Haunting Past

Chapter 6 - Flashback

Fiona’s POV

For the first time after meeting Rose, I was getting nervous about meeting someone. I have been going through my wardrobe for the past hour. I couldn’t just decide what to wear. Before yesterday, I never felt so tense about meeting Ronald. Even if I liked him, I never knew that he too had feelings for me. Even if he goes back on his decision after knowing my past, I won’t stop him. I won’t lie, it will definitely hurt me. I wish I could just be as happy as other girls. The mistakes I made in the past were finding someone to love me and now when someone is in front of me, I couldn't accept his proposal because of that dirty past.

I was sitting in the middle of the mess I made when Helen knocked on my door. She was shocked to see the condition of my room.

“What’s this, Fiona? What are you doing?”

“Actually, I am confused. Can you help me choose a dress to wear for the evening?” I asked.

“What’s in the evening? Is there any function at the Dumont house? Rose didn’t tell me anything.” She looked confused.

“No, actually I am going to meet Ronald,” I said.

“Oh my God, I am so happy for you. You agreed to give him a chance.” She hugged me from the back.

“No, it’s not what you think. I am going to meet him because he wants to know about my past and I am sure that will be the end of our relationship. That doesn't mean that I shouldn't try to look good. I want to look the best.” I said with a sigh.

“Hey, I am sure Ronald wouldn't change his mind after hearing your story. He is a man with a golden heart. Fiona, stop feeling so low about yourself. Whatever happened in your past was not just your fault. Your circumstances made you do so and that doesn't make you bad. You are a good girl and you deserve to be happy. Now let me see what you should wear." Heled said, pushing me aside and going through my wardrobe. Finally, she selected a yellow knee-length bodycon dress.

"This is perfect, neither formal nor casual. The colour suits you very well." Helen said,

"Thank you so much for accepting me as I am. You all make me feel that I am not alone. I would have done something really good, to get you all as my friends." A tear escaped from my eyes.

"I have a lot of laundry today and so I was thinking of ordering something for brunch. It's already late for breakfast and not yet time for lunch." She said,

"Sounds great. Croissants along with muffins will do for me," I said.

"I think I'll do the same. Let me just go and place the order and then do the laundry. By the time you just clean up the mess you have made here." She said, pointing at the pile of clothes scattered in my room.

It was 30 minutes past 2 in the afternoon when I started getting ready. Ronald offered to pick me up but I refused because I was afraid of being left alone when he heard me. Helen had taken a day off as she had an appointment with her doctor. She has been experiencing severe menstrual cramps since the last few months. So Martin has been pushing her to see her gynecologist. Helen went, after finishing her laundry, to see the doctor.

By 4.00, I locked the apartment door and went down to my car. I reached my destination within 40 minutes. Ronald was already waiting for me there. The place seemed a little bit different. It always smells of the sea but today there is a fragrance of fresh flowers, especially roses and lilies. I looked around but didn't find any flowers. I looked towards Ronald. He was wearing a yellow polo t-shirt with blue jeans and he just looked handsome in everything. I wondered how our dresses matched because I opted to wear a blue denim jacket as my dress was sleeveless.

"Hello Fiona, you look beautiful." Ronald pulled me out of my thoughts.

"You aren't bad either," I said with a smile.

Inside the rock shelter there is a big rock in the middle in place of a table and four small rocks around it to sit. It was actually set by Martin for his romantic date with Helen. After they showed me this place, it became like my shelter whenever I felt lonely. I still wonder how Ronald knew about this place. None of my friends know that I come here when I get upset. We sat on either side facing each other.

"Before we start our conversation, I want to know how you knew about this place? How did you know that you could find me here yesterday night?" I asked.

"Well, I have already opened up about my feelings. I saw you getting upset on the day when Ryan proposed to Rose. So I followed you and it ended up here. That day I understood that you were so naive and I just wanted to protect you." His words made a smile creep to my lips.

"Fiona, I just wanted to tell you that my feelings for you are not bound to change after hearing about your past. I am here just because you want me to hear you out." I nodded and closed my eyes.

"I'll start from the beginning. Babies are born either out of love or a mistake. My birth doesn't fall into either of the categories. Steve Raphael and Pauline Torry married each other because of their professions. Steve was a banker and Pauline an interior designer. They never wanted to expand their family, but being humans, they needed to satisfy their wants. During one such encounter, I was born. They would have gotten rid of me if it was possible. Just because the doctors told me that Pauline would die if she aborted me, they chose to keep me. The day I was born, I was given to the hands of Helga Vincent, maid of our house. She became my Nanny. No, she actually became my mother. She was my family. My parents never cared if I lived or not. The only time I saw my parents together was on my birthdays. Just to show the world that they love me, they act in front of them giving me expensive presents. But they never gave me what I wanted. I just wanted their love and care.

Helga used to take me to her home. She had a wonderful family. Her husband was a truck driver. She had two children; her son Herman and daughter Carmel. They loved me as their younger sister. I started to spend nights at their house because I knew that my parents would never find out. My life was going well until my parents shifted to another city. They took me with them even when I told them that I didn't want to go with them. What could a 10 year old girl do? They dragged me with them and cut all ties with my nanny. That's when I started hating my parents." I took a deep breath as I was going to enter the dark parts of my life.

" A few years passed by and I just concentrated on my studies. I didn't have any friends. Books became my friends. I just wanted to study well and get a job so that I would be able to escape from my parents. Slowly I started realising that my parents were falling apart. Both of them were cheating on each other. But I always thought that it was my mother alone. Because my father was the only one who showed a little bit of concern after we moved out to the new city." I looked at Ronald, who was paying full attention to each and every word.

"I was just 14 when I caught my mother with her boyfriend making out on the kitchen counter. For the first time, I raised my voice against her. That day, my father moved out, leaving me behind with my mother. I didn't have any other option than to stay with my mother. I wanted to take revenge on my mother and so I seduced her boyfriend, who was just half her age. I gave him my virginity but little did I know what was in store for me. Do you know I hate my birthdays and never celebrate? None of my friends knows about my birthday because I never told them. They never force me because they know how much I hate my birthdays. It was on my 15th Birthday I gave my virginity to that man. I continued the act behind my mother and it gave me great satisfaction. It was a feeling like defeating my mother. One day at school, I fainted and they took me to the hospital. My mother was called there and the doctor told her that I was pregnant. My mother didn't believe me when I said that the father of my child was her boyfriend. Without my permission, my mother got me aborted. Even at that age, I wanted to keep the child and show my mother the real meaning of motherhood." I looked towards Ronald to get his reaction. He looked away from me as if to hide his face. Was it just my imagination or did I just see tears in his eyes?

"By the time I was about to be discharged, my father came. He wanted to take me with him and my mother didn't object. He took me to his new home where he lived with his girlfriend. I lived there for a few days, but his girlfriend didn't like me. So he sent me to a boarding school. From then on, I opened an account in my name and transferred a good amount every month. I never wanted to use that money and so I concentrated on my studies. After school, I got admission to the best college with a full scholarship. Again, I concentrated on my studies. After graduation, I started feeling lonely without any friends or family. So I took up a job which again took me into heartbreak."

"Stop Fiona." Ronald interrupted me. He didn't even want to hear my full story before making his decision. I prepared myself for the worst.

"I don't want to hear any further," he said.

"I told you, you would definitely change your opinion about me. I can understand how you feel right now and, believe me, I don't have any grudge against you. OK then, I hope this won't affect our official relationship." I said and stood up to go back and that's when he held my wrist.