Falling for the Enemy

Coming Back to Life

                                                                                    Catherine

I can feel the unknown man’s fist pounding into my face.  I am tied to a tree being whipped once more.  Sting after sting my body jerks with each cut of the whip but this time I cry out.  Not again, how did I get here again?  Flinging my body in the air I am disoriented as I sit up.  Screams and sobs are coming from me that are unrecognizable.  I need to get away, I need to run, I need to hide, what is happening to me?  I feel arms wrap gently but securely around me. No, not again.  I will never let them do this to me again. I begin fighting the arms 

“No, no, don’t touch me, get off of me."  I am clawing at the arms with all of my strength.   

“Catherine, Catherine,  stop it’s me.  Catherine, stop”  the voice is saying my name and it sounds so familiar. 

 Becoming quieter I listen for the voice again.  

“Catherine you’re safe.”   

The voice is one that I have come to know very well and I stop fighting the arms.  I look around the room realizing where I am.  I am in Mary’s room and I am on her bed.  I am no longer in the woods near the creek.  My hands are no longer bound.  I am safe and warm.  Turning to face the source of the voice, I see Henry’s kind dark brown eyes filled with concern and panic.  

“Oh god Henry,” I say breathless and in between sobs.  

Gripping his arms wrapped around me we sit on the bed holding each other.  Mary’s door is flung open and Samuel, Sarah, and Susanah are at the door.  Still crying I turn away from the door hoping they will not see my disoriented face.  I cry into Henry’s ear 

“Please don’t let them see me like this.”  

Henry acknowledges my request by making eye contact with me.  He then goes to the door to stop them from coming in any further.  

“She’s okay, she was sleeping and she had a nightmare.  She doesn’t want to worry any of you.  Everything is fine now.”  

All three hesitantly move from the door, and Henry closes the door behind him.  I watch every move that Henry makes trying to judge what he is feeling.  I don’t want him to think I’m weak.  Henry places another log on the fire and walks over to the bed.  Pushing aside a stray hair he places his warm hand on my cheek.  He gently caresses the side of my face.  

“Are you okay?”  

“Yes, I’m sorry.  It was just a meaningless nightmare, nothing to worry about.  Also, earlier when I asked you to stay with me I was just being a silly little girl.  I am perfectly fine now that I have rested some, you may go back to your sleeping quarters.” I say trying to muster a smile.  

Henry looks like I have just inflicted physical pain on him.  

“You want me to leave?” he says still caressing my cheek with his hand.  

“Other than a few cuts and bruises, I am fine, and I no longer need to be babysat,” I say trying not to sound like a snob.  

Henry stands up from the bed.  

“Catherine, if you feel uncomfortable with me in here, I will leave.  However, if you are simply telling me to leave because you are embarrassed or are afraid to look weak then you are just being juvenile.”  

How does he know me so well?  Swallowing and taking a deep breath I respond 

“I feel uncomfortable with you or anyone seeing me like this.” 

Wiping the tears from my face with the back of my hand I stare at the fire.  

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about Catherine.  I do not think you are weak.  In fact, I am in awe of you right now.  Even now when you are bruised and broken, you still think of everