10 Nick
I feel completely helpless. There’s no other word for it. I can either blindly walk the streets, as I have done for a good half an hour after speaking to Derek, or I can do as the police told me and wait at home in case Ellie returns.
When I get back to the house I sit on a stool at the breakfast bar in the kitchen and rest my head on my arms on the counter. I try to calm my racing mind and think more clearly, trying to remember what I learned from those ‘mindfulness’ websites. The incredible stress of the whole situation has made my skull feel as though it’s been stuffed with cotton wool.
I want to cry, scream, shout and break things all at the same time. I know I’m going to crack, and very soon, but I don’t know in which way yet. The next thing I hear is the front door closing
