After Your Rejection

Chapter 19 The Pain

Sebastian

After my attempt to talk with Alexis, I went back to lunch but excused myself after a while. I pretended to have some things to attend to. I needed some alone time. My wolf is restless, trying to take control and go find Alexis. Something is bothering him, but I have no clue what it is. She looked like she was trying to hide something.

I thought she would have allowed me to explain, but that wasn't the case. She is in so much pain. I can see that. She's different. I hate myself for doing this to her. That's why I wanted to have a talk.

The picture of Alexis's slight tug of her lips when she mentioned she was seeing someone made me want to go berserk. I shouldn't have been surprised, I knew she was intimate with another after all.

I'm nearly in front of my office when I double over and curse. Please, not now. This is not the right time for her to be intimate with another man. Or woman. I can't believe how I ruined her. She was like a little ray of sunshine, always smiling. She was one hell of a fighter who cursed like a sailor when angry, but at the same time, she was a sweet little innocent girl. And I f*cked her up. I'm not one to curse, but there isn't a better word to describe what I've done. Because I was scared.

'Sebastian, are you all right?' Kieran asks me while coming from the other side of the corridor. Damn, he saw me. And Axel is coming with him. He hates my guts and I don't blame him.

'Everything is fine.' I managed to say before another wave of pain hit me. I brace myself against a wall and try to compose myself. Kieran comes to me and helps me to my office. Axel closes the door and looks at me, studying me. When another shot of pain goes through me, through my chest mainly, I fall to my knees and grab my chest with my hand.

'Do I have to call a doctor?' Kieran asks me. I shake my head, unable to say anything. Axel looks like he is close to figuring out what is happening to me. I can see the wheels in his head spinning. When I brace my other hand on the floor while clutching my chest tightly, it dawns on him.

'It's the pain from her being intimate with another!' He stares at me with wide eyes. I nod my head, and he puts his hands on his head and exhales through his mouth. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials her number, I assume. Kieran is just staring at me, trying to comprehend what Axel said.

'Your mate is intimate with another man? How can that be? I didn't know you had a mate, Sebastian. Where is she? Why isn't she here with you?' Kieran asks question after question without waiting for my answers. Questions I'm not sure how I'm going to respond to. But it's time to tell him the truth. He knows bits and pieces from what Alexis said, and he deserves the whole picture.

'Answer your f*cking phone! Damn it!' Axel curses and throws his phone on the couch.

'Who are you calling?' Kieran asks Axel.

'His mate.' Axel points his index finger at me. Kieran is slowly putting pieces together.

'Tell me it's not...' Kieran starts, looking from Axel to me and back at Axel. Axel looks at me and then nods his head in approval.

'Kieran, it's Alexis. She is my mate. Or she was. I'm not sure. The situation is complicated. She rejected me, but I didn't accept her rejection, nor did I reject her back. I'm sorry for not telling you, I really am.' I tell Kieran and I see his expression changing from concern to anger.

'Are you f*cking kidding me, Sebastian? You are the mate who didn't want her?' Kieran yells at me with anger lacing his words.

'I've never told her that. I must admit I didn't acknowledge her as my mate. I was an i***t back then, thinking I was protecting her. Like I said, it's complicated. I will tell you everything, just not now, obviously.' I say, trying hard to breathe and talk during the pain. I just hope it's a quickie.

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It wasn't a quickie. To hell with that guy, whoever he was! Finally, Alexis picks up Axel's call.

'Alexis! Where are you?' Axel asks her while looking at me. He looks concerned, but I'm not sure if it's for me or for his sister. Maybe for both of us. The whole time I was in pain, he was pacing in my office, deep in thoughts. Sometimes he looked at me, contemplated something and then shook his head and started pacing again. He texted somebody several times. Then he threw his phone on the couch just so he could grab it again and resume texting. I'm surprised he cares about me and about my suffering. I thought he would be glad to see me in pain after how I treated his sister. Maybe even add to my suffering. I was wrong. I should have known better. Axel is a good guy, his parents taught him well. He's just the overprotective older brother.

To say Kieran wasn't happy about my revelation is an understatement. He was looking at me angrily, then cursing loudly. But most of the time, he looked deep in his thoughts.

'Give me the f*cking phone!' Kieran interrupts Axel and snatches his phone.

'Alexis, stop what you are doing and come back right the f*ck now.' He instructs his daughter, or better say, commands her.

'Dad, you need to calm down. She'll never come back if you behave like that. Give me my phone back.' Axel snatches the phone back and starts talking, going for a gentle tone, even though he's balling his fists.

'Alexis, the situation here changed and... is not good. Please, come back and let's discuss some things. It's really important, you know I would never ask you to do it if it isn't.' Axel tells her, looking straight into my eyes. I can't feel more pain, but that doesn't mean I'm okay. I'm definitely not okay. My mate, the girl I loved for so long, just had s*x with somebody else. Every time this happens, another piece of my heart breaks. Not just for me, but for her, too. Now I understand her motivation more for doing this, for looking for intimacy. What she told us really shook me. The pain she described. I can relate, I'm suffering, too.

'Okay, thank you. We'll be waiting… Yes, Dad won't be like that again, I'll make sure.' Axel says, still on the phone with Alexis. Then he turns to Kieran. 'Stop yelling at her, she didn't know. It's not her fault. I was there back then.'

'Why the f*ck didn't you tell me?' Kieran asks him.

'Because she didn't want you to know. Nobody knows except for Sebastian, her and me. If Sebastian didn't tell anybody, that is. And Dad… Language!'