'd asked as she was just making it to her shoes.

"Uh... Yeah? Well, maybe I just had nightmares again. But I don't remember," I said half-curious with that matter. I lied when I said I don't remember that same nightmare I always dream of. It's just that I don't want her to worry too much for me.

She shook her head in disbelief. "Now that's even weirder. How come you know it's a nightmare when you don't even remember?"

Okay. Maybe I was too obvious? Or can it be double-taped with another white lie?

I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because I woke up catching my breath? That's why I thought it was a nightmare," I answered.

She shrugged, too. Felt convince, she pulled me and started walking to school.

While on the way, we suddenly came to a stop as clear voices preoccupied us. It was like a fight. Some sound of smashed plates and overthrown chairs and stuff dominated those voices that startled us.

Wednesday suddenly widened her eyes and I think we have the same idea on our minds. She suddenly clasped my hand with her as it became colder. Maybe she's nervous. We're both immovable, fright was registered in our eyes.

A boy same age as we came out from the door where we heard the noise. It was Jermaine.

Wednesday suddenly pulled me and we hid behind the trash barrels in front of the house we had stopped by.

"Fine! Who cares about Japan anyway? Leave me for all I care!" Jermaine shouted at the door as he started prancing on the street.

"You're just like your worthless father!" a woman who was probably his mother slammed the door.

Both Wedne and I looked so shocked that I can't even ingest the lump in my throat. I'm getting nervous.

When it occurred to us that we're almost late for school, we hurriedly took off, and who knows we might not be spared for being late just because we stopped by eavesdropping on a family affair.

Shame on us.

The whole time, Wednesday was silent and dull. I knew she was thinking of what had happened this morning. I began to realize... How could she forget about it? To all of the people she knew, I was the only one to know all of her secrets. And Jermaine was one of her secrets.

Wedne has feelings for Jermaine, that's the reason. I never knew about him because his family was too rigidly isolated, the right reason for it probably is that they're new in Saint Claire. They rarely go out and mingle with neighbors, as if their family is so mysterious to the point that it creeps me.

Maybe, Wednesday and I have the same problems. Knowing her, she never fails to listen to all my sentiments. She even supported me with my feelings for Rex. But she knows me more than anyone else--that I'm not going to entertain this stupid feeling. Like me, she wishes for her feelings to be nourished, but she ended up failing herself.

She bowed her head and a tear fell from her eyes. "I guess I'm stupid to think that he will actually forget about what happened in Japan and that he'll actually look at me. But I guess I'm wrong. He's in pain, Clan! And I hate myself for always watching him in pain whenever he throws back again. I wanted to wipe his tears but I couldn't. I feel like I don't have the right to do it so I just watch him from afar." She whimpered and wiped the tears staining her beautiful face.

I did not utter a word and just listened to her.

She's right. People don't have a choice but to watch the one they love from afar even if they wanted to embrace them. But they knew well that they have someone who will make them feel more special than what they had in mind. Someone more deserving than them.

****

Dear Diary,

Today, I told myself that I will change. But I can't control situations. It must be because I tripped off at the entrance and met a jerk there?

He is Alden Joe, one of the newbies in our school and unfortunately, he's in our class.

-Clan

I knew I was just right on time when I got to school. Well not totally INSIDE, but outside facing the huge entrance gate of SCA (Saint Claire Academy), when suddenly I tripped off and almost fell. When I turned around, I saw a boy with his eyes narrowed at me. He wore our school uniform and he's unfamiliar.

"What are you, blind?! You stepped on my shoe! Has anyone told you how expensive these shoes are?! Stupid schoolmate!"

What the--did he just call me "Stupid Schoolmate?!"

I tried to calm myself because, in the first place, I was to blame for his sudden actions. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--"

"Sorry? All you can say is just sorry? If you're late, it doesn't mean you don't care if you step on someone!" he shouted at me and the longer we stayed there, the many people were there to gossip and to eavesdrop on our commotion.

I'm hardly breathing. I've never been surrounded by many people before. It's traumatic, too frightening to even move my muscles.

"N-no. I uh..." I heard so many noises and felt like I'm going to puke. I'm getting nausea, couldn't look at anyone's eyes. I don't want to get bullied again.

