Saving my abused mate

6. The Full Moon ceremony

Rage

It was the same every time.  We were gathered in a clearing, with the Alpha of the Pack giving a speech before asking us to shift and run with him to celebrate the full moon.  It was something all members of a pack took part of, but it was even more especial for members of mating age, because it also gave us the chance to look for our mates.  As usual, the group of guests was on one side, while the members of the pack were in the other.  We all shifted at the same time, but the members of the pack were closer to the forest, so they had a head start as we all started running after the Alpha.  Soon some of the wolves in the run would get away as they chased their mates.  Sometimes no one found their mates, but it was usual for at least one of them to find their True Mates, since our group usually visited packs where wolves were having their first chance at finding their mates. 

I ran with the rest of the group, my senses on alert, trying to catch that elusive smell that would indicate my mate.  But soon the run was getting to its end and no one had caught my attention.  I felt defeated, and the rage that had given me my Alpha nickname was consuming me and demanding an outlet.  While the rest of the wolves were getting back to the clearing to end the run, I turned and went to hunt.  No one would miss me, maybe they would think I had found my mate if they did, but that was a problem for later, first I needed to let some of my anger go. 

By the time I went back to the Pack House, I was exhausted, but at least I felt a little more in control.  I don't know what was going on with me, but every time it got harder and harder to accept that I hadn't been able to find my mate.  Sleep was hard to find, but it was even harder to get up the next day with just a couple hours of sleep.  I still had to meet my hosts and thank them for inviting me and all the formalities that came with being the alpha heir to my Pack.  When I got to the dining room, I couldn't see Xander anywhere, and I was expecting him to be the first one there.

"Have you seen Xander?" I asked s***h, sitting next to him once I got a plate full of breakfast food. 

"I didn't see you last night, so I thought you had found your mate," he said.  "I almost expected to see you with Caro this morning, the talk of the pack is that she found her True Mate last night."

"Maybe she is with Xander," Ax said, and I felt sick.  Xander had found his mate?

It wasn't that I wasn't happy for him.  He deserved good things, and nothing was better than finding your True Mate, it was just that everyone was finding their mates before me, and that made me angry, but mostly, it made me feel sad, and a little like a failure. 

"I didn't know that, but I'm happy for him."  I managed to get the words out, trying my best to look sincere and hide my disappointment at not being the one with a mate.  "I guess that means we will be staying a little longer, we will need to see what are their plans.  Since Xander is the one I'm considering taking as my beta once I take control of my Pack, I would like for his mate to come with us, but as you know, it will be a negotiation."  I immediately went back to my training to distract myself from the reality I would be facing.  I needed to keep my mind occupied with paperwork and requirements so I wouldn't focus on my failure.  

"Yeah, we will need to talk to my parents about it, but I'm guessing they are already aware of what's going on, and should have an idea of what to do and all that stuff.  I'm guessing they will take their time, new mates and all that.  Why don't we go for a run?  It's been a while since you have been here, and there are a few spots we could visit," s***h said.  I think he could tell I was upset and was trying to cheer me up, so I took him on his offer. 

"Sounds good, let's go."  I used as much enthusiasm as I could muster. 

As we were getting ready to leave, we were joined by a few others that also wanted to burn some energy, mostly because they were upset for not finding their own mates.  Why was it becoming so hard to get over it?  At least the company helped get my mind away from it.  We visited a few spots, and ended up at a little pond.  We went in, some as wolves, some in our human skin, but all of us having fun and just being carefree.  Time flew by, something I really needed, and by the time we got back to the Pack House it was already getting dark.  

We joined the pack to dinner, it was a festive atmosphere with everyone still talking about the previous day's ceremony.  It was always like this everywhere I went, our kind really loved our runs and the chance to connect to one another while in our animal forms, when instinct ruled our bodies.  Dinner was really good, as it usually was, the packs always presented their best when they had guests, especially when they were future leaders and possible allies from other packs.  I ate my fill and started thinking about my next step, mostly to keep me distracted, but I needed to wait for the formal announcement and the summons from the local Alpha pair before starting my side of the job. 

"Rage?" I finally heard Xander's voice.  I had been expecting him for a while.  I know I was gone most of the day, but I had been expecting him to be waiting for me when I arrived, and I was starting to think I would have to go and hunt him down.  "Can we talk for a minute?" his words made me unsure, he sounded worried, something I was not expecting.  He was supposed to be over the moon with happiness.  For a moment I was afraid he was going to ask me to stay there, that he wanted to leave our Pack.    

"Good to finally see you.  I heard that congratulations are in order?" I asked, trying to sound carefree, trying to guess what he was thinking. 

"Yeah, it caught me by surprise," it was almost as if he was apologizing, and I was almost sure I was going to lose him, but I put my best face, trying to control my anger, because he was my friend and he deserved to be happy. 

"Well, that's how it usually works.  So, where is she?  Am I going to meet her?"

"Yeah, she went to talk to her Alpha, she is going to request to move to our Pack, but since she is under the protection of the beta, it will be a little complicated," he explained, looking a little worried. 

"Well, whatever I can do to help," I sincerely offered, because even if I was jealous and hurt that he had found his True Mate before me, he deserved it, and it was kind of my job to help with that kind of transitions.

"Thanks boss, I guess we will need your help, you know, for the formalities and the paperwork and all that stuff."

"You can count on me.  I'm glad we will have a new member for our Pack."

"She is amazing," he said with a silly smile on his face, "she will be a great beta female, that's if you choose me."

"Of course I will, and I believe you, I'm sure your mate must be as great as you."

"Yours will be awesome once we find her, and I'm sure we will, it's just a matter of time," he tried to cheer me up, and I understood that he was worried about my reaction to him finding his mate before me. 

"I know, I'm not worried," I lied, but I was sure he could see it, he was one of my closest friends after all, and I never could lie to him.

We heard noises and turned to see s***h's parents coming our way, just a step behind were their betas, and between them was a beautiful young woman that I guessed was Xander's mate.  She had her face turned to the side, so I was unable to see her, but then she turned and it took all my training and restraining not to show my surprise when I saw that one of her eyes was white, and a nasty scar ran through her face.  Our kind didn't scar easily, usually shifting fixed that kind of injuries, so she had either been attacked when she was way too young, or the damage had been so terrible that not even her abilities had been able to fix it.  Something told me that her story was an interesting one.