A Whole New World

5. Coffee Shop Confessions

     Over the past 3 days my Alexa and I had texted on and off talking about everything- except Glenn.  I really did not want to bring him into this.  This would be the first friend post divorce that knows absolutely nothing about the past few years.  I didn't feel like I was hiding anything, I just wanted to think of it as my fresh start and the thought of having a friend not look at me like I was fragile or could crack at any moment- well, I didn't want that.  I was excited to meet Mike for coffee as well.  From the text he sent yesterday making sure we were all good, I also had the feeling that something was bothering him, and he needed me.  Mike was the level-headed and methodical one who didn't need advice so whatever it was, this was truly bothering him.  I thought about texting Alexa to push dinner a bit, but then realized that there was 2 hours in between and I should be fine.

    When I arrived at the coffee shop, Mike was already there waiting at a table with a coffee and scones for both of us.  The coffee was still steaming, giving me a bit of relief knowing that he hadn't been here waiting for long.  This reminded me of the time when Mike and Tina first started dating, she only got jealous once of our friendship that I know of until she got to know me.  It had been because of how close we were, and he did treat me like a woman he was dating (just without the benefits of course).  He was always buying my coffee, holding doors and we were always hugging.  I could see how people thought we were dating at the time though.  That all cooled down a bit when Tina came into the picture and I understood that.  As soon as his eyes found me, I could see the happiness and a bit of either panic or sorrow at the same time.  He was dressed as his normal self in slacks and a long sleeve dress shirt.  He looked a little tired from a long week at work, but nothing was out of the ordinary though.

"Hey Hun, what's going on?" I greeted him as I approached the table.  He had stood up as soon as he saw me enter the front door.  I greeted him with a hug before sitting in the seat across from him with a bit of a worried look on my face.  That is where I sat, looking at him patiently waiting for him to say something....  anything....

"How was your week?  And that meeting- you didn't tell me how that went"

"My week was amazing!  The presentation went flawlessly- oh- and you would never guess who was there!"

"Who?" he asked, but I knew he was deflecting.  I would allow this for a brief time so he could get his s**t together to talk to me about whatever it is that was really bothering him.

"Alexa!  She was one of the lawyers for the company we were making that pitch to!  I think I was just as surprised to see her as she was to see me!  We have been texting on and off for most of the week and we are going to meet up for dinner in a bit.  But that's not why we are here...I have known you my whole life Mike.  Whatever it is, you know you can tell me".  I tried to stay calm and be supportive, but I was really getting worried now.

"We lied to you on the weekend and it is tearing me up.  I have never lied to you!  I never thought that we would ever be talking to you about this, but when you saw that entrance....  I froze"

"What?" I was so confused… "What are you talking about- what entrance?" and then the realization hit me.  "That place that Alexa was asking about some after party???  Um...okay, thanks for the apology, but I am not sure why it is eating away at you like this."

"Well, keep in mind that this is not something that we intended on telling you...EVER.  because it is a side of us that not too many people know about.  It was foolish of us to think we could take you there and nothing happened..." He was starting to ramble, but I tried my best to follow what he was saying "Tina thinks that we should tell you and honestly, it is the only secret that we have kept from you over the years."

"Over the years..." is all I could manage, nodding along with him trying to keep up.  He had kept a secret from me for years???  This was really bothering him too.  "Look, Mike, whatever it is, it will be fine".  I tried to sound as compassionate as I could.

"After Tina found out that you were talking to Alexa, she insisted that we keep this date and I talk to you” I sat there wondering where he was going with this and what did it have to do with Alexa?  I had no idea what to say, so I just sat there....  waiting...because he did not provide me with any info to be able to even remotely understand that the hell he was talking about.  We sat there for what seemed like forever, but it was only a minute before he finally continued with his head down.  Not even able to look me in the eye.

"We...we are...Tina and I are a part of an alternative lifestyle."

"um, okay?"  I tried to shrug it off as nothing because as much as I wanted to pry it out of him, if they had this secret for years, then I figured the only way he was going to explain further is if I waited.

"Alexa is a part of it as well..."  here we go again....at this rate, we would be here until the sun came up before he told me what he came here for...I decided to just continue to sit in silence.  I could tell he was very afraid that whatever this lifestyle thing was it could ruin our friendship.  I mean, now that it involved Alexa, I was even more intrigued, but I knew him enough that if I pushed him, he would just clam up and go home so I continued to slowly sip away at my coffee.  I'm not sure if the silence were helping him or not, but what else could I do?  'ding’ (his cell phone chimed)

"okay, okay- here goes.  I want you to know that this does not affect our friendship or any part of it from the past.  This alternative lifestyle is a s****l one.  That 'After Party' that Alexa mentioned?  Well, it's a private member only club.  Anyone can go to the bar to drink and meet people, have fun, dance, and go home-but at midnight, the other part that is the private club part opens and the members if they choose to, head down there to experience any of their s****l desires.  It's a safe place free of judgement for other people like us."  The words were spewing from him now, I had a challenging time keeping up.  "No one has to go down there and generally we only go if we have met someone or a couple that we are both interested in.  You see, Tina and I have a mutual need and we have incorporated that into our marriage.  We both really enjoy certain things when it comes to sex."

