DIARYOF A PSYCHOPATH

HELLO THERE

It had been an awfully long year submerged with harsh realities and sickening nostalgia. but I had done a perfect job of drowning my misery with my healthy distractions of art; poetry and paintings.

Let's be clear on something. I'm not a particularly obsessed lover of art. I firmly hold unto my notion that some fashion trends and types of art are awfully hideous. Needless to say, my paintings are a masterpiece. They depict relatable perfection and flaws all together. My popular art pieces and collections speaks for itself. But I like to remain a bit anonymous. A demigod in rare sight. No one gets to have a full tasted of me.

Just a lingering effect of my presence.

My recent escapades had remained the usual cycle. Except for a new quest for property acquisitions and anything that brings me even the slightest pleasure. The idea that a house makes you safe. Wholeness is more of a myth to me. I switch between places for a change of scenery. Capturing a new view of this mediocre universe. And maybe catch a little fun.

Today's house hunting goes a particularly different turn. I had barely finished my breakfast when I receive a text from my broker about a real estate seminar. A simple blurt of how I desire to own a few extra condo's and I'm greeted with a private invite to some fancy mogul's seminar. I suppose his point was for me getting the best picks and a way to get out more often. So bloody good at his job.

I put a little extra effort in my outfit. Elating my mood, I blow myself a kiss through the mirror. Makeup a little neutral, my dark hair resting softly on my lower back. Damn sure my dark boots steal the spotlight at first glance. I grab my keys picking up my purse before shutting the door to my apartment.

The scenery of the seminar sure had an appealing effect to it. I take elegant walks towards the entrance. Greeted by standing attendance who gracefully receive my gold-plated invite.

A few seconds in the elevator and I approach the last floor. Walking into an exclusive hall space. Guests of supposedly notable affluences hung around in clusters. (More like a bee hive if you'd ask me). After a few hand gestures and mental calculations, I figured I'd take the best front row seat. Not for the damn lectures. The room was obviously in desperate need for an elegant touch.

Me.

The seminar goes on for a while longer and I am pressed with flipping through pathetic texts from clingy night stands and exe's. My stomach churns at the long epistles before me. It really never gets old. I wasn't going to allow such flimsy nuisance ruin my already deflated mood. A quick yawn eludes my lips but my attention span is swiftly captured by the eminent presence of godlike statue walking towards the podium.

The way in which his hands move, makes me want to eat the sourest grapes from it. I take a quick pause. Scanning his exteriors with my keen eyes. The tip of my index finger brushing gently the curves of my lower lips.

His opening presentation and credentials blur out of my head as I happen to be much fixated on his beautiful appearance. Obviously not his long hour seminar.

Here I am. Sited before this painstakingly breathtaking image of a man. My vision burrs at the fantasy fuming before them.

"I walk up to him, in the most silhouette walk I could possibly fantom...my pretty wet lips lubricated in thoughts of many ways to worship his chiseled contours. I swear I could watch his heart race twice faster ... the tingling swell of his p***s flickering between my soft palms. Urgh! Such pleasure". I exclaimed within myself.

"My little fingers...what they'd do to him..." I hear myself whisper. My stare does an excellent job of eye f*****g him to stupor. Taking him near Jupiter in a matter of seconds. I am soon jilted from my fantasy as a waiter approaches me with a note. I stare at him deadpanned. "What?".

Slipping the note away from his hand, I look unfazed. Flipping it open to discover a darned warning inscribed in italic writing.

"Keep staring and I'm gonna fall pregnant at your constant eye fucking."

-Xavier.

A small smirk spreads across my face while I carefully place the note on the table. Stylishly accessing him from my corner eye. His stern stare meets with the soft grin on my lips, sending shivers across my body.

I clear my throat. "Such daring audacity..." I rolled my eyes. Trying hard to dismiss the smile on the corner of my lips. I snap out of my fickle daydream and got up to leave.

"Play time's over. Mama's got better things to focus on." I brush off my uneasiness but was soon to be kicked in the guts by Mr. stranger walking towards my table.

It takes a moment to grasp the concept of a godlike sculpture approaching my direction. For a split second I'd imagined him worshiping at my altar. Knees bent, head deep inside my temple. Offering well accepted sacrifice. But then again, my brain fools me into the idea that I'd have him wrapped around my fingers. "Just like always."

I hadn't taken much steps towards the exit before I halted at the clear words from behind me. '"Don't do that." My brows tug together. My shoulders stiffen at the coldness in his voice. "Do what?".

"Downplay the chemistry you were throwing at me seconds ago and leave like it was nothing." His eyes drop to my lips which was now curled up with a look of disgust. But I found myself unable to put together a sentence. The warmth in my chest reroutes itself toward a different area of my body.

The silence between us echoes around the room for much longer than seconds until I am able to catch my breath. "Pick up a better line Mr. Xavier. You fare worse that your predecessors for someone your caliber." I smirked in triumph.

His grin drops with a clenched jaw to which gains another response from me. "Don't you have somewhere else to be?". I scoffed. Suppressing my now rising feud towards his domineering character.

He propels himself forward. "You'd be surprised..."

I swear the way he looks at me, has me wanting to drop to my knees begging for a taste of his one true salvation.

"Oh, I know your type..." I shoot back at him. My hands tucked inside the another. "Really? And that would be?" he questioned with a mocking surprise spread across his face.

'Fuckers who swim in the illusion of feeling too good for anyone." I cut in a small whisper before he has a chance to defend himself. "Oh, guess what? Your flatter yourself too much. You're not that good.". A look of satisfaction has me filled with pride but we both know my solemn abstinence hangs by a thread these days...

"I hate his guts!" I mumbled as I turned to take my leave as fast as I could. Unable to trust myself around this heated conversation.

I strongly despised how he looked relaxed. Hands in pocket while his silk white shirt exposes his firmly sculptured body. Allowing a rare peak of his inviting chest. I hated his devilish smirk before I turned towards the opposite direction. How he made no move to call out my name. "Heck! He didn't even ask!"

It took a lot of courage to act unbothered but a part of me wanted to demand that he begs for my attention. Which I'd gladly grant after series of continuous pleading. "Who does he think he is?"

I heaved out a sigh. Angered by my sudden attention to detail concerning a man. "Urgh!"

XAVIER'S POV

I hate her guts!

How she so eloquently snatches the breath out of me without a flinch. Her silent groan intensifies the stiff hardness between my legs. If only I could show her just how much closer, she's become to stepping on my dark side. How desperately I try to tame myself from the dreadful thoughts echoing one word around her. To f**k her nonsense till she screams out my name for more.

The way she walks out on me screams a lot of tension at the back of my throat. But I hold it in. It takes a will of strength to hold back the urge to slam her against the wall, marking my fingerprint up her thighs. I take a pause at the sight of a gallery owner waving towards me. And try to shrug the memories of her off my mind.

The chat went on for minutes but all I could fixate my mind on was how many minutes it took to get her dress to the floor. With each moment, I flickered the tip of my wristwatch, interchanging with my thumb gently brushing against my brows. My mind unsettled on listening to this man's gibberish or to run after the lady who's caught my gaze.

Finally, the conversation comes to an end for what seemed like an hour but it'd be too late to catch up with her. I heaved a sigh and headed towards the car garage to get my ride.

*****