SECRET 3
2398 Words
- continuation
"What?" She said. "I have to go." I said. And stood up without waiting her response. I heard Katharina and Carla calling my name but I didn't responded.
Why?
I saw Chase at the building.
I run towards the building and saw Chase on the stairs, sitting.
"Chase!" I called him and he look up. "What are you doing here?" He ask. "I saw you. Can you walk?" I ask him. "No." He answered.
Now I get why Chase is not playing, he can't walk. Henry broke his leg.
I help him stood up so I can drive him home. "Where are your car key?" I said. "Why?" He ask back. "I'm driving you home." I said and he get the key to his pants.
It felt weird. He's quiet and I can feel that he wants to say something, but he couldn't. But I get it, this is the moment he's been waiting for, the game. But now?
I put him inside his car and I start driving. We're both quiet at the trip.
I look at him.
"What are you two fighting?" I ask him. "Who are you for me to tell that? It wasn't your business, so stay away with it." I chose to stay quiet, I know he's mad I can feel it to his tone, he is irritated or something like that. I drove him at the shortcut, so his parents can treat him earlier.
"Okay, I know you're mad and it is clearly not my business, but I still care about you, and Henry. You two are like the most important person in my life right now. And Henry's business is mine too." I said to him. I heard him giggle. "What are you? Special? Special to him, special to me. I don't even know why you're driving me home." He said.
I look at him and stop the car.
"So, is that what you really think of me? Not important? You promised! You promised Chase!" I shouted and he look terrified in his serious face. "You said after the game, I will be one of them! What? You're just playing with me? You're just making me look like a fool? For what?! Did Austin know about us? Or maybe he force you to do it!" I said.
"What are you talking about?
I-I feel terrible. Why I didn't think of it? Why I didn't think, that he's one of the jock? That he can play with me. Why am I so stupid?
I JUST WANT TO FEEL BEING LOVED!
Because I never felt it, even my parents are still alive. I felt broken.
"I love you Chase, I never felt this before. I don't even know why, you! I can love a girl, but I chose you!" I said and I can feel my tears on my cheeks. "All I know is that I can feel that the reason why you're mad at me because of course of the game, but I could feel that maybe you don't really want me and you don't want to do the promise you said from the first time we did it, and the last time we did it!" I gasped for air before I continued "Tell me Chase, who am I to you? Do you love me? Do you ever felt love? When we're having s*x? When we're sharing moments to each other, is that real or not?"
Fuck, I felt so cheesy. But this is what dumb people get, this is what gays get or bisexual or yes maybe this is what I will get! The people who are easily fall for someone without any reason, that's what we get.
This is the most dumbest thing I've ever ask. If a person loved you back. But, I know his answer, no. He loves Sarah, and I am just a third wheel, that no one knows.
"You're my favorite person."
And at that moment, I lost control. I don't know why. Maybe because I'm stupid, an i***t.
I heard a loud noise that made an echo inside the car.
I slowly look to Chase, his forehead is bleeding while his head is on the dashboard, where my hands is at his head.
"f**k!" I said and went outside to open the other side of the car. I look around, and no one's passing by. It's like a dead road.
So quiet.
The only lights is from Chase car, no other light, and the road was in the middle of the forest.
The scariest thing I encounter in my whole life.
I open the door and I saw Chase holding a gun, pointing it to me. "Don't you dare!" He said in his confident voice. "Chase, I didn't mean to." I said and he went outside, trying to stand by himself, even tho he can't. "I rather walk in a small steps, forcing myself to stand and walk, than be with a crazy person like you!" He said and he keep walking backwards while pointing the gun to me. "You're not just crazy, you're crazy in love! Stay away from me weirdo before I shoot you with this in the head!"
I don't know what to do, I'm just standing here, looking at him, while his hurting himself, by forcing his broken leg to work.
After a second, he fall and drop the gun on the grass. I run towards the gun but Chase hold my feet that makes me fall on the grass. He crawl towards me and tried to get the gun first. I keep searching for the gun using my hand but Chase got it first.
I tried to get the gun to his hand, until he pulled the trigger. A loud noise was released from the gun and we both stop and look to each other.
This Chase in front of me, it's not Chase. It's not the Chase I know, he is not the boy I know, he's different.
"Who are you?" I ask him and shove his head using my arm. I heard a crack from the distance so I look fast and I was shock when I saw Chase lying on the ground, his eyes are wide open, and his head was tilt, looking in my direction, like he's staring to me.
"Chase?" I called his name. "Chase?" I called him again, but no response. I kneel down and look at him. I was shock when there's a blood from his head, spreading on the grass. "Chase?!" I shake his body, I tried waking him up, but....
He's dead.
I felt the tears on my cheeks, and this time, I didn't stop it from falling down. I let my emotion out.
I killed him, not intentionally, but accidentally.
I killed him because of love, because of hate. You know? When love meets hate, the result is a disaster.
Now I believe that love is toxic.
Because you can do anything, from the power of love. By the energy of it. Sometimes it's good, but sometimes it's deadly.
