Something Like Peace

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Photo shoots. The necessary evil of my job. I hated them. I found it difficult to be in character without actually having dialogue or action to rely on. The costume did not a character make, especially when it was just regular clothes. Certainly not for me. I could be myself in interviews, and I could be Frank Geary when I was on set. But standing around, holding different poses all day while the photographer went nuts was not what I would call fun. It wasn’t even in the same ballpark.

There were only three outfits on the rack under the sign with my character’s name, and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it. There had been shoots in the past when I’d had six or seven changes before the day was through. I always thought that was ridiculous. We were shooting promo shots for print ads and probably the future DVD and Blu Ray covers. We’d just finished shooting episode ten of season five, and the one hundredth episode was fast approaching. I knew there’d be a lot of promo work stuff going on before that aired, even though we had yet to film it.

I’d heard Vincent was coming back to codirect the one hundredth episode.

It made sense. He and Constance O’Meara were the most liked, and best to work with. They both shot some fantastic footage for the show. Connie had directed the episode with the big gay kiss, and it had gotten accolades all over the place. Vincent directed the season four finale that had garnered guest star Brandon Culpepper a Primetime Emmy. To have them both at the helm for the big celebration episode was bound to make it fantastic.

But that meant I had only a week and a half until I saw him again.

He hadn’t said anything to me, and since I brought my A game to work, he hadn’t even talked to me outside of giving direction. It had been two days of nerves for me, not quite knowing what to do or say. I guessed he’d meant it when he said it was up to me. But before I’d built up the nerve to do anything, we’d got the final scene for the episode in the can and everyone scattered. I thought I’d have a chance to make my move at the wrap party, but he hadn’t shown at DeLorio’s that night. It was disappointing, but in the end, I decided it wasn’t something I wanted to pursue.

And then Marc Bergman, showrunner and producer, called an all cast and staff meeting to tell us the big plans for episode twelve and I learned just how soon Vincent Stevens would be back.

Not that it mattered. I wasn’t going to do anything else with him. He was sexy and beautiful, he wore his fifty-two years incredibly well, but I knew better than to try for anything. It was never a good idea to get involved with someone you worked with. I always worried about what would happen if things between Lucas and Aaron went south, and I breathed a sigh every day I saw them still in love. God, their affection went so deep that I was almost certain their relationship would outlast the run of the show.

I could hope anyway.

But I wasn’t naïve enough to think that I could find the same thing. And Vincent had certainly sounded like he was looking for a good time, not a relationship. I didn’t know if the risks of pursuing that were worth the reward. I didn’t think I was brave enough to find out. So I resolutely pushed the thought from my mind and went to change into the first costume.

It was a long day, and a good portion of it was me standing around and waiting for the photographer to need me. I got into a tickle fight with Mary Alice for which we were both chastised. Court Scully and I had a heated debate about the merits of lowering the drinking age. We were all quiet when the photographer, James Levinson, had us pose on set, and it was difficult to find that half smile that was Frank Geary’s trademark. I didn’t have a problem when we were in a scene; the smile came naturally to me then. But I wasn’t in Geary’s head right now, for all I was wearing his clothes and standing with his coworkers and lover.

Eventually things wound down and James had let everyone go except for me, Aaron, and Lucas. Aaron’s character had gone from a supporting role to a main character over the course of one season. The novelty of a gay relationship hadn’t worn off yet, apparently. There was still a ridiculous amount of publicity, though fortunately most of the negative had dissipated. We didn’t even get protesters anymore.

We shot some poses with Lucas and me looking all menacing and badass. We were hotshot detectives who always solved our cases, after all. It was the best part of the day, goofing off with Lucas. He was a close friend, our years together on the set of this show cementing something between us that couldn’t be broken. He’d been honest with me about his sexuality the first time I’d caught him staring at Aaron’s ass, though I hadn’t known at the time how deep his infatuation ran. But even though I’d finally figured things out for myself, I hadn’t yet returned the favor.

