Rejected and in Heat

I Need More

He placed her in the bathtub, fully dressed, and turned on the shower. He needed to get her body temperature down and decide if she needed to go to the pack doctor. Maybe he could come here? She would be so angry if he called, but she was in bad shape. He used a cloth to wipe her face and pushed her hair back from her face. “Maya, I need you to pull out of this. Please? You’re scaring me.” He let the cool water flow around her and sponged her face for what felt like an hour. He still wasn't getting a response from her. He pulled off his shirt, then ripped off the remains of her shirt and leaned her forward so he could slip into the tub behind her.

He closed the shower curtain to minimize the water spraying on the floor. She rested with her back on his bare chest. He lathered her hair with shampoo, careful not to let it get into her eyes. Then he bathed her with her bra and shorts still on. He wanted to get the sweat and vomit off of her. All the while, he whispered to her, "Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to leave you for so long. Why didn't you call me when you needed me?" He went on with his one-sided conversation. "I promise I won't ever leave you again. I just need you to snap out of this. I will give you anything you need to make it through this, but please, please be okay. I will never forgive myself if you're not."

He shook his head and laughed harshly, "Goddess, I didn't know this could happen. I don't know what to do, Maya! I need you to tell me what you need." Finally, she woke up, but there was a blank stare in her eyes; he didn't see the vibrant girl he had known his whole life or the strong woman she had become. “Hey, Maya, do you know who I am?” She nodded her head but didn't speak her answer. “I need you to tell me. What’s my name?” Her voice was hoarse, “Josh. I know who you are, okay?” She turned her face away from him but didn’t move away, so he continued.

“Good. Now I’m going to call the pack doctor. Maybe he has something to help you.” He reached for the edge of the tub to stand up. She grabbed his wrist, “No. No doctor. No one is going to know about this.” They stared at each other in a silent battle, and finally, he gave in. "Fine. I will clean up your room and get you a change of clothes. Can you get out of the tub when you're ready, or do you need my help?" She didn't look at him, "I can do it." Josh nodded and left the bathroom.

Once her room was cleaned, he rummaged through her drawers to find something for her to wear. He grabbed the first pair of underwear and pajamas he found. Then he knocked at the door, “Maya, are you okay? I have your clothes.” She called out to him, sounding much more like her usual self, “Yeah, I’m good. You can just bring them in.” He opened the door to see the shower curtain was pulled. He placed the clothes on the toilet and leaned against the vanity. “Do you want to talk about it?” He heard her sigh, “No, but I will. Just give me a minute. Hand me a towel.” The water turned off, and she lifted her arm from the curtain. He handed her a big, fluffy white towel. She stepped out, wrapped herself in the towel, and approached him. She looked at him for a few minutes, then slid her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest.

“I don’t know what happened. I was fine, but then it hit me so hard and fast. It was horrible. My mind was replaying his rejection. Then it changed into different things. Sometimes, you were there too.” He rubbed her back in soothing circles. Part of him didn't want to know, but he had to ask, "What did you see? What did you see me do?" She shuddered and squeezed him tighter, "You rejected me too. No matter how much I offered or begged, you walked away. You said I was a fumbling girl who couldn't compare to the women you had been with."

Josh pulled her back so he could look into her eyes. "I promise you that thought has not crossed my mind. I had no intention of leaving you here to suffer alone. I just had a lot on my mind and needed time to think. I still don't have all the answers, but I can tell you nothing is wrong with you. You are beautiful, smart, and funny. That boy was an i***t who will one day learn what he gave up. There is no greater gift than finding your fated mate. There is nothing to be embarrassed about just because you haven't been intimate with anyone."

