Sara
Tonight was decidedly the worst night of my life. The shock had worn off quickly; here I had confirmation of something I'd suspected long ago–that Jaxson had underworld connections. Scratch that. He was apparently the boss, in charge of all these men who had been harassing my dad–deservedly, of course–the people he owed money to.
That shock was replaced with searing anger. I'd just talked to Jaxson moments ago, and he'd been so kind, protective… and now he was happy to own me like a dog.
Few things felt worse than being treated like property, and having Jaxson be the one to treat me like this hurt even more.
I was sitting in the back of Ivan's car, doing my best to ignore Jaxon—which was hard seeing as he was sitting right next to me.
“You can't give me the silent treatment forever, Sara," he said.
I grunted, turning my face toward the window to hide the tears of anger. I felt sick to my stomach.
It was official. There wasn't a man in my life who had respect for me.
Even through the anger and the pain, my close proximity to Jaxson stirred my senses. His deep, sexy voice made me quiver, and his warm breath reaching the back of my neck made me shiver. I hated myself just a little bit when I felt myself get hot and bothered by him, especially right then.
Maybe he had the same idea; is that why Jaxon agreed to my dad's stupid offer? Now that he owned me, was he going to ask for 'those' types of services?
The idea of it was… no! He just bought me like I was something to be owned. It didn't matter how handsome he was or how much I wanted him.
Still, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if he touched me.
Not like this though. Definitely not like this.
“We're here. Go get your things," Jaxon told me, and I couldn't help but scoff, even as I got out, slamming the door behind me as I stomped toward the house, angrily jamming the keys into the lock.
A glance behind me showed Ivan and the boys waiting to be let in.
“I've got it. I don't need any help," I spit out.
“Boss's orders, Sara," Ivan told me, and I took a breath, trying not to lose it. No, that was the last thing I wanted to do at the moment.
Things were terrible as they were; I wasn't about to make it worse for myself. Still… I'd always been stubborn.
“Well, tell Jaxon I've got it… there's not much to pack." With that, I made my way into the house and tried to shut the door behind them. I didn't look behind me, but I was sure they'd held it open.
I looked around at the building that had been my home ever since I was a baby. I'd been sure for a long time that I'd leave when I finally had enough money saved, but there was something so wrong about how I was being forced out of it.
I eyed the family photo that was sitting on the fireplace mantle, and it reminded me of happier days, days that were long gone.
I still loved my dad—or at least loved who he used to be: the man who'd lift me up high in the air and put me on his shoulders to see the world, who'd sneak candy to me after dinner when Mom said no dessert, who'd give me piggyback rides up the stairs and have tea parties with my dolls.
I ripped the photo off the mantle and made my way to my room, picking up my envelopes full of money, or what was left of the money, dully wondering how my dad had sold me for twenty thousand dollars. Is that what a daughter is worth?
I hadn't saved anywhere close to that much money. The crazy part is that I knew it was pocket change compared to what Jaxon made at the publishing house. Why the hell would Jackson take the deal?
For a moment, I entertained the idea of running away, slipping out the window and making a break for it, starting a new life somewhere else, leaving Dad, Jaxon, and all this bullsh*t behind me.
Only for a moment, though.
Only fools ran, especially from Jaxon Deverioux, who apparently is the boss of the underworld or something. I might've been upset, but I wasn't stupid, even though right then I felt like the dumbest person alive for being in a situation like this.
So, I gritted my teeth and pulled out the old, beat-up duffle bag from the closet, shoving some clothes in, a few pairs of shoes, the photo from the fireplace, and the few items I had that Dad hadn't stolen or pawned off–yet: my mother's old jewelry, and a photo book from when I was a kid. Maybe someday I'll be able to stand looking at it.
“Is that everything?" came a deep, familiar voice from behind me.
I stiffened as Jaxon came into my room, leaning against the doorframe, just watching me, making me feel cornered and trapped in my own room.
“Everything that hasn't been sold or pawned off, if that's what you're asking. I said it wouldn't take long," I said, then paused and looked him straight in the eye. “Why did you accept the deal?"