"uh-wow!  um...er...that was not what I was expecting at all!"  I was at a complete loss for words.  Thinking back over everything and our conversations lately...I finally continued "okay, so what you are telling me is that you and Tina are, what- swingers?  And Alexa is a part of this group as well?  I still don't understand what this has to do with me or why you feel so pressured to tell me now."

"well, you see-Alexa, like Tina is bisexual...and... let’s just say that I know without any doubt that Alexa has always had a crush on you.  With you talking to her now, Tina, and I for that matter- didn't want you finding out that we were a part of this lifestyle from her or if Alexa ever got her way and took you to the club while we were there- well, that's just not the way we would want anyone to find out."

"So... you were worried that I would turn and run after you told me this today???  Mike, as it may not be something that I have experienced, that still doesn't change anything.  Our friendship is just the same now as it was 10 minutes ago.  No one has done anything to change that."  'ding’ (his cell phone chimed)

"OH-What a relief!!!" he exhaled sharply.  "You have to understand that we have actually lost friends because of our choices from them finding out and we were so afraid that you may choose to walk away as well.  Honestly, I can't lose you Mandy.  I just can't!"

"Mike, you are not going to lose me.  We may be from a small town working in the big city, but I am not as narrow minded as other people and even though you are having porn movie secret fun that I may not fully understand, that doesn't mean that I am going to judge you on it." I was quick to reassure him.  I loved him.  I loved them both and I will have to admit that it did hurt a little that they felt that they couldn't trust me enough with this, but I suppose I could see where he was coming from.  I mean, Tina's closet of scantily clad clothing that Mike had purchased for her makes so much more sense to me now!  "Is there anything else that is causing you a panic attack that you need to get off your chest, or was that the grand slam?"

"That's it.  There is no more that I am prepared to talk about, and I am sure that you don’t want to know all the details so I will gladly spare you of that.  I honestly do feel a huge weight has been lifted though"

"You deserve every bit of guilt you felt, but I understand" I stated

"Say, are you still going to meet Alexa for dinner now?  You know- now that you know more about her?" he was pensive when he asked me that, I wonder why?

"Yes, why wouldn't I?  She has not done anything besides be super nice to me" I was getting confused again

"Super nice huh?  Are you sure she hasn't been flirting with you?" Was he jealous?  Why the hell would he be jealous???  'ding’ (his cell phone chimed)

"I am sure that everything will be just fine at dinner." I tried to smile, but I had to admit I was replaying all our conversations and texts through my head from the past week.  "I don't know what you are trying to get at-normally you are supportive of my decisions.  I thought that you would be happy that I am starting to get back into the world again and not keeping myself contained in my little bubble.  What is it that has you so...? weird?"

He sat there for a few moments looking like he was fighting an internal battle with himself before calming a little, making his decision before leaning forward on the table.   ding’ (his cell phone chimed) “I just want you to be happy.  I know I can be overprotective at times, but I honestly only want what’s best for you.  I want you to be happy, but I also want you to be careful.  I am just getting you back and I won't let ANYTHING like that happen again.  

"I love you; you know I do but you will have to trust me and let me make my own choices."   ding’ (his cell phone chimed) “okay, give me your phone..." I said reaching across the table with my palm up and fingers motioning towards myself

"why????" is all he could say.  I am not sure he had even realized the texts coming through.

"Because your phone is now officially annoying.  I know who it is, and I also know that she needs to hear it from me.  She will believe you when you tell her, but she will still have doubts unless she talks to me...now hand it over because we both know that it is going to just keep dinging until you do"

With a sly smirk, knowing that I was in fact right and a look of content that I knew them so well, he reached into his coat retrieving it and handed over his phone.  I pulled up his contacts and called Tina knowing she would be hovering over her phone and not surprised at all that she answered within half a ring...

"So, how did it go?  How did she take the news?  Where are you now?  What did she think?  Did she say anything?"

"Relax Tina and take a breath... I am still here and always will be.  No freak outs, no changes- everything is fine.  Your wardrobe makes a hell of a lot more sense to me now...and I guess I realize now how naive I am, but this doesn't change anything.  It's now 5:30 and I must leave to get to dinner soon.  Now, if you are done your little freak out, I will pass you over to Mike and get going."

"OH, THANK GOD!!!  I didn't think this would change anything but there is always a chance, right?  I love you girl!  I'm okay now, thanks.  Have a good dinner and I will call you this weekend." she replied before I passed his phone back to him and stood up to put my scarf and jacket back on.  Even though this pub was only a few blocks away, I still needed to find parking and I didn't want to be late.  Mike had told Tina that he would call her back when he was on the road home and stood to put his stuff on as well.  We walked out of the coffee shop, both of us feeling so much better then when we entered.  

    Since we were heading in opposite directions, he gave me the biggest hug on the sidewalk to say goodbye but made me promise to text him when I got home.  There was a storm rolling in overnight, but I wasn't too worried.  I already knew that Cody was safe at his friend’s house.  I shook my head as I walked away from him.  I wondered why he had such a tough time telling me.  I mean, this was us- we were so close and always had been- at least that is what I thought before today.  You would've thought that I would be the first person he had told.  It hurt a little, but he must've had a reason for not telling me.  I had this funny feeling that there was more to this then he said, but I had to let him do this in his own time.  I was almost positive that if it weren’t for Tina, he would never have said anything at all, so if I decide I need more answers, I think I know who I must talk to next.

I quickly texted Alexa letting her know that I was on my way and would be there soon.