Prologue
I'm Ava Carter. I'm a member of the Crystal Blue pack; at least I think I am. I don't know if I can refer to myself as a member of a pack that tortures its own pack members for their own twisted satisfaction.
I was the walking punching bag for anyone who felt the need to hit something, or, in my case, someone. It was absolute torture living among these people who you thought would be there to protect you and not cause you even more suffering than you have already endured.
I was a loner not by choice, but nonetheless a loner. It was easy for everyone to take advantage of me since I was the weakling. I was the weakest person in my pack. I wasn't always weak, but over time, as the beatings intensified, I lost communication with my wolf.
I think she was mad that I never stood up for myself, or she was too weak from all the beatings I endured over the years. It wasn't always like this though.
There was once a time in my life when I was somewhat happy.
I was told when I was old enough to understand that my parents left me in a basket at the border of the pack's territory. I was found by border patrol, which then took me back to the pack house.
The Luna took me in almost immediately and raised me as her own. She only had one son and later, after giving birth, she was told by a healer from a faraway pack that she couldn't conceive any more children. I think that was one of the reasons why she took me in.
I was happy, living with the alpha (Benjamin), Luna (Caroline) and their son Caleb. Caroline was the one who named me and gave me their last name, Carter. They were the Carters- loving, kind and gentle.
They always put their people first and made sure that everyone was treated equally. That didn't last long though, and neither did my happiness. The Luna died when I was six and so did my happiness.
After the Luna passed away, everyone blamed me for her death. She died protecting me from a rogue, during the time when there was a rogue attack on our pack.
She had told me to stay hidden in a secret passage when the attack began, but I didn't listen. I was too scared to stay in the passage by myself, so I got out of hiding to find her and that's when it happened.
She was distracted for a second as she tried pleading with me to go back inside. A second, that was all it took, as one of the rogues charged at her and bit into her neck.
All I could do was stand there silently watching as the life drained from her once vibrant eyes. I screamed at the top of my lungs as I ran over to her lifeless body on the ground. The rogues retreated when she fell to the ground with a thud, blood oozing out of her neck.
I hugged her lifeless body with my small hands, sobbing as I got blood all over me. When the alpha found out about what happened from a warrior that was in the room, which was when my life turned to hell.
Even now, at 17, I can still see the hatred in his eyes as if it had happened just yesterday. I knew he blamed me for what happened, because he never failed to remind me how I took his mate from him.
That's when he grew cold and distant. After her death he would punish me for the littlest things, like forgetting to clean the house or something.
Yes. I had to clean the entire pack house that was occupied by at least 50 members. I never complained though, because I always believed that I deserved everything that was happening to me now.
If I had just listened, then their Luna and the woman that I knew as my mother would still be alive. It was my fault and I will spend the rest of my life accepting their punishments, until they forgive me.
