My Shifting Mate

Chapter 3

Jaiden Pov

~The Diary Entry~

George ignored me all up until my birthday. He turned eighteen before me, then Liane turned eighteen, and then Alice. They were all older than me, but only by a few days, all of us turning eighteen within the same week it seemed. On my birthday I discovered George was my true mate. Liane was still chasing after Brian, she had stupidly told him that she was the one sending him the love notes all through high school and he thought she was a creepy stalker. I tried telling her to keep it secret but then Alice said something about how a relationship made on lies was already doomed and then she felt determined to tell him. I never could understand why she liked him. Alpha Brian was handsome I suppose, his tall mountain-like build, his chiseled body, his short light brown hair and dark blue eyes, his quiet demeanor. He was always off to himself, growling at anyone who tried to befriend him, which happened a lot through high school since he was the Alpha’s son, the next Alpha to lead. Alice was the same as always, quiet, reserved, in pain, always in pain. Stubborn, angry, always angry. I went to school that morning and nearly ran into George, practically falling in his lap. A girl tripped me when I was preoccupied, disoriented by having a new wolf and feeling a mate pull at the same time. The girls always tripped me, thinking it was funny, the only difference was the electricity between George as he caught me, as he held me close, as he pressed me against him and didn’t let go. That was the day he finally noticed I existed, the best day of my life.

Alice said I was stupid. She said I spent so much time loving him from afar, and then accepting him to suddenly love me just because a bond was telling him to. Then again that didn’t matter, Alice seemed to hate everything when it came to love. She hated all things about true mates, spit on it, refused it, and I couldn’t help but worry about her future. Would she live this bitter forever, or would someone stubborn and amazing come and sweep her off her feet, the way George did me? It didn’t bother me that he only realized I existed when the mate bond between us told him we were meant for each other. It probably should have, but it was everything I had always wanted, everything I had always dreamed of, and finally having it come true made it perfect, as it should be. That’s what happens when you get true mates, just like my mama and daddy, perfect. I tried to show this to Alice, but she was so wrapped up in her own past, and it didn’t help that Liane was struggling as well.

Brian finally accepted her, but not even a week later his father died. It was a shock to everyone that Alpha Hector would die, that giant man was even more like a mountain than Brian was. Within the week they were married, and Liane learned fast she had to step up. Luna Renee crumbled, lost without her husband, and Alpha Brian showed his true colors. A brat, a child trapped in a man’s body, incapable of caring for others. He didn’t want to be Alpha of the pack, we could all see it, but there wasn’t another to take over for him. He did love Liane, in his own way, he was possessive of her and controlling, always wanting her close to him and demanding whatever attention she had. She was so busy, trying her best to run the pack by herself, her heart bothering her as she tried her best to push through it all. He would accuse her of cheating on him all the time and it didn’t help matters at all. It didn’t surprise me when she announced to Alpha Brian that Alice would be his Beta and I would be her Gamma. He didn’t even bat an eye at it, actually he liked the idea because he knew we were smart, and because it would free up some of her time. She needed help, and the man-baby was useless. Yes, I know it’s wrong to talk about my Alpha like that, but he’s not my Alpha anymore, not now.

I was distracted. We were all distracted. Madam Renee came back with vengeance, upset Alpha Brian let Liane run the pack while she was in distress. He didn’t care, he just didn't want to do it himself. Then it became like a pissing contest between Renee and Liane, and Liane just wasn’t strong enough. Her heart was weak, a hole in it since she was a baby. Honestly, she shouldn’t have ever become Luna, the expectancy of having an heir was too high, she had no choice. She was pregnant fast, even weaker, fading, and Renee was a bully. I was distracted, trying to help her, to help the pack, to train even though I wasn’t up to par to really be a Gamma, and arrangements for a wedding. George and I wanted a big wedding, and since he was going to be the second Gamma it was supposed to be big anyway. I got lost in all the activity, I forgot about the feeling of being watched, the tingles at the back of my neck that made the hair stand up. I forgot about all of it, even if they didn’t forget about me. I do regret not being able to see her baby, not being able to hold it in my arms, to know she was okay and survived the pregnancy. It’s a constant worry of mine, the fear that she might have died, without knowing how much I loved her like a sister. She went through so much, I wish I could have been by her side to help her. I had to be content knowing Alice was there, since she was even closer to Liane than I was.

The attack wasn’t planned. It might have seemed that way, but I know for a fact that it wasn’t. Bear shifters don’t just attack, they’re usually quiet, sheltered, lazy. They usually only attack if they feel threatened, and when they do attack they attack wildly, their anger explosive. There is a nest of bear shifters in the woods an hour away from our pack. Nestled in the middle of our pack, and the Blood Moon pack. There were shifter packs everywhere, but this particular shifter pack was nothing but bears. That’s what shifters did, in case you didn’t know. They formed packs based on what they shifted into. Nine times out of ten the child would be what the parents are. They never crossbreed, afraid of what the combination of the child would be. A bear always found another bear to be with, and usually always produced a bear. If on the off chance the child turned eighteen and shifted into something else, they’d leave their parents and find a pack of whatever animal they were, living on their own and never seeing their family or friends again. It was horrible, it was sad, but it was how they lived their lives and it didn’t seem to bother them.

~Jaiden~

“Jaiden, what are you doing?” Her voice made me jump and I tried my best to look natural, placing the bookmark into the book and closing it. I wanted nothing more than to run to my room and shove the book under the mattress, out of her view, but that would be suspicious. I was known for reading, so if I relaxed and played it cool she wouldn’t notice, hopefully.

“Mother,” I said, nodding my head to her in greeting. I was aggravated with myself, picking a place that was easy to be spotted. I was tired of being cooped up in my room and I ventured to the giant windows in the living room, the long window seat. The lighting here was amazing, it used to be my favorite place to read when I was little before I got older and suffocated by being forced to stay in this house, never being able to leave. I hated this house now, everything in it, and pretty much everyone.

“You didn’t answer my question.” She said, glaring at me through angry green eyes. I sighed, sitting up and slipping the book into my lap. Book? Who was I kidding? This was a journal, a handwritten journal. I wanted nothing more than to have a solid eight or so uninterrupted hours to read it, but every time I got through a couple of paragraphs someone seemed to always pop out, always needing me for something. It was exhausting, tiring. I wished they’d all just go away. This woman, the more I read about her, the more I needed to know. Who was she? What was her story doing in this journal, in this library? How did she end up here? What happened to her? I needed to know, so much that I flexed my fingers, annoyed.

“I’m just reading a book, mother,” I said, sighing. Why ask me stupid questions when it’s obvious what I’m doing?

She glared at me, raising an eyebrow as I stood. I was taller than her, and I put the book behind my back casually, clasping my hand over my wrist. She rolled her eyes at me. “Yes, Jaiden, I can see that. I mean, what are you doing here when you’re needed in the hall?” She asked, her voice coming out sharp. I looked at her with a puzzled expression and she sighed. “I’ve always hated your eyes.” She muttered. I nodded, letting her criticism brush over me, I was used to it. I looked nothing like her, maybe she hated the fact that her child didn’t look like her. “Your father must have told you, today you’re to meet your wife.” She said to me.

I sighed, nodding at her. I had forgotten about the arranged marriage with one of the girls in the pack. I forgot about it because I despised it, and I wanted nothing to do with it. This happened all the time. Ever since I turned fifteen my father would parade women in front of me, calling them my fiance. Of course, all the eligible women volunteered for the position, the chance to be the future leader’s wife. I tried my best to ignore them, hiding somewhere around the house and when I was found and forced to be near them I refused to speak to them. It wasn’t fair to them but it was all superficial and I wanted nothing to do with it. I hated being alone, I hated the idea of being kept in this house with no company except my hateful parents, only seeing the members of my pack whenever they came to give reports or for stupid arranged marriage meetings. Father was convinced people were looking for me, out to get me, searching for me because of an event that happened long ago before I was born. I couldn’t understand why he was so worried, but all he would say when I asked him was ‘Your looks will give you away.’ It didn’t make sense to me, nothing did, but I was never told anything.

That was why I wanted to sit here and read this journal. It was different from the books with fantasy stories, this was real. It pulled me, called me, yearning for me to read it. Who was this woman? Why was her story calling me? I followed my mother to my room, watched as she picked out an outfit. She left and I put it on, uncaring. It didn’t matter, It never did. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want to be alone. I prayed every night to find the one I was meant for, the other half of my soul. I would dream about her sometimes, always a shadow, never a face or a feature I could recognize. But it was enough to give me hope, to know that someday, I would find the one I was meant to be with, and I would love her with everything in me.