She gave a little snort, "Well, I'm not completely inexperienced. I've had boyfriends, but they didn't get very far. I thought I would share all those things with my mate." Josh walked her across the hall to his room. "We can sleep in here tonight." She nodded her head and snuggled up next to him. Once they were comfortable, he told her, "Just because I'm not your mate doesn't mean that sharing these things isn't special." He kissed the top of her head, "I mean, that sounds kinda weird, but even if you decide to have s*x with someone that is not your mate, that moment, if done for the right reasons, can be a special memory for you and that person. I wouldn't just give it away to someone who doesn't care." She pulled away from him to look into his eyes. She just searched them for a few minutes; then she dared to ask him, "Can you be that someone?"

Josh took in a deep breath and slowly let it go. "I don't think I can be that person in the way you're asking me to be. I mean, I'm trying to be okay with this to a certain point, but no, I don't think I would be okay with having s*x with you if that's what you were asking. You should decide who you want to share that with when you have had time to think more about it and are not in heat. It's not that I find anything about you to be a turn-off. Besides being my best friend's sister, we grew up together." He gave her a playful nudge as he said the last of it.

She nodded her head in acceptance. "I am more than just Mark's sister or John and Mary's daughter. Maybe if you got to know me, you could see past that. I think I should feel more guilty for asking you to spend this weekend with me because of Cathy, but I don't. Maybe because I know she isn't your fated mate or even your chosen mate," She paused for a second, "I mean, are you thinking she could be your chosen mate?"

Josh didn't hesitate to answer, "I did toss the idea around a little bit. She's great, and I care about her, but if I can be here with you like this, even if I feel guilty, it tells me she isn't the one. I still have plenty of time to find that person, fated or chosen, so I'm not worried about it. Maybe once I finish college, I will take some time off to travel and look for her. I haven't decided. What about you? Have you given any thought as to how you're going to handle this in the future? You do need some kind of plan."

She shrugged one shoulder. "I know, but I've been focused on making it through the next few days. Then I will have a few months to develop a plan." They lay there in silence, both deep in their thoughts. Suddenly, Maya sat up, "Hey, do you want to go for a late-night swim?" He eyed her as if she was scheming something, and she laughed. "Come on! Relaxing in the pool and looking at the stars will be nice." Josh followed her to the pool house, and they both changed into suits. It was a hot night with no breeze, but the water was comfortable.

Maya turned on the music before grabbing a soda from the outdoor fridge and hopping onto a popsicle-shaped float. Josh made his way out of the pool house after she did and grabbed a green float. Josh was the first to speak, "You know what I think you should do?" Maya lazily looked over at him, "Hmm?" He said, "I think you should graduate early and leave here. You could go to one of the colleges close enough to make your parents happy but get your own apartment. If you go to one of the predominantly werewolf schools, you could get away with missing class when you're in heat. If you're lucky, most days will fall on a weekend, right?"

Maya floated by him but continued to stare up into the night sky. "Okay, that kinda takes care of keeping my secret, but how do I handle it alone?" Josh wasn't very sure about that. "Maybe the college's clinic will have an answer for you. I know they do all kinds of student health checks; surely they have some experience dealing with this."

Maya frowned, "Ugh, I don't know. There has to be a logical way to deal with it. Maybe I could find a boyfriend, but that will take a while. It's not like some dude will jump as soon as he meets me." Josh laughed, "You don't know anything about college boys. They would jump at anything that offered." Then he caught what he was saying and coughed, cutting off his laughter. "Uh, I mean, most college guys. I don't do that. Well, I kinda got enough of that in high school". Maya gave him a flat look, but his float had him facing away from her so he couldn't see her. "No, you just date them for a few months and then leave them for the next one that catches your eye. There are probably many girls that never even make it that far."

Josh bristled a little, "Hey! I'm not that bad. I have ended things on good terms with almost every girl I have dated, thank you!" Maya shrugged, "So, what's the deal then? Why are you not committed for the long term?" Josh trailed his hand in the pool water while he thought about how to answer the question. "That's complicated, but ultimately, none of them have met my needs or standards...uh, that doesn't sound right, but I don't know how else to say it. They're great, but I just need something more."