GET ME MARRIED

The price you pay

It was simply the best time of my life. It was the most beautiful thing that had ever happened in my life.

“You mean you saw the Eiffel tower?” Ava shrieked from the other end of the line.

“I will be sending you a video. I ate so much, saw so much, my brain can’t stop working.”

“I am so jealous, I want to be married to a rich and famous man too,” she pouted and I chuckled.

“You can’t imagine how much I dream of that.” Tiffany popped on the screen and I smiled.

“Amen to that prayer. But I will choose love over wealth anytime.” Tiana entered. We all went silent, then burst out in laughter at the sarcasm in her tone. Tiffany was always the one saying that line.

“Money, love and whatever she has goes hand in hand.” Tiffany tried defending herself.

“If you were to pick only one?” I questioned.

“Definitely money.” Tiana answered. Her answers never changed, not back then, not now.

“I can pick all, can’t I?” Tiffany frowned.

“No…” we all responded.

“I want all.”

“Me too…” Ava entered.

“Don’t be greedy.”

“It’s called being open-minded and hopeful.”

“It’s being greedy. Pick one.”

“I guess I will pick money…” she answered. However, we knew her, so we waited quietly.

“But what is money without love?” we screamed, expecting that line.

“What is love without money?” Tiana tossed a pillow at her and I laughed, I laughed so hard, my stomach began to hurt. The car finally came to a halt in front of the hotel and I stepped down. My guards with me and their hands were filled with bags and bags upon bags.

“Merci…” I said to the valet, who took the keys to the car and made my way majestically into the hotel.

“Is that a valet?” Tiffany asked with a wide mouth.

“Yes?”

“Is it just my eyes or is that hotel too huge?” Ava went on.

“It’s not as huge, but its…”

“Stop being modest. You are living like a princess right now,” Tiana entered, and I chuckled. Our discussion lasted until I got to my room and the guards came up with the bags. I moved the call to my tablet and made a show for them as if I was on a runway, wearing each and everything I bought, while talking, shrieking, and laughing all at once. We spoke until I ate, then they ate and my parents returned. By the time the call ended, it was late. I was tired, and the rush of the entire day and the excitement that it came with had drained off.

Silence followed. It was unlike the ones I knew. It could be silent, yet peaceful, it could be silent, but worry and burdens of life could make it suffocating, it could be silent and thick with tension. This, however, it was my first time experiencing. It was silent and lonely. The room was too big, the bed too big, my meals too much. Everything in here was supposed to be shared by two, a couple. I was supposed to take pictures with him, to stand on that balcony with him right behind me, to be in that bed and cuddled in his arms. I was supposed to eat my every meal with him, laugh, joke, and talk. Yet, my every step echoed my loneliness, from the bathroom to the very bed.

Like the routine I had acquired over the past one week, I picked my phone and checked my w******p, texts, and calls. There was nothing from Jordan, not even a missed one. I called back, but his number was still unreachable.

“Hey…it’s been a week since I came here. This might be happening too fast, but I miss you. I hope you are safe. Please return home soon.” I texted and went to bed, longing for a man I barely knew and the husband I wanted to know.

Morning came soon enough and once again, I was in the bathroom, staring at my reflection. I poured out the dirt in my mouth, rinsed, and turned to the bathtub. There, I relaxed and tried to think of nothing. I took slow sips of wine to forget, or rather still, to ignore, the surrounding silence.

****

I remained there until I perceived a familiar, yet not so familiar scent. I slowly opened my eyes to meet familiar brown ones and my heart skipped.

“The bathtub isn’t the right place to take a nap,” he said. His voice was sweet, like velvety in my ears as he came closer and squatted beside me. I stared at him, unable to believe that he was there with me.

“How did you?” I stared at the door.

“Aren’t you my wife?” he smiled and scooped a bit of water from the tub as he poured it on my face, like he wanted me to wake up from my slumber.

“I…” I paused, not sure what my answer was supposed to be.

“I am sorry that I left you like that,” he frowned and lowered his gaze.

“You must be disappointed, but I have a reasonable explanation. However, there is no excuse that can be enough. I shouldn’t have left without saying anything.”

“Are you leaving again?” I asked.

“No. Business can wait. I am not leaving my wife like that ever again.” I smiled.

“I was scared something was wrong.” A single tear fell from my eyes. He frowned and shook his head.

“What could be wrong? You were perfect, more than I expected, and the moment I saw you, all the doubts in my heart concerning this marriage disappeared. I know we can make it work. I know we can. I want us to.” he used the back of his hand to caress my cheek.

“I am sorry.” He added, and I smiled. I sat up from the tub gently and folded my legs to my chest to cover my breast then I stared at him. He looked like a dream. In a black suit and perfect hair.

“I brought something for you.”

“Is that a bribe?” I smiled.

“I have a thousand bribes for you, all coming one after the other. But first, we have to get you out of this bathtub.” He placed his hand on the water and trailed it to my back. His fingertips brushed my back. I jerked, and he smiled.

“Don’t worry. It will only happen when you are ready.” I turned to him and met his brown eyes.

“I promise.” My heart eased, and I relaxed. I laid back into the tub and closed my eyes.

****

When I opened my eyes, he was gone. Tears blurred my vision, and a shivered ran over my body and skin. My water had gone cold and the wineglass was on the floor. My heart ached, my body shook, and my misery came out in bids of tears. Was this what I sighed up for? I found myself asking.

I had Nate all this while. I had the perfect man who would do absolutely everything and anything for me. He was there at every moment, every second, and never once disappeared on me. We were fine. He loved me and he was everything. Tiana was right. I could definitely not have everything. I had sacrificed love for money. I didn’t even tell him that I was getting married. Because I was stupid and ashamed and rushed. We didn’t even break up. I had simply ghosted him and he had to find out through my friends. I had all the money in the world and the fame and no love. Was this the sacrifice I made?

Yes, it was. For Ava’s sake, for my family’s sake, this was the sacrifice I made. I got out of the water and wrapped a towel around my chest. For them, I had done this and left a man who had loved me with his everything. I felt so guilty for not loving him back as much as he loved me. This was my punishment. For leaving such a person for the sake of money and a debt I could not pay. This was karma.

But I could not do this anymore. I could not lie to myself or pretend that everything was fine. No amount of clothes, sights, or food I ate would stop the loneliness that was creating a huge vacuum in my heart. I could not.

With that, I returned to my room and began packing. Everything I came with and everything I got there. I packed it all and to my dismay, it took hours. By the time I was done, my breakfast was cold, and I had to request for something else. My driver stared at me weirdly when I came out to receive the new tray and I stared right back at him. Ever since he locked me up in that beautiful dream land vacation house and refused me from using a phone, I had my reservations about him. Yes, he was following orders, and I was simply a nobody who just got married into the house, but taking me to such a beautiful place and locking me up was not very kind, order or not.

“Call my mother-in-law.”

“I am coming back home today.” I announced, and his eyes widened.