I closed my eyes, wishing this was just one of my nightmares. But that's impossible. I only have the same nightmare repeating every night that I sleep.

Suddenly, I was dragged out there and when I opened my eyes, Rex was running. His hand dragging me out of the commotion and lead me to the canteen. There's no student here for the products were unavailable at that moment.

I looked at his flushed face and suddenly threw my arms around him, crying.

He was caressing my back to comfort me and whispered. "Hush now, Clan. Don't cry. I'm here now." He suddenly planted a small kiss on my forehead as I buried my face on his chest and smelled his usual boyish cologne. The scent I wanted to smell when I have to wake up somehow beside him.

When I stopped crying, he motioned me to sit on one of the empty chairs, and the whole moment we were just silent.

If you could get the picture, yeah we skipped English class today, and because of that so-full-of-himself guy, I wouldn't be so frustrated. I'm just thankful that Rex was there to rescue me--like he always does when I'm in trouble. I feel a little guilty for being such a pain to him. I'm too fragile and I can't even move to protect myself, that's all I feel.

"Are you okay now?" Rex suddenly asked as he moved closer to me. "The next subject is about to start. Can you walk?"

I looked at him in disbelief. "Of course I can! I'm not injured." I never meant to be sarcastic but I guess my expression betrayed me. Being bitter isn't easy.

"Umm... Sorry. I mean, you need a little rest and you can go out. Mom's at home and it'll be safer if you go there...if you're feeling down," he said, not sure of what to say.

It had occurred to me how I've overreacted. I just lowered my gaze. "I'm sorry. It's nothing. I can manage. I'll be attending class, I promise," I reassured as a little smile curved my lips.

He smiled and tapped my head. "Forget what he told you, Clan. He's probably irritated," he suddenly said.

"What?"

"That guy back there..." he added.

I just shrugged and got to my feet and we headed back to the classroom only to find out that the jerk guy was there, too.

I suddenly stopped and Rex must've noticed, "W-what's he doing here?" I asked, annoyed.

"Oh, you mean that guy? He's our new classmate." That statement suddenly made hard pounds on my head.

Dear Diary,

I totally hated this day.

-Clan

As the classes go on, it gets harder for me because I'm uncomfortable with all the gossips about this new guy in our class. Girls would always laugh spontaneously and it's obvious that they wanted to catch the guy's attention.

I just shook my head and accidentally met his gaze. We froze and no one's pulling out. I stared at him meanly and if possible, I hope he'd be dead by just the stare I was giving him. But he just smirked, half-amused. Unlike earlier, his eyes were cooled down and not measuring.

Not long enough, I held back my gaze and made myself busy writing something resourceful in my notebook.

Suddenly a shadow was approaching my direction and it stopped right in front of me. I slowly moved my head and saw that guy.

He motioned his hand to mine and said, "Hi. I'm Joe...and you are...?"

I stared at his casual face and back to his hand, and finally decided to ignore him. Just like that.

"Ooo-kay... Well, I bet your name is Clarrianne Angelica? Hmmm... Nice name," he said full of admiration. I looked at him again with my accusing eyes. "Woah! Let me guess..." he interrupted as I was about to say something. "You're going to ask me why I knew your name, right?"

Am I that transparent?

I just stared at him in disbelief. He then pointed something on my chest. I looked down and realized that he read it on my I.D.

"Look..." He set his gaze down on the floor, stuttering. "I-uh... I'm here to apologize for what happened earlier," he said.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes and jotted back on my notebook.

"Look, I was pissed, okay? I know it's so stupid of me to scowl at you back there but please... I want to make friends with you. Let's make a fresh start...?" he said indifferently and that made me looked back at him.

His eyes were pleading but there's this mockery lingering in his presence. The thought of him back at the entrance only makes me hate him every single minute.

Had he lost his mind?! He can't just show up and say those words after what he's done! He can't possibly be serious!

I suddenly stood up, anger in my eyes, and dumped him a paper I was writing on and said, "No!"

That statement is enough to make him feel astonished, saw his eyes widened. The bell rang for recess, and it's a perfect time to escape, so I headed down to the canteen.