Hearts Incarcerated

Chapter 3

TW: Mention of self-harm in this chapter

Tossing and turning most of the night left me in a terrible mood today.

Taking a sip of coffee I opened the files on my computer, having seen my last patient for the day.

Bringing up Jax Delton's file, I began to read.

Leo had been right, he had a long rap sheet.

The last was attempted murder years ago.

According to this, that would mean he would be able to get out this year.

My phone chimed, pulling me from my investigation.

It was a text from Leo asking if I'd mind a visit.

Sighing, I sent him a quick text back agreeing before turning back to the screen.

Jax Delton seemed to be a troubling case.

I also noticed that he seemed to have a tendency towards violence.

"What is making you tick, Jax?" I scanned his earlier files from his juvie cases.

He was an extremely troubled teen, so the anger was nothing new.

Sighing, I leaned back, hanging my head off the back of my chair and glaring at the ceiling.

I hoped that Penny would be able to give me more insight into why this was, but I wasn't about to hold my breath.

Even in his files, there was very little mention of his mother.

"I have my work cut out with this one," I threw my pen down onto my desk and dropped my head into my hands

"Hard day?"

I looked up, smiling at Leo, well the coffee in his hands to be more accurate.

"Yeah, no, I don't know. I'm busy going over Jax's files. My job is to get into their head and figure out what's wrong so that I can fix it before he gets out of here so that he doesn't end up back here. Again."

Leo came over placing a coffee in front of me, "You know, Indigo, sometimes these guys are just messed up for no reason and there's nothing you can do for them."

I shrugged a shoulder, "I don't agree with you. Your job is to see the black and white areas, my job is to see and fix the grey areas. Let's not attempt to do each other's jobs, okay?"

Leo seemed a bit peeved at my comment but he recovered and smiled, "Right. Of course," he took a seat opposite me, "I just don't think that you should beat yourself up over it if you can't help one or two of them, you know? It's sad but you win some and you lose some with all things in life and this is no different."

"Yes, but the difference here is that we're talking about lives. These people you put in here are lives. Not just numbers, Leo."

"You're right, I know that they just do so many bad things that I shut down and stop seeing them as people, and I know it's wrong of me," he shrugged, "But seeing the way your eyes light up, your passion for people, it's amazing. And I really hope you can help Delton."

"Thank you. I hope so too, I have a meeting with his mom soon, I'm hoping," I threw my hands up, "I don't even know what I'm hoping."

"Maybe I could go with you? I mean, I know this is only the second time I'm seeing you, but I'd really like to see where this goes, and if this is your life then I would like to be a part of it."

I would have responded had Jackson not come barging into my office looking white as snow.

I jumped to my feet, "What is it?"

"Situation, come. Bring your emergency kit."

Leo was asking what was happening but there was no time to speak, someone must have been hurt.

Grabbing my medical box I motioned for Leo to follow us, "Jackson, Leo's a cop. Who is it? And what happened?" I asked as the three of us speed walked.

"Delton."

I wasn't sure why but my heart almost stopped, "Did someone hurt him?" I asked.

"Man, Indi, I don't know. I think he hurt himself."

We reached his cell and I froze, which wasn't normal for me.

I had seen a lot of bad things working in the prison, nothing phased me.

"Jackson, open the cell."

Jackson swallowed, "He's threatened to hurt anyone who goes in there."

Leo grabbed my arm, "You can't go in there alone! Look at him!"

I ripped my arm away from his grip, "Yes, look at him!" I spun around again, "Open this cell. Now."

Jackson opened it and as I walked in Leo attempted to follow, but I shoved him out and motioned for Jackson to close the cell, which he did.

Turning back to Jax I took in the scene.

He sat with his back against the wall, covered in blood, a homemade blade in hand.

"Jax? Can you hear me?"

"Get outta here, Hart."

"Jax, that's not going to happen. If I walk out of here you will die."

"Then let me die!" He shouted, causing me to flinch.

"Indi-"

I cut Leo off abruptly, "Just shut up, Leo," I took a small step closer to Jax, "I'm just going to come a bit closer, can you give me that shank?"

He looked up at me and his grey eyes held more sadness than I had ever seen in my life, "Indi... I don't want to do this."

I knelt in front of him, taking the knife and setting it behind me while getting my medical supplies ready, "You did this to yourself?"

"Yeah."

"Why?" I asked while I tended to the gashes along his arms.

His eyes didn't leave my hands, "I don't wanna be here but I don't wanna be out there either. Ain't nothing out there for me."

"That's the fear lying to you, there is a lot out there, Jax."

I worked in silence then, right until I was done, and he placed his hand over one of mine, "I know it's your job, but thank you."

I put my other hand over his, "Hey, please don't do this again. If you need to talk, you come to me, that's my job. If I'm at home, you get the guard on duty to call me and I'll be here, okay?"

He looked up with a sad smile, "Thank you, Indi."

"You need to go to the infirmary now, I'll come and talk to you after I get cleaned up."

He nodded and I stood, walking out, "Jackson, get him to the infirmary. I'll be there just now."

Leo sighed, "That was... I've never seen anything like that. You really care about these guys. But my God, you take such risks."

I shrugged, "It's my job. I need to get cleaned up and go talk to Jax, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I understand. Could I maybe see you again, preferably not in a prison or while you're covered in bl*od."

I laughed, "That sounds good, dinner tomorrow?"

"I'll text you the time and place. Stay safe in here."

I glanced down at the blo*d drying on my clothes, this had been an interesting night.

I had realized that Jax needed even more help than I had originally thought.

××

I stood in the doorway watching Jax as he lay in the bed.

I had requested that he be in the solitary room so that I could speak to him.

A session at almost eleven at night was something new.

He looked over suddenly, "Hey, Blue," he smirked, "See, you can't stay away from me."

Well, he was back to being his c*cky self, that was for sure.

"Jax, what happened tonight, we need to talk about that."

"You have late-night sessions with all of us?"

I shook my head as I took a seat beside the bed, "No, but I don't usually have a patient in such high demand of my help. Why did you hurt yourself?"

"I'm scared, I guess. What if I can't make it out there?"

"So you give up before even trying?" Why was I not being professional here?

"Yeah, well, that's better than failing again, Blue."

"Jax, it's okay to be scared, but you can't just give up. I've helped so many people just like you, and they got out and made an amazing life for themselves, and you can do the same. Don't let your past determine your future."

"Can I do this?" he asked as he pulled one of my hands onto the bed in his.

"No you can't that's unprofessional," I said, but I didn't move my hand, "Jax, we can get you a job and a home-"

"Nah, who's gonna sign for me? I gotta have someone agree to keep an eye on me, remember?"

"I will help you with all of that, there's nothing to be afraid of out there, I promise."

"Yeah? Do you think I can do it? You really believe I can do it?"

"Yes, I do. I believe in you one hundred percent."

"You're probably the first person to say that to me," he looked down, "Hey, Blue? Do you think you could stay with me a bit? I don't wanna be alone."

I didn't respond, because I should have said no, but I didn't say no, and instead, I stayed.