Like I Love You

Chapter 1: Not Into Girls-5

They spent the rest of the afternoon in Bethany’s room working on their project. Well, Bethany worked on the project; Dana stared at Bethany instead. Everything her new friend said or did, Dana interpreted as a double entendre. A quick glance, a warm smile, a casual touch—each ignited Dana’s blood, set her heart racing and her mind aflame. Was Bethany flirting with her? Or was it simply her overactive imagination? Did she want Bethany to like her so badly that she had to read into every little thing?

Was Bethany just being friendly? How would Dana ever be able to tell?

Bethany’s knowledge of French women writers seemed encyclopedic compared to Dana’s own. “I took a French lit class last semester,” Bethany explained, her tone almost apologetic. Many of the books she mentioned as ones they might be interested in doing for the project she already owed, but her copies were all in French. “I’ll just tell you what they’re about and when we pick the ones we’re going to use, I’m sure you can find English translations in the library.”

“If this was English class, I’d read circles around you in a heartbeat,” Dana promised. “Oh, wait—it is an English class, at least for me.”

“Really? I signed up for it as a French class.” Bethany laughed, that twinkling wind chime sound Dana could listen to all day. “Too funny!”

One of the books Bethany suggested was called Coup de Grâce by Marguerite Yourcenar. “The English version is just as good as the French,” Bethany said, “because her lover was the one who translated most of her work. Can you imagine how awesome it’d be to have the person translating your stuff into another language sleeping with you, too? If they had any doubt about what you meant by a particular word or phrase, all they’d have to do is roll over in the morning and ask you.”

Dana may not have known many gay people in her lifetime—coming from such a sheltered small town almost guaranteed she’d grown up with a closed mind when it came to LGBT issues—but she knew the gender-neutral terms “lover” and “partner” usually meant “of the same sex.” She tried not to get too excited by Bethany picking the book. Maybe it was just a good read?

Carefully, she asked, “What’s the book about?”

“This guy who’s in love with his best friend,” Bethany explained, “only he can’t say anything, because it’s set during the Russian Civil War, so men didn’t really go around proclaiming their love for other men then. Plus they were both soldiers, and the best friend’s sister’s in love with the main character. It’s really good.”

Okay, hold up, wait. There were coincidences, and then there were slap in the face, straight up destiny. Dana was an English major; she knew an allusion when she saw one. Bethany liked her, had to, and was as tentative and unsure as Dana about admitting it.

So she picked a book by an author who had a lesbian lover which involved a gay love story at its heart and hoped…what? That Dana would be able to read between the lines and see how interested she was in pursuing a relationship of their own? That the story would bring them together somehow?

Were matters of the heart always this touch and go? Dana wasn’t sure, but with a knowing smile, she took the book Bethany offered her and leafed through it, even though it was in French and she couldn’t read a word of it. She’d get there, she hoped. Eventually.