I should let myself being hurt because of love, I should let myself down, because finding love, isn't finding the person you truly belong. You're just finding love because of attraction of it, because you want to fit in, you don't want to get left out.
You know?
I just want to feel, what it feels if someone is loving you, and it happened, but I'm not sure anymore if I did.
Showing love is easy, but giving it is hard. It's hard to give your trust to someone, because you expect that the trust you gave, the same trust that will came back to you. But if not, your heart isn't the one who's gonna broke, your soul too.
I felt my soul left my body, but the difference this time, it didn't came back.
It never did
I look to my hands, to my both bloody hands. I wipe the blood on my hands using my white shirt that I'm wearing.
Shit.
What did I do?
What should I do?
re driving me home." He said.
I look at him and stop the car.
"So, is that what you really think of me? Not important? You promised! You promised Chase!" I shouted and he look terrified in his serious face. "You said after the game, I will be one of them! What? You're just playing with me? You're just making me look like a fool? For what?! Did Austin know about us? Or maybe he force you to do it!" I said.
"What are you talking about?
I-I feel terrible. Why I didn't think of it? Why I didn't think, that he's one of the jock? That he can play with me. Why am I so stupid?
I JUST WANT TO FEEL BEING LOVED!
Because I never felt it, even my parents are still alive. I felt broken.
"I love you Chase, I never felt this before. I don't even know why, you! I can love a girl, but I chose you!" I said and I can feel my tears on my cheeks. "All I know is that I can feel that the reason why you're mad at me because of course of the game, but I could feel that maybe you don't really want me and you don't want to do the promise you said from the first time we did it, and the last time we did it!" I gasped for air before I continued "Tell me Chase, who am I to you? Do you love me? Do you ever felt love? When we're having s*x? When we're sharing moments to each other, is that real or not?"
Fuck, I felt so cheesy. But this is what dumb people get, this is what gays get or bisexual or yes maybe this is what I will get! The people who are easily fall for someone without any reason, that's what we get.
This is the most dumbest thing I've ever ask. If a person loved you back. But, I know his answer, no. He loves Sarah, and I am just a third wheel, that no one knows.
"You're my favorite person."
And at that moment, I lost control. I don't know why. Maybe because I'm stupid, an i***t.
I heard a loud noise that made an echo inside the car.
I slowly look to Chase, his forehead is bleeding while his head is on the dashboard, where my hands is at his head.
"f**k!" I said and went outside to open the other side of the car. I look around, and no one's passing by. It's like a dead road.
So quiet.
The only lights is from Chase car, no other light, and the road was in the middle of the forest.
The scariest thing I encounter in my whole life.
I open the door and I saw Chase holding a gun, pointing it to me. "Don't you dare!" He said in his confident voice. "Chase, I didn't mean to." I said and he went outside, trying to stand by himself, even tho he can't. "I rather walk in a small steps, forcing myself to stand and walk, than be with a crazy person like you!" He said and he keep walking backwards while pointing the gun to me. "You're not just crazy, you're crazy in love! Stay away from me weirdo before I shoot you with this in the head!"
I don't know what to do, I'm just standing here, looking at him, while his hurting himself, by forcing his broken leg to work.
After a second, he fall and drop the gun on the grass. I run towards the gun but Chase hold my feet that makes me fall on the grass. He crawl towards me and tried to get the gun first. I keep searching for the gun using my hand but Chase got it first.
I tried to get the gun to his hand, until he pulled the trigger. A loud noise was released from the gun and we both stop and look to each other.
This Chase in front of me, it's not Chase. It's not the Chase I know, he is not the boy I know, he's different.
"Who are you?" I ask him and shove his head using my arm. I heard a crack from the distance so I look fast and I was shock when I saw Chase lying on the ground, his eyes are wide open, and his head was tilt, looking in my direction, like he's staring to me.
"Chase?" I called his name. "Chase?" I called him again, but no response. I kneel down and look at him. I was shock when there's a blood from his head, spreading on the grass. "Chase?!" I shake his body, I tried waking him up, but....
He's dead.
I felt the tears on my cheeks, and this time, I didn't stop it from falling down. I let my emotion out.
I killed him, not intentionally, but accidentally.
I killed him because of love, because of hate. You know? When love meets hate, the result is a disaster.
Now I believe that love is toxic.
Because you can do anything, from the power of love. By the energy of it. Sometimes it's good, but sometimes it's deadly.
I should let myself being hurt because of love, I should let myself down, because finding love, isn't finding the person you truly belong. You're just finding love because of attraction of it, because you want to fit in, you don't want to get left out.
You know?
I just want to feel, what it feels if someone is loving you, and it happened, but I'm not sure anymore if I did.
Showing love is easy, but giving it is hard. It's hard to give your trust to someone, because you expect that the trust you gave, the same trust that will came back to you. But if not, your heart isn't the one who's gonna broke, your soul too.
I felt my soul left my body, but the difference this time, it didn't came back.
It never did
I look to my hands, to my both bloody hands. I wipe the blood on my hands using my white shirt that I'm wearing.
Shit.
What did I do?
What should I do?
- Writer
