My first official day of school and:
1. I was hungover.
2. I had dark circles under my eyes that looked like a's corpse bride.
3. I had a growing feeling that Lucian Lycan was going to cash in on my teasing.
Valery had warned me that it could be a bad start just for insulting him. In normal life, it is bad to insult people, whatever their social standing. In Domus' life, it is only a condemnation to insult the chosen ones. And Lucian was the number one of the chosen ones. There was a large group of people who followed him with political loyalty, who respected the history of the Lycan name, who admired that lineage, who would be willing to turn their backs on me for believing I could defy the wolves.
It was scary if you thought about it, but I decided that if rejection and exclusion were what was coming, I would face it with five feet six inches of height and my chin up, because, yes, it had been foolish to insult Lucian the night before, but I wouldn't admit it.
Of course, I didn't expect what happened.
I walked through the doors of the architectural monster that was the College of Science and Liberal Arts building. Down the halls, a few groups looked at me as if I were the only human being who had evolved from Homo sapiens into a new and toxic species. Others, as I passed them, nodded as if to say, "You're on the right track, girl." In the first class, there were judging and uncomfortable silences, but then, in the next class, a group of girls smiled approvingly at me.
What did it mean? Had I done right or had I done wrong? I wasn't sure, but I felt a certain satisfaction because I'm not going to lie to you, the whole thing unnoticed in the hallways with my head down, biting my lip and clutching my books to my chest. The thing was not my thing. Instead, being seen for having done what no magical being dared to do before? Thank you, thank you, I'll gladly accept it.
Although... maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to claim victory.
There would be consequences for my actions, and I understood that in the last hour when I went to the extra class, I had been able to choose to my liking: literature. The rest was painting, audiovisual, music, or arts and crafts, and I was no good at plastic arts if it wasn't about making stupid or obscene figures with plasticine.
The classroom was, I must say, impressive, like all the ones I had visited that day. The blackboard was a transparent rectangle for writing with acrylic markers. The tables were gleaming white, each with two seats. I sat at the one closest to the large window of blue-tinted glass which overlooked the sprawling green gardens of Domus and waited.
The class quickly filled up with about twenty students. A tall, slender woman with a long neck that reminded me of a swan stood in front of the blackboard. She had a bohemian and interesting air about her, like that of a writer without much success, but with a lot of talent. She said she was Professor Lauris and welcomed us freshmen and sophomores to the Literature class.
“We will form reading pairs," she began to explain. Throughout the semester we will discuss and try to understand new perspectives. Why, for some people, are things blue or, for others, are they yellow? We will try to understand that, so pick one person and switch tables if necessary.
I turned my head to choose someone or to be chosen, ready for my first successful social interaction, but I only saw the empty seat next to me because, out of distracted and trust distraction, I hadn't noticed one little thing: the room had filled up, but no one had sat next to me. My table was the only one with only one member.
All around, students moved from one place to another to find their seats with their partners. I waited for someone and tried to talk to someone, but they all ignored me and avoided my gaze. They pretended that there was no person in my chair, only air.
I was being marginalized, excluded from the herd, and abhorred by the group.
They made the message very clear: no one wants to pair up with you.
In the end, I was left alone. Couples were made and I didn't even get a fly on my back. Did that shock me? Of course, but I hid it.
“Shadow," Professor Lauris said to me over the voices of the students as she realized the situation. She'll share her opinions with me.
Great. And also, my partner would be the teacher, as if I were a rejected elementary school girl, something that had never happened to me before.
Someone scoffed under their breath, but I didn't know who. I decided not to let it get to me. We were adults, weren't we? I took it like an adult.
“Well," the teacher continued, back at the blackboard, with the class quiet and still. I'll write down some...
She was suddenly interrupted by a knock at the classroom door.
We all looked towards the entrance. Fifteen minutes into the class, Viktor Lycan was standing under the door frame. He was holding his backpack in one hand, and a sleepy air enveloped him, his hair too messy. He didn't look like he wanted to be there. He looked like he had just gotten up and gone to class just so he wouldn't be fooled.
In any other case, it was obvious what should happen now: a reprimand from the teacher and a ban from entering, but it wasn't like that for the Lycans. It was never the same for them. I didn't quite know it at the time. I figured it out little by little. It was as if the world was forced to function differently to suit what was best for the three brothers. They were unpunished for what they used to be punished for. They had open doors where there were only walls for others. They were superior only because of their blood and history.
So the teacher gave him an affable smile, without reproach. I even got the impression that she was glad to see him there.
“Lycan, come in," she said, pointing inside the classroom. I was already wondering why you weren't here. I'm afraid you missed the choice of partners; you'll be working with Shadow, who was the only one left alone.
The silence was stony.
“Is that necessary? “he asked after a moment.
“Yes, this time I won't let him work alone. “The teacher gave him no right to reply. Group work is important.
I thought she would say something else, but Viktor walked toward the table without a word, still almost dragging his backpack. A few people whispered things to each other and then looked at me. I kept quiet, not letting anything come out that could give me anything to talk about.
He came to the empty spot and sat down next to me. He dropped his backpack, placed his forearms on the table, and looked straight ahead. A gentle breeze that smelled like male aftershave hit my face and threatened to cause allergies. Note that you don't need: almost everything made me sneeze and I ended up angry about sneezing so much.
The class continued.
“Write down the names of the authors we will be studying this semester," the teacher explained, her back to us. In the meantime, take a sheet of paper and ask your classmate about his or her literary tastes.
I opened my notebook and took out a sheet of paper. I took a pen, made two columns with our names, and was silent for a moment. The truth was that I didn't want to ask Viktor anything. Another of my great defects: I was proud, but you probably already noticed that hehe.
It wasn't necessary anyway.
“The portrait of Dorian Gray," he said suddenly, without looking at me.
It left me puzzled. I liked that book a lot too. I hadn't read all the books in the world, of course, but during a long time when I hadn't felt like socializing with anyone, reading became one of my refuges, and those kinds of stories that reflected human errors and rottenness were among my favorites.