On My Own

Chapter 2 Denying the Demand

Natalie's POV

"Thanks for the vote of confidence with me dad.. means so much," I say sarcastically in the most spiteful tone as my father and I lock into another one of our intense staredowns.

I keep staring not breaking my gaze at all, you can feel the tension building so quickly between my father and me... That it's almost so thick it's becoming suffocating.. that is until my mother grabs my attention breaking our tension-filled gaze.

"What he means honey, is that we don't want you to be that far away.. just in case anything happens, so we can be there for you, for your aid, if you need us of course." She says this sweetly trying to ease the tension between my father and me but it doesn't work.

"No that's not what he meant mom." I spitefully spat back locking gazes with my father once again. I feel my eyes rolling as my head shakes at her thinking that I'm still this naive and small-minded little child.

But I know exactly what he was meant to say and I don't need her here to sugarcoat all his painfully toxic words. If we are hashing this out then we are all going to say what we want to each other.

"He doesn't think I can succeed out on my own but I beg to differ because I KNOW I'll be just fine," I say this with so much pride and confidence as I hold my head high... I have a newfound confidence in myself because someone has to believe in me..even if it's just myself.

My father without hesitation or care for my feelings scoffs and laughs at my answer in almost a mocking tone as he replies to me.

"There is no way you will survive over there on your own, you need us or someone to take care of you." He says all this in the most spiteful tone as I roll my eyes more at his comment making sure he sees that motion of my eyes this time. He saw it and started glaring again. My mother huffs as she tries to ease the tension more.. since it worked so well before I can see why she keeps trying. I sarcastically think this to myself.

"What your father means honey, is that we just want to make sure you have stability in your life... You should just marry that nice boy that you dated for years... you know Alex.." My mother is here again trying to sugarcoat her ill intentions for me more and more... I know she means well, but what she wants for me sounds like a living hell... So I groan even louder because here we go for the millionth time having this stupid conversation that they never listen to my side so it keeps being brought back up.

"Mom, we broke up because he couldn't stop abusing me or cheating on me, so I'm not going back to him, living in that hell-hole shell of a life just because he keeps proposing and because you keep insisting!" I almost yell this at her, so hopefully, she can tell how seriously fed up with this conversation I really am.

My mother matches my groan and glare as she retorts back, "He has worked very hard to acquire his family business from his father and running it very well on his own. He could give you a great, well-taken-care-of life.. and that's all I want for you, is to have stability, to not have to worry about making the money, living paycheck to paycheck, or dealing with bills... You could have a well-secured life and get to do all the art you want in your spare time being a stay-at-home wife."

I can't help all the anger building up inside of me with every single word and phrase she tries to use to convince me... It's like a ticking time bomb and I'm ready to explode...

"That's not the life that I want! I have told you that plenty of times!... I don't need someone to take care of me I can take care of myself!" I yell putting my hands to my head in frustration combing them through my long dark silky hair, this action doesn't even remotely calm me like it normally does... I groan so loudly in disbelief that we are having this exact same conversation again... How many more times are we going to have this conversation before she either listens to me or stops asking altogether?

My brother laughed so loudly making fun of my explanation as I see my father shaking his head and smirking to himself about my declaration as well. I'm always the butt of every one of their jokes, no one takes me seriously and I'm on my wits end when it comes to situations like these... My mother is the only serious one out of all four of them at the moment.. so she looks up locking her intense gaze with mine which doesn't happen that often. So she gains my full attention after this action.

"Nat, I know you want to do this on your own... But WANT and CAN are two completely different things. There is no way we are paying to send you across the country to a college when we could always use and benefit from your help here without wasting the time and money... So the answer is no." She says this with such a stern tone still locked into her tense gaze with me. I can feel my jaw clenching in frustration at their disproval.. but little do they know that they have no say in the matter.

I was just hoping for their love and support and obviously that was asking for too much in this case. I guess it's really time to drop the bomb on this situation they think they have control of.

