The Penniless Peer

Chapter One 1817-3

“Are you suggesting I should steal?” Lord Corbury asked in a voice of thunder.

“I am suggesting that you should take from the rich and give to the poor,” Fenella retorted.

“I have never heard such a ridiculous idea in the whole of my life!” Lord Corbury exclaimed. “You do not suppose I would stoop to being a thief, do you?”

“Well, if you will not do so, Simon will remain in the clutches of this monster,” Fenella said, “and Joe Jarvis is in such depths of despair that he just drinks away every penny he earns while he ruminates over the manner that he has been treated.”

“I should have thought he could do something better than that,” Lord Corbury remarked.

“What can he do?” Fenella enquired. “There was no witness present in the room when Mrs. Jarvis handed over the money, only we all know in the village how hard she worked, and how she saved every penny for her Joe. We also know that she certainly would not have wanted her brother-in-law, whom she hardly knew, to sell ‘The Green Man’ and put the money in his pocket.”

“Perhaps I could speak to a lawyer on young Jarvis’s behalf,” Lord Corbury suggested.

“And how will you pay him?” Fenella enquired.

Lord Corbury made an impatient exclamation and walked towards the window.

“I must say, Periquine, I think you have grown very old,” a soft voice said behind him.

“What do you mean by that?” he demanded.

“We used to do some daring things together,” Fenella answered. “Do you remember when we stole all the prize peaches from the Lord Lieutenant’s green-house because his gardener was so offensive to all the poorer people who entered for the Flower Show and made certain they never had a chance of winning anything? We ate some of the peaches and threw the rest in the lake. No-one ever discovered who the thieves were.”

“We were young then,” Lord Corbury said.

“And another time you took your father’s horses without his knowledge and we drove to a Mill on the Downs. It was one of the most wonderful days I have ever spent in my whole life, Periquine. Do you remember how exciting it was?”

“It was indeed,” he answered. “Thirty-eight rounds and both bruisers so exhausted at the end they could hardly strike at each other.”

“We drove the horses home,” Fenella said, “and because old Sam the groom was fond of us he never gave us away. I remember when your father asked what we had been doing, you said we had been fishing. At least you were not afraid in those days.”

“Damn you, I am not afraid! But stealing is just not the sort of thing a gentleman does.”

“It is not much use being a gentleman with only pride in your pocket,” Fenella said.

“It is the only thing left for me,” Lord Corbury said bitterly.

“Well, it will not get you very far with Hetty,” Fenella said. “It is not only Sir Virgil who is ambitious.”

Lord Corbury turned round angrily from the window.

“You will not say anything against Hetty. She is perfect! The most beautiful, the most wonderful, the most adorable creature on whom any man has ever set eyes. I have known a lot of women since I have been away, Fenella, but there has never been anyone as beautiful as Hetty.”

“Yes she is very — beautiful,” Fenella agreed with a little sigh on the words.

“You would not be bad-looking, Fenella, if you took a little more trouble with yourself,” Lord Corbury said with the critical familiarity of a brother. “Why do you not get yourself a new gown and take more trouble over your hair.”

“A new gown!” Fenella laughed. “You seem to have forgotten my condition is very much the same as yours.”

“I am quite certain your father is not bankrupt,” Lord Corbury retorted.

“Oh, he is not bankrupt,” Fenella answered, “but he has no money to spend on frills and furbelows for his daughter. He is intent at the moment on buying a first edition of Milton’s ‘Paradise Lost’. Three months ago it was a first edition of Francis Bacon and the month before that a very expensive volume of Alexander Pope.”

“But if you are eighteen, surely your mother wants you to meet people and go out into society.”

“Mama!”

Fenella threw up her hands.

“You have been away a long time, Periquine. You know Mama is only interested in her garden. She is buying some special lilies from China. The Azaleas which arrived last week from India cost an absolute fortune. Papa and Mama still behave as they did when I was a child - as if I did not exist. When they remember I am there, they send me on an errand.”

