Solar Eclipse - Book 5

Chapter 2

The next morning I was awaken by the beautiful Alaskan sunlight breaking through my floor length powder blue curtains. Yawning I rose from my bed and went out to my balcony. Sitting out near the edge facing the creek bed below was a wicker table and matching chairs.

Walking to the edge of the balcony I rested my hands on the wooden railing that ran along the edge and looked out over our beautiful backyard forest.

A light breeze began to blow, causing my curls to wisp about tickling my face. Then the sun broke through the clouds and beamed down upon me giving me a relaxing massage from the rays sun.

Closing my eyes I tilted my face up to catch some more warmth.

Then his hands were around my waist pulling me to him. It was such an innocent move on me that for the first time that he did this I willingly melted against him.

The feel of me in his arms, his arms around me, his breath at my neck. I loved and welcomed it all with a large grin.

"Someone is happy." He crooned in my ear before pressing a kiss to my cheek.

Without a word I spun around to face him. I felt my face blush incredibly as I looked into his beautiful eyes.

"I am happy. Here, with you right now." My smile was ear to ear as I leaned into him.

As my ear pressed into his chest I hear his heart palpitate before it regulated itself. Then he wrapped his arms around me and held me.

"That's all I ever wanted from you Renesmee. I want you to be happy, you don't have to ever feel afraid to be happy because I will do anything and everything for you." He leant slightly back and tilted my face upwards to meet his. With one hand he stroked my hair behind my ear and cupped my jaw. With his thumb he brushed along my bottom lip before he bent down and matched his to my own.

I don't know what had gotten into me but suddenly I was pressing my body against his aching for more of whatever I was feeling. I began kissing him back hungrily. My lips moved against his and then his tongue brushed against my lip causing me to gasp.

It was like butterflies had erupted inside my stomach, fluttering every which way.

"Wait!" Nic gasped as he pulled his lips away from mine and took a large step back.

I looked at him, confused. "What's wrong?" I asked, my mind raced a million miles an hour trying to understand why he stopped. It felt so good. Didn't he feel the same?

"Nothing is wrong." He said as he stuck his hands deep into his pockets. "It's just that I know if I was to continue kissing you like we were I would loose control and I don't want to take away your virtue. Not like this."

"My virtue?" I questioned.

He sighed, bringing his hand across his forehead. "I want to have you in everyway possible but before that can happen I have one condition."

I watched his brow furrow and his forehead crease slightly.

"What... condition."

For some reason I felt as if this answer was one I didn't want to hear.

"I want you to marry me, Renesmee." The corner of his mouth quirked up slightly as he held out his hand towards me as if he was waiting for me to take it. "I know you aren't ready so I will wait as long as it takes." he added.

I stared at his hand for several human minutes. The longer I stared the more it seemed to glow, as if it was speaking to me, telling me it was okay and this was the right thing to do.

When I looked up at him it was like there was a burning desire behind his eyes. It wasn't a scary inferno but a comforting warm that lit them.

Then I closed my eyes.

What was my reason behind telling him no?

I search my mind and sifted through every thought and memory I had and I realized I had no legitimate reason to do so.

Ever since I was with him my world seemed happier, better, complete. He made me feel safe, loved and treated me so well. He understood me and my parents loved him. And so did I.

Sure enough I was afraid of getting married only because I feared having s*x. Then again I only felt scared to have s*x because I didn't want to get pregnant. And that fear was because of what I put my mother through. I had almost killed her.

Even still that fear was ridiculous.

When I opened my eyes he was still staring at me waiting for my reaction.

But I couldn't say yes, at least not now. The timing felt all wrong.

I cleared the space between us and wrapped my arms around him before resting my head back against his chest. "I love you more than I can understand but right now it just seems like the wrong time."

Very slowly I felt his arms embrace me gently. "I will wait for as long as you need Renesmee. If one hundred years are needed then I will wait. If a thousand are needed I will be patient, though with much difficulty." He added with a snicker.

I let out a breath of relief as I knew he understood my reasoning. "I don't think it will take a thousand yes Nic, or even a hundred. Maybe one year though but not one hundred." I ran my hands gently up his spine before running my fingers through his beautiful, soft hair. "Just don't give up on me." I murmured.

He tilted my chin to gain access to my lips where he gently and carefully pressed a quick kiss. Then he pulled me back to his chest before releasing me. "I'm never going to give up on you. You are mine."

I felt my face blush.

"So I was thinking after our classes end tomorrow that you and I go out to dinner on a date." He asked.

Classes tomorrow?

"Uh tomorrow is Sunday."

Nic quickly shook his head. "Yesterday was Saturday, we left late Thursday night and arrived here Saturday evening, you slept through the entirety of Friday love."

I searched my mind for any memory I had that would prove this his statement untrue but I got none. Even so I could recall waking up extra refreshed than I normally was with a normal nights sleep but that proved nothing.

Sighing he pulled out his phone and clicked into the calendar and there it was. Right before my face was the date and it was indeed Sunday morning.

"Wow."

"Yeah, it was a pretty lonely drive, no one to talk to." He chuckled.

"So class tomorrow..."

He nodded his head. "I'm not sure if you noticed but everything that is needed is in our closet. Book bag, laptop, books, study guide, uniform, etc."

"Yeah I haven't had a chance to explore much except what I saw yesterday." I admitted.

Then his hand was at my jaw line brushing ever so gently, sending an electric current racing through my body. "I love you." I spoke quickly before I could filter my words.

"I love you too. So much Renesmee Carlie Cullen." He groaned before pulling me into his arms again. "If I ever lost you..." He didn't even finish his sentence.