I knew Jaxon was kind to me, good to me—hell, maybe even too good, offering his help, his sympathy. While I had always denied the help, he had never stopped offering.
Somehow, in a strange, possibly delusional way, despite how angry, afraid, and disgusted I was, this felt like a particularly twisted attempt at sympathy, no matter how it was being forced on me.
I needed to know what he was thinking.
“I wasn't going to, but better me than anyone else in this town. What, you don't agree?" he asked, shrugging casually as if he hadn't just bought me like one would simply buy that bag of chips they don't really need.
“I would've preferred no one," I spat back, my brow furrowed.
“Sorry. That wasn't an option," he said, shifting his body in the door frame.
“You don't sound too sorry," I gritted out, my grip tightening on the straps of my duffle bag.
“I did it to protect you," he insisted, meeting my gaze. Those eyes....
I shook off the attraction and focused on my anger. “Great. You've protected me then. Congratulations. Now let me go," I said, shifting my eyes away from his.
“What, and let you go back to your father? Back to before?" Jaxon demanded, pushing off the wall and prowling toward me; unconsciously, I took a step back. “Do you really want to keep killing yourself with three jobs struggling to make ends meet?"
“I was fine—I am fine." My back hit the wall and my breath caught as Jaxon slammed a hand next to my head, caging me in and making my heart pound. “I'm not yours. I'm not anyone's!" I insisted.
“Maybe not. But I own you now, so that doesn't matter," he replied coldly.
I glared at him again, unable to believe the words coming out of his mouth. “Let me go, Jaxon."
I was shaking, even as I met his gaze head-on, refusing to back down now. He towered over me, and Jaxon might've cared about me, but there was no way I was strong enough to stop him from doing anything he wanted. The way he'd said that he owned me, I still couldn't help but wonder if he had something else in mind....
“You know I can't do that." Wouldn't do that, he meant. “I'm trying to protect you," he insisted.
“By putting me in a cage, you mean?" I countered, shifting my weight to the other foot.
He owned me. Like a f*cking parakeet.
“You have been in a cage all your life, Sara. You just didn't realize it. A cage your father built for you with his selfishness."
He placed his hand on my shoulder, gently thumbing my collarbone and making me shiver at the hot touch. He slid his hand up, ghosting along my pulse before cupping my cheek like I was precious.
The most precious thing he owned.
How I burned with both anger and lust—the stupidest combination in the world in my opinion because despite everything, despite how I should feel, it wasn't easy to stop wanting someone you had wanted for years, not when Jaxon did stuff like this that made me weak in the knees, questioning if he was telling the truth about the reasons why he saved me.
And that was the worst part about all these touches that felt like something more, like he actually wanted me, and it wasn't just some fantasy in my head.
He could've just asked, but no, he wasn't doing it that way.
I wet my lips and his eyes glanced down. For a moment, our faces nearly touched, and I could feel his hot breath on me. My heart skipped a few beats as the moment passed.
But instead of touching me again, he grabbed my duffle bag, slinging it over his own shoulder and turning away from me.
“It's getting late, Sara, and I'd like for you to settle in sometime tonight." Jaxon spun around, leaving me there to catch my breath, not bothering to look to see whether I was following him.
I supposed he didn't have to with the way things were now.
It wasn't like I had a choice. If he was ordering around all these hardcore members of the underworld, he had to be the top boss, and very well connected. The whole town was probably in Jaxon's back pocket; it probably all belonged to him. I imagined he was beloved by the people and feared by the underground.
Even if I ran to a different state, he could find me—if I could even get out of his house when Ivan and his boys were on guard duty.
D*mn him. Just—d*mn him!
I hated him—I hated him so much right now. Even worse, now I was horny and p*ssed. I knew better than this, didn't I?
It never went anywhere with Jaxon; I'd never taken it anywhere and neither did he. That's how it was… and that's how it was going to be.
We'd both had too much respect for my father… until now.
After a moment, taking the time to straighten myself out, I made my way out of my room, silently sliding into the car, once more refusing to even look, let alone speak, with Jaxon as we pulled away from my house, leaving it all behind.