“Poor Fenella, it was always the same, was it not?” Lord Corbury said.

He moved beside her, put his arm round her shoulder and gave her an affectionate hug.

“Well, we seem to be in the same plight!” he said. “Which, if you think about it, is nothing new.”

“We used to manage to have some fun all the same,” Fenella said softly.

“We will have some more in the future,” Lord Corbury promised.

There was a silence while he was still holding Fenella close against him.

“Mrs. Buckle has not had any wages for nine months,” Fenella said quietly, “and she told me to ask you for something with which to pay the trades-people. Since the gamekeepers all left, there have not been any rabbits or pigeons off the estate, although of course you can go out and shoot some.”

“If I can afford the cartridges,” Lord Corbury said bitterly.

He released Fenella and then stood staring down at her.

“How much risk is there in taking this money you were talking about?” he asked.

Fenella gave a little cry of delight.

“You will do it? Oh, Periquine, I knew you would! Even if there is not a penny over for yourself, you will be able to help Joe and Simon, and perhaps there will be enough to pay Mrs. Buckle and old Headstone, the butcher. He told me to tell you he would be deeply obliged for even a little towards his account.”

“Curse you, it is crazy!” Lord Corbury said. “But it does not appear as if I have much alternative. Is there anything in the house left to sell, Fenella?”

“Not unless you sell the beds,” she said, “and they will not fetch much. The hangings are all moth-eaten and every blanket is full of holes, as I found when I helped Mrs. Buckle make your bed.”

“You knew I was coming?” Lord Corbury asked sharply.

“I knew you would come soon after Mr. Swayer had seen you. He came down last week and had a look round.”

Lord Corbury was silent for a moment, and then he said,

“Well if I have to be hanged, I may as well make it worth their while. When do we start on this crazy robbery of yours?”

“Isaac Goldstein went away to-day,” Fenella answered. “That means that he is very unlikely to return before the day after tomorrow. It would be safest if we went tomorrow.”

“You had it all planned out for me, did you not?” Lord Corbury said accusingly.

“No, I swear to you I only thought of it at this moment,” Fenella answered. “And you know quite well I did not expect you home quite so soon, or I should not have had to hide in the Priest’s Hole when Hetty arrived.”

Lord Corbury looked at her searchingly to see if she was telling the truth.

“If I thought this was one of your plots to get me into trouble, Fenella -” he began.

“No, Periquine, no!” she interrupted. “You know I do not wish you to get into trouble. That anyway is a most unfair thing to say, because in the past half the time I took the blame for your misdeeds. What about when your cricket-ball went through the Church window? You would not own up because you said your father would have you flogged at Eton for it.”

“Good Lord, what a memory you have!” Lord Corbury said. “That was years ago.”

“I have not forgotten anything,” Fenella said, “and I have been hoping that when you came back it would be just like old times.”

“At least in those days I had a father who paid for things,” Lord Corbury said. “Now I have to find the money myself.”

“And you will find it — I know you will!” Fenella cried enthusiastically. “You have always been clever, Periquine, you always had a quick brain. Look how well you did at school! And the Duke of Wellington said you were one of the best Captains he ever had under his command.”

“Fat lot of use it is now!” Lord Corbury said disagreeably.

“I think you are being unduly despondent,” Fenella said. “You will think of something brilliant sooner or later. Meanwhile let us collect a little money. You could call it a — fund for — Hetty if you — like.”

She spoke the last words hesitatingly and she saw Lord Corbury’s eyes light up.

“That is a good ideas Fenella,” he said. “I will collect money somehow, even by the most nefarious means, and when I have enough I can go to Sir Virgil and ask him for Hetty’s hand. It will not seem so reprehensible if I am doing it so that I can marry her.”

“No of course it will not,” Fenella agreed, “and you do — love her — very very — much — do you not?”

“You know I do,” Lord Corbury said. “And if it means I can marry her, I swear to you, Fenella, I shall not quibble at robbing the Bank of England!”

“Then you must indeed — love her,” Fenella said in a very small voice.