"Oh don't worry mom you won't be the one wasting your money.. I have been saving up for this moment for a long time just so I can leave this place and see more of this world than just this small-minded town...I finally have my chance to leave and I'm not missing it." I say with so much sass and determination in my voice as my father hits the table with his balled-up fist, it happens so quickly that none of us saw that coming, So everyone is frozen stiff. This thrash onto the table is so loud that the sound reverberates in the kitchen making the table vibrate under his strike.. this action alone makes the plates fly up as food goes all over the table.

"You're not going on this stupid and pointless escapade..and that's final Natalie!" His booming voice echoes in this kitchen made it seem so much louder and more intimidating than it should be.

But I'm not backing down, this is what I have been wanting and waiting for, for years. "I'd like to see you try to stop me." I snap back as I turn around on my heels swiftly, heading out of the kitchen and towards the stairs to get up to my bedroom.

I start storming across the room with determination and haste in my step... I get a couple of stairs up when I hear a loud crash and mischievous laughing coming from my brothers.. probably excited to watch my father tear me to shreds after my last challenge.

"Natalie Marie!" booms my father's deep husky voice from right behind me. I stop frozen in my steps. I reluctantly but slowly turn around because I know I'm mad at them right now, but I don't want to die by my father's hand tonight.

I can see my mom and brothers have joined the conversation casually behind my father.. Close enough to hear but far enough to not get involved, waiting in anticipation to see what will happen next between the two of us.

The look on my father's face shows how livid he is with me right now. If looks could kill then I would be dead plenty of times over, so luckily for me looks can't kill... He stands so tall with his chest puffed out trying to intimidate me more than he already has.

He still stands taller than me even with me standing a couple of stairs up, so we are almost at eye level at this point.

He now sternly crosses his arms across his still puffed-out chest glaring daggers at me.

As my father's demanding tone booms at me once more."You will not be attending that school I forbid it! I don't care what you believe you CAN do because I know you CAN'T do this on your own! I don't know why you always have to fight your mother's advice and not just marry Alex so he can take care of you!" He states this as if it's just an obvious matter of fact, and I'm ridiculous for refusing the advice.

This statement absolutely infuriates me. "I don't want that! Why don't any of you care about what I want?! I don't and won't love that abusive, cheating asshole.. I'm not just going to marry someone just because they can take care of me, giving me an unhappy stable life in this small-minded town! There is more to life than that and I just want to get out of here and away from this place! Even if I don't succeed with my art I want to be able to say I legitimately tried to succeed. I can't do that being here, I have exasperated my options here." I yell all this leaning in closer to his face with so much desperation laced in my voice so that hopefully he can understand where I'm coming from.

Without missing a beat he slaps me so hard across the face sending me falling almost up the stairs. I grab my now throbbing cheek as I look up at my father in complete utter shock at what he just did to me... He has never actually slapped me ever before.

the staring gets even more intense between us as my mother runs to my side helping me up quickly."Natalie he didn't mean to do that!" She says with such panic in her voice because I think she knows what's about to come next.

I grab onto the wooden railing pulling myself up the stairs so quickly making my escape away from my parents and to my room...Slamming the door with so much force and locking it behind me.

I lean my back against the door still in shock and holding my hurt and probably soon-to-be bruised cheek. My cheek feels so hot from the slap as I rub it lightly trying to help the pain decrease.

My hand is shaking at this point I think mostly from the adrenaline rush... I can hear my mother yelling and crying still down the stairs but I hear my father's heavy stomping, fast-moving, footsteps quickly coming up the stairs and right outside my bedroom door.

I can tell he is yelling something at me through the door, but what he is saying I don't know, I'm past the point of listening to him.. at least for right now... So it honestly sounds like the teacher talking in the Charlie Brown movie... WA WA WA WA WA in the deepest baritone.

The door is vibrating with every single hit he makes on the door. I can tell hit after hit gets harder and harder with impatience. I'm surprised the door and its hinges are still intact together and holding strong.

I just let the silent tears roll down my face as I take a deep breath knowing what I need to do next for myself.

I run around the room quickly as I grab anything and everything I would need from my room that I can stuff into a bag. I grab the main essentials I will need like clothes and shoes, toiletries, my computer and its supplies, phone supplies, blankets, and pillows, along with my art supplies.. filling every single duffle bag in my room completely.

