HAVEN
I am so warm and comfy that I don’t want to wake up, but no matter how hard I try to stop it, I am pulled from my dream. For a moment I didn’t know where I was, then I realized the comfy warm thing pressed to my cheek was a chest.
As I slowly wake up, I notice that my arm is wrapped around a lean waist and my legs are tangled with a very masculine set. Awareness hits me when I realize that the hard rock that is poking me in the stomach is actually a very hard c*ck.
Sh*t, I raise my head and stare into a pair of steel gray eyes, the lust in the depths is unmistakable. We stare for what seems like eons, and then his head dips towards me.
Our lips are a millimeter apart, I hold my breath waiting for my first kiss. A loud snore from the other bed has us springing apart. I leap from the bed like it’s on fire, grab my bag and rush to the bathroom.
Remembering the door issue, I hid behind it. F*ck we nearly kissed. Do I want to kiss Erin? Yes I do! Should I kiss Jared? I don’t know.
Relationships don’t happen in the Order, there is no future for us. Yes, I want him, but could I be happy with just a casual thing with him? My body has been craving something more than my own hand can give me.
I had my first heat a couple of months ago and that was f**king hell to deal with on my own, so I had already decided that I needed to find someone to help me next time. But could that be Erin? I know he would take care of me, but are there too many feelings already involved?
The answer to that is yes, there is no way I could just use Erin as a f*ck buddy. If I am truly honest with myself, I have been in love with him since I was twelve.
I get dressed and head to the bedroom, Harry and Benny are both awake now and have pulled on clothes. Avoiding Erin’s eyes, I smiled brightly, “so breakfast at the diner before we head off?”
A round of “f**k yea” answers me and I head next door to wake the rest of the group.
ERIN
f*ck I nearly kissed her, waking up with Haven in my arms felt so f*cking right, and I wanted to kiss her really f*cking bad. She would have kissed me back too. I could see it in her eyes.
Do I want to start something with Haven? I have never been in a relationship before. We don’t do that in the Order, we f*ck to release tension but then move on.
I don’t think I could do that with her. For the first time since I got my first hard-on, I am actually thinking about something long term, and it scares the sh*t out of me.
We have just finished breakfast and I signal for the bill, the boys head to the cars while I pay and Haven uses the restroom. I send them down the street to gas up the cars.
We need to talk about what happened this morning, but we are never alone, so I am going to use this small window to my advantage. As soon as we step outside, I grab her and pull her around the side of the building. I pinned her gently to the wall and placed my forehead against hers.
"What's going on with us baby?" She shrugged her shoulders, and whispered, "I don't know," I cupped her cheek, “I know you watched me in the shower last night baby, and you know I watched you.”
She started to speak but I cut her off. “I don’t know what has changed between us, but something has, and when this mission is done we are going to figure out what to do about this, okay?”
She nods “All I can think about is kissing you baby, it’s driving me f*cking crazy, but I know if I do, I will want more, and we don’t have time for that right now, okay?”
I pressed my lips to her forehead, and she stiffened. “They won’t let us be more than we are, Erin, and I don’t think I can just spend one night with you.”
I closed my eyes, knowing she is right, “We will work it out baby, I promise.” I pulled her into my arms, and she wrapped her arms around me. We stayed like that for a minute before heading to meet the guys.
We get in the back of the SUV and I spend the next couple of hours trying not to touch her, this trip is going to be hell.