From my peripheral vision I could see pain in his face as if he was imagining a eternity without me. It made my heart ache to see that expression on his face and I knew because of my perfect memory I would always remember this look.

I brought my hand to his face and cradled it like he did mine. "You don't ever have to worry about a life without me Nicholi because I will never leave you. I'll never leave you and that I promise."

The angst expression on his face relaxed slightly but it was still there in miniscule.

"I promise." I repeated once more to reassure him of my commitment. "I know I have yet to agree to becoming your wife but in good time it will happen. Just don't think of me in such ways of me leaving you because I can't go a day without you."

Silently he gently maneuvered from my clutch and took my hand into his before he led me into the house. I followed him through my bedroom, into the hall and down the stairs to the lowest floor where he pulled me into the music room with my piano.

Leading me to the center of the room he moved me to sit on the piano bench before he took a seat beside me.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked him.

I half expected him to play me a song or show me some more of his music but he made no move to do any such thing, he just stared at me.

"I've noticed, but maybe its just my imagination, that you are more relaxed around a piano."

Though I've never took the time to connect those simple dots I realized that this was true.

"I was hoping to delve deeply into your mind and I currently have high hopes that this piano in your presence will help you to be serene enough to allow me to."

I looked at him, my mouth slightly agape from confusion, and just gave a slow nod.

"On several occasions I've brought up our future and you seemed desperate to change the subject."

I slowly shook my head. "I don't know what you are trying to get at." I whispered. Sure enough my blushing followed.

"I don't want you to think that I may be attempting to persuade you into changing your mind when I mention this but I'm just curious what makes you so afraid of the future."

"But I'm not." I said as even toned as possible.

"I may be mistaken, correct me if I am, but whenever I mention something that has to do with change or the future whether it involved the idea of marriage or a family your eyes seem to light up with fear."

He was right and I couldn't deny that nor could I lie to him to try and persuade him otherwise. But I didn't know how to explain it either, the only thing I could do was show him my memories and hope that he understood without further explanation.

I allowed myself to make eye contact before I slowly lifted my hand to meet his face and then I focused on the memories I wanted him to see.

The first was the day I was born. My mother's face was sunken with the havoc I had unintentionally wreaked on her body. She called me beautiful and held me for two seconds before my father took me back into his arms. Then she died. Luckily my father was able to change her in time.

The second memory was of my father and I playing the piano. He had just taught me a song and I was performing it for my entire family who all had smiles on their face. Then my aunt Alice had a vision, the Volturi were coming for us all.

Next was the Volturi leaving us at peace after they had come to kill us. Luckily my aunt Alice showed up at the last moment to save us all.

Then came the day I got to meet my grandma Renee, she soon died just under a month later so my cousins could live.

Fast forwarding through my memories I showed him the day we moved and how we all hoped everything would work out for our family. It did for a while until the Volturi paid another visit and the war between them and our family was back on.

I paused to think of the next memories I wanted to show him and decided to skip over the night I thought everyone had left me and ended up at my grandpa Charlie's. I also skipped over Jennifer joining the family.

Flitting quickly through the next set I stopped at the memory of my parents leaving me on Isle Esme so I could be safe while they fought with the Volturi. The memory continued on to me dying and being reborn in my mature body.

Then I was at the battle scene where Jacob and my aunt Rose and uncle Jasper died along with several of my family friends. I made sure he saw where I was sacrificing myself only to have Zelda use her gift to turn back time.

The Volturi once again left us in peace and we moved back to Forks temporarily only to move to the Lake House. I showed him the memory of me making friends with Tyler only to meet his father who attacked me and the gut wrenching memories of Gregory.

He flinched uncomfortably at those.

My next memories were of me leaving my family to go to Seattle with Jake as my 'body guard' appointed by my father. I slowly played meeting the Volturi unexpectedly in the ally and Jane torturing me not just once but twice before she turned on Jake when we were back in the room.

Skipping ahead to the end I showed the memories of Sili coming and turning Jake into a vampire so we would be safe from the Volturi, those from when we visited Volterra and me having to be scraped and cut and sliced by my aunt in order to secure the believability of the faux deaths of Jamie and Tyler.

Slowly I pulled back my hand and looked him in the face. Taking my hands into his own he looked me in the eyes.

"I understand now. Every time you seemed to be at a happy point in your life something always went wrong and somehow, one way or another, you wound up hurt." He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed them. "That is unfortunately part of life, my love. Human's deal with it everyday, I've witnessed it over the many long centuries that I have lived. The only difference is that their time is limited, but we are lucky to have eternity."

"How is that lucky Nic. Having to worry about the Volturi breathing down our necks every waking second."

"It's no worse than a human worrying about becoming one of those many unlucky people who lose their lives due to an unfortunate event. Death is part of life, only we have less to worry about in that category. Sure we have the Volturi as our grim reapers but humans can die from drowning, car wrecks, being abducted, electrocution, fire, being hit by a car, allergic reactions or just their hearts stopping. That's not even the entire list." His grip on my hands tightened slightly. "You can't let that hold you back and keep your from living or you will just waste an eternity that you were lucky to receive. Out of over 6 billion people, we get to live forever."

Authors Note: So yeah this one chapter took just over 2 1/2 hours to write. I want you all to know this so you understand how much time a day I have given up to write just one chapter. Now multiply that by every chapter I've written in every single book I have on here (which I did the math and it is 672 chapters total) and you will see I have given up at least 70 days of my time for people I have never truly met in my life. That's almost 3 months of my life I will never get back.

So please be patient and grateful because not everyone would do this.