My emotions are hitting me tenfold as I gasp for air in my haste running around my room while still crying almost hysterically at this point.

I open my window quietly so they won't figure out what I'm doing. I take a couple of deep breaths in of the fresh air. The cool air fills my nostrils and to my lungs making me feel a little better, calming me down slightly.

I take all of my bags setting them out on the rooftop underneath my window sill. Once I go around checking one more time through my room making sure I have everything I need.

I go back to my window climb out and step onto the roof... I use to come out here all the time to watch the stars, so I'm used to this route onto the rooftop.

Once I'm on the roof I take each of my bags tossing them to the ground that's about 10 feet down from the roof to the ground. I get all my bags off the roof and to the ground as quickly as possible.

I sit down scooting myself to the roof's edge where I dangle my legs off for a small moment... Just taking in the stars above me in my favorite spot... I don't know when I will see this spot again so I want to enjoy it for just a second.

I take a deep breath in, relaxing with the cool air in my lungs and staring at the sparkling speckles of light through the deep dark abyss.

I take another nervous breath in than let it out as I jump down tucking and rolling across the ground to almost brace my fall, in hopes I don't get hurt from the jump.

I take my keys out of my jacket pocket opening my trunk to throw all my bags in there as quickly as possible. I don't have a whole lot to take with me, so I don't have to pack it in there too much.

I slam the trunk shut as I circle my car to the driver's side and open the door. I hear the house's front door swinging open and slamming against the house, this loud slamming sound gains all my attention.

It's my father in the doorway, then stepping forward and he looks like he wants to murder me... If looks could kill I promise you I would be dead a thousand times over right now.. my mother is at his side still crying hysterically at this point.

She grabs onto his arm with panic in her voice begging him, "Carl please don't she is our baby girl please!"

My father swipes his arm out of her desperate grip. "Natalie Marie if you leave after I told you not to and forbade it, then don't you dare plan on coming back! If our way of life is not good enough for you, to the point that you would abandon us in our time of need, then you are no daughter of mine!" He says this projecting his livid tone for anyone to hear.. even in the town over, it's so loud.

I laugh at this statement giving him the same mocking tone he gave me before in the house..giving him a taste of his own medicine.

"No father you and I have always butt heads because I'm just as stubborn and determined as you and guess what? I got those traits from you, I'm so much like you because I will always be your daughter! I just want to live life the way I want to, is that that bad? Because you cannot stand there and tell me you never at one point in your life, didn't want to experience and see more out there on this huge planet. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to experience and learn more in life. So stop making me feel bad for wanting to do something amazing for myself... You know as well as I do that you don't need me here at all, you just attempted to make me feel bad, and guess what? It didn't work! I would like to say I'm sorry but that would be a lie because I'm not... I won't settle for someone who I don't love or who doesn't treat me well, just to be stable and to be taken care of here. And if that's the life you TRULY want for me, being unhappy and beat, then you're not the father I always thought you were and not any father of mine! You should never want me to be unhappily hurt just because that's the easier route.. when have you ever taught me to take the easy route?Never! You have taught me to be a fighter and that's what I'm going to do is fight for the life I want to live! So I will keep you updated on my journey, just try to not hate me forever because I love you daddy and I know I could never actually hate you no matter how mad you make me. I love you all." I blow a kiss as I climb into my car. buckling up and starting my car driving down the driveway and out of my family's life for now.. but hopefully not forever.

I turn onto the main road that connects to the highway as my emotions hit me like a brick wall as I start to cry uncontrollably. I have to pull over and parking because everything in front of me is a blurry glossy mess and that's not safe to drive in when I can't even see clearly especially in the pitch dark of night. I take a couple of deep breaths in letting them out.

Don't get me wrong I don't regret leaving and I don't think I ever will but to leave on these terms was not what I was expecting let alone planning for.

I went home from work tonight as the black sheep and left as a hated runaway college student... It's not how I wanted to leave but either way, I'm leaving, which was exactly what I wanted... I didn't expect to go out guns-a-blazing but I guess that's probably the only way I would want to go out, looking like a true fighter. Here's to the next step on my own. Let's prove them all wrong.