Mate against her will

Secret intention

Medaline

I felt emotions piling up as I pushed the memories that choked me up, down.

Remembering how he f****d up my life wasn't a thing I wanted to do today or ever. I didn't want to remember how horrible and hard it was, all I wanted to do was crawl up into a small space and hide. To run probably and never look back, but that wasn't possible because I am not going to jump out of this car.

I stared at the road in front of me, pretending to feel his presence next to me, pretending that his scent alone was bringing me to the edge and I was moments away from my heat properly starting.

And I knew that my logic and even my feelings wouldn't be important... just the unignorable hunger.

That was how I got into bed with Edgar.

I was on the edge and I was sure that I could get through this without breaking. I helped him settle in to the base when I hit the top point of the heat then. In a few seconds, my pheramones filled the room and we were on top of each other.

I can still remember his rough hands on my back, throwing me onto the bed and ripping my clothes off.

He wasn't gentle and I didn't want to be gentle... I wanted rough and hard. Edgar in some way understood that and gave me the best it could. I was about to come, about to reach the very top... but there was something missing.

The little push that would send me flaying wasn't there.

Edgar reached his peak in a few moments, but mine never came. I was left laying there on my stomach with Edgar on my back.

When he pushed himself off me, I almost started to cry, feeling the frustration reaching the edge that sent me crying.

That night I spent in Edgar's arms wasn't for making love but for crying out my frustration.

The memory made me smile a little. Edgar was a great friend.

By some miracle, he understood what I was feeling and why I was feeling in this way. He wasn't judging me, but he was feeling a little bit sorry for me.

He didn't ask for details or explanations, he just held me in the most platonic way.

And that was how my relationship with my team was.

We f****d on my heat like crazy, but other than that, we were just friends.

Sadness gripped my chest mixed with a little bit of panic as I thought about my team and the people that were in the house when Percy arrived.

FUCK.

I hadn't thought about them until now.

What a piece of s**t I am.

"What happened to them?"

I asked Percy, my voice sounding distant and cranky.

"To who?"

"My men that you found in my house."

"The men that were naked in your room waiting to f**k you?"

I swallowed hard as I heard the tone of his voice.

Shit, he killed them.

I felt emotions gripping my chest as tears started to choke me.

"Yea."

"I knocked them out and called Emanuel to collect them as they are part of his pack."

Relief filled my chest, replacing that panic and fear that was filling my chest before.

"I should have killed them, but it isn't my place and killing them would only create unneeded tension between me and Emanuel. So no matter how much I wanted to rip their heads off, I knew that it would solve anything..."

I could feel anger radiating from him and all my instincts told me to get close to him and sooth his anger. To climb into his lap and streak his chest until he calmed down.

The worse part is that I was sure that he would calm down and I almost did it.

My f****d up mate's head.

I leaned back in my car seat and released a breath of relief.

This f*****g day is never ending and I was so tired already.

My emotions were all over the place and all I wanted to do was cry or rub myself against him.

I noticed the familiar surroundings as we crossed the borders between Emanuels territory and Percys.

There was no border control here, so we got in really quickly. Maybe it was because they knew that it was their alpha behind the wheel.

I pushed those thoughts away as memories started to surface.

I remember running through these streets, blood dripping down my neck... tears running down my cheeks.

It felt like it was yesterday, when that happened.

When I ran through his city and out of his territory...

I ran like that for hours until I reached Emanuel's borders and his security team collected me. They first called him and then were instructed to take me to his place.

I know that he felt our connection disappearing the moment Percy's teeth pierced my skin. He knew that something was wrong.

The security head had to carry me to his office as I silently cried into his chest.

Emanuel, without any questions, collected me at the door and instructed the team to return to work.

I spent the next three days like that.

In his guest bedroom, feeling the pulsating hole in my chest as tears ran down my cheek.

My whole body was in pain, craving to be close to Percy. Craving the feel of his skin against mine, craving his warm arms wrapping around me as he promised me that everything would be alright.

But that wasn't going to happen.

After day three, I finally moved out of bed, took a shower and dragged myself down the stairs.

Emanuel was at my side the moment I left the room, quiet and helpful. Not asking any questions, just making sure that I was alive and giving me what I needed.

We walked to the kitchen side by side and he made me soup.

I stopped crying then and the next time I did was with Edgar almost a year later, but after that not a tear ran down my cheek until tonight.