The Long Lost Daughter

7 Goodbyes

My belated birthday celebration ended up not actually being too bad and provided a much needed distraction from everything going on in my head. When Ashley and Josh left I was looking forward to finally getting to talk to Rae. As she walked them out to their car I curled up on the couch and mentally prepared for the conversation we were going to have. 

When Rae walked back in through her face fell a little bit seeing me waiting, knowing the conversation we were going to have. She looked like she was not ready to have this conversation, but I was more than ready. 

“I assume you are ready to talk now” Rae says as she sits down on the couch next to me. 

“Yes I am” and I truly mean it. I am in a much better place about the whole situation, especially after talking to my wolf today. I still feel like there is so much I do not know and am confused about. 

“So what do you want to know?” She asks. 

“Why did you keep all of this from me?” I ask in return. 

“The short answer? Your Dad asked me to.”

“But why trust him? He was the one who left me. He was the one who forced you to take me in. Did you not question it? Did it not bother you?" 

“I trusted your Dad. The day he left I could tell he didn’t want to leave. He never told me why he had to leave. He took me to the back yard and showed me what he was. He shifted right in front of me. It was the only way for me to truly understand what was happening. I was terrified. I knew your father would never hurt me. But a wolf, how was I supposed to trust that.”

She paused for a moment to make sure I was following along. I give her a nod to signal to her that I do understand what she is saying as she continues.

“He said he had a duty to leave but he couldn’t take you. If he did he did not know if he could protect you. Your father has always been a very protective man. We met in college before your Dad met your Mom. He would always fight off any man who made me feel uncomfortable. He must be the reason I never had a boyfriend in college" she says with a chuckle. I have not heard a lot about my Dad and Rae's past, so I loved hearing this.  

She continues by saying, "Though we did not always see each other, we talked almost every day after graduation. When your Mom passed, you guys moved by me in Texas. You were only a one year old at the time. I have known you all your life, I would do anything for you. 

There was never a doubt in my mind that I was to be the one to take care of you. I knew you were a wolf after your Dad left, yes but I had no knowledge to even help you through the realization. I have no idea what it means to be a werewolf. I am sorry that I did not tell you sooner, but if I did all it would do is provide you with more confusion.”

I understand where Rae is coming from. I understand why she took me in. She truly loves me and cares for me, but there was still one more question I had to ask. 

“Why didn’t you tell me he was still alive?” I ask. 

This is the question that keeps coming up in my mind. Why didn't she tell me he was still out there? She watched me hurt and even helped me search for him and she never said anything. Rae saw me go through my depression and saw the hurt I endured everyday and she said nothing about my Dad still being alive.

“I didn’t tell you he could still be out there because truthfully I didn’t know if he was alive. When that letter arrived on Monday I was shocked, it meant that he was still indeed alive. That was the only thing I have ever received from him. All it came with was another note instructing me to wait to give it to you on your birthday. I was hoping it would have the knowledge I knew I would never be able to give you" she tells me honestly. 

I am at a loss for words. He is alive, he remembered my birthday was this week. The anger comes rushing back because it feels like he is close, but yet so far. The letter did not have a return address so it is not like I can ever write back.  

Aunt Rae breaks the silence by adding, “Don’t be mad at your Dad I know he wishes he was with you.”

“But he is not. He left me" I begin to truly break down. All of the anger and frustration I have been feeling comes flowing out of my mouth. "I have to live in this world and am forced to hide who I truly am. I was never given the choice to know who I am or where I got to grow up. I was never given the choice to chose what I could handle. What if I can protect myself? If I got to grow up around other wolves, maybe I would have known more about his part of myself. Living like this is not what I would have chosen for myself."

I continue by asking “Why have you kept me around knowing what I am? Why buy me the car? Why help me with the money to move to California? You could have used that money when you were really hurting.” 

“First of all, you know I did not need the help of a man to help me get by. Why do you think it took me so long to find a man? I did not need your Dad's money to make ends meet. I am a successful business woman you know" she says nudging my shoulder a little with a laugh. "I may say I trust and love your Dad my dear but that does not mean he is smart. I knew he was going to leave one way or another and I was the one who volunteered. I wanted to know where you ended up, I wanted you in my life. I chose this. I chose this because I also love you my dear."

Tears well up in her eyes as she looks deeply into mine which are starting to well with their own tears. She grabs both of my hands and uses her thumbs to rub the back of my hands. This woman is heaven sent, she knows exactly what I need to hear. 

“I knew you deserved a better life. Last year when you made up your mind to go to University of California, I was so happy that I made that decision to keep the money. That money is yours to start your life. I want you to get out there and take control of your life. I just want to help you do that” Rae continues. 

Aunt Rae wraps me in a hug as I begin to feel the tears fall down my face. She continues by saying “When you leave on Sunday, remember that this is your life to live. Don't let anything get in the way of you and your dreams.”

She releases me from her hug and wipes the tears from my cheeks. Rae can tell I am at a loss for words so she continues by saying “Your life is in your hands now you go live it my dear.”

I have no was to respond to this amazing woman. I just wrap her up in a hug and for the first time I hear Ruby purr in appreciation. Even she can feel that I am at peace for the first time since I turned 18. I also can't remember the last time I had so many hugs in one day. Despite that, I have a smile that reaches ear to ear. Through the mess, I am choosing to be happy. 

We remain cuddled on the couch until it is time for us to head up to bed. I head upstairs put on my pajamas and fall asleep with ease again. Even my mind is able to relax now. I have realized so much about my life in the last two days and now all I can think about is getting out there and living it.

I actually get to attend the last day of school on Thursday and Friday was our graduation. I sat next to Ashley during the graduation ceremony. Looking up in the stands her Dad was there surrounded by all of her aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. Right next to them was my Aunt Rae and I was content with all I had. I did not need a bunch of family to make me feel loved, she was all I needed. She was the one who has walked with me very step of the way for the last four years and for that I will forever be grateful.

Saturday we spent most of the day at the party Josh was throwing for Ashley's graduation. I hate to admit it but I actually had a good time. I hung out with Rae a majority of the time, but there were a few kids I knew from school that I chatted with. Mostly about where we were all attending school next year. They were impressed with my college and that I would be moving tomorrow. 

The rest of the day Aunt Rae and I spent the day finishing up my packing and enjoying my left over birthday cake watching the Twilight movies again. Which I was happy to say that knowing I was a werewolf did not affect my love of this movie. I never thought any part of these movies could be even close to being real. It is almost funny to watch knowing my life has become even some what close to what happens in these movies. 

Early Sunday morning we loaded up my little Prius with what little stuff I had and I said my goodbyes. Josh and Ashley came by and I made both of them promise to take care of my Aunty Rae. Ashley made me promise to call her at least twice a week. 

I said my good bye to my Aunt. Her cheeks were stained with tears and we just hugged for what felt like forever. I promised to call her all of the time and to let her know when I made it. 

As I watch the life I had known disappear in the rear view mirror I knew I was in for a journey. Even if it was a rough one I knew that I would be living the life I want. This is what I have wanted for myself all along and no werewolf or person was going to get in my way.