James interrupted my train of thought by telling Lucas he was done, and ushering Aaron onto set with me. He had us move to the corner where he’d set up a dark background. Aaron was wearing the deputy uniform of his character, and I was wearing a button down shirt, tie, and slacks. My badge hung around my neck.

“Let’s get the good shots so we can all go home,” James said, sounding as weary as I felt. He had us position ourselves so I was leaning against the wall, and Aaron was leaning into me. We both looked at the camera as the shutter started clicking.

“So,” I began conversationally, keeping my voice low. Might as well start with Aaron, and tell him the truth. We’d been basically naked together, and had spent several days faking having s*x. That gave us a connection. “I need to tell you something.”

“Yeah?” Aaron asked, moving as James directed so that his back was to me and he was leaning against my left shoulder. When James had me slip my arm around Aaron’s waist, I did not miss the way Aaron’s gaze shot to Lucas’s.

Lucas, for his part, looked thoroughly engaged in his phone, typing madly, but I knew him well enough to know his attention was focused on us. And that he’d put up with me touching Aaron because it was me and our job, and for no other reason.

“Yeah,” I agreed. Then blew out a breath. “Truth is, I’m gay.”

Aaron gave a tiny jolt of surprise, but then he settled back further into my arms. I did not miss the accusation in his voice when he asked, “Since when?”

“Always,” I admitted, then I took another breath and gave him the quick abridged version of my history. I knew he was listening intently because he c****d his head ever so slightly to the side. He didn’t look at me, kept his attention on James or Lucas, but I had no doubt he was hearing every word.

“So you forgot you were gay?”

When he put it like that, it sounded ridiculous. But that was closest to the truth. I could pretend with the best of them, I was paid a lot of money for it, and I’d convinced myself of a different truth, forgetting the real one. “Yes.”

For a beat, Aaron didn’t react. Then he let out a soft laugh, and reached back to squeeze my hip. “You know what? Anyone else and I’d think that was a crock of s**t. You, though? Yeah. I believe it.”

Relief flooded my veins and I was so giddy with it, I laughed hard. Aaron turned a bright smile on me.

“Thanks, A.”

“Anytime. You want me to tell Lucas?”

I shook my head. “I’ll do it. He deserves to hear it from me. Why don’t you guys come over for dinner tonight, I’ll make lasagna, and I’ll tell him then?”

Aaron nodded, accepting for both of them. And then his smile turned a little mischievous. “So is there someone you have your eye on?”

“What? No!” I sputtered. Aaron gave a wicked chuckle and I struggled to rein myself in in. Once I was under control, I said much more calmly, “No, of course not. I’m just, you know, sharing a truth about myself with my friend.”

Aaron looked knowingly at me. “Yeah. Okay. You can share all your truths with me.”

I snorted out a laugh and bumped him with my hip as James finally called an end to the session. “It’s not anything, at least, I don’t think it is. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I hear ya, man,” Aaron said, raising his fist for me to bump with my own.

Lucas chose that moment to stalk closer, and after a surreptitious look around the set, pushed right into Aaron’s personal space. No one was paying them any attention but me, and I could see the way Lucas was vibrating with the need to reassert his claim. It was enough to make me laugh, but I kept it inside.

“What’s so funny?” Lucas growled.

Aaron shook his head and quickly ran a finger along Lucas’s jaw. It was amazing, the way Lucas relaxed under just that much of a touch.

“Don’t worry about it right now,” Aaron said, his voice pitched low. “Dan’ll fill you in later when we go to his house for dinner.”

Lucas brightened considerably, and he turned his gaze to me. “Lasagna?” he asked hopefully.

I nodded and shooed them along. I needed to get out of this costume and hang it back on the rack, then I needed to get out of here. The warehouses that housed the soundstages and the production offices weren’t far from the grocery store, and I could stop and get what I needed on my way home. My place wasn’t anything fancy, only half of a duplex just past the business district where it started to become residential. I bought the place when it looked like Rourke and Geary would be sticking around for a while. Seattle was a fantastic city, and I had no problem making my home there for the duration.

Coming out, take two, had gone fairly smoothly. I could only hope Lucas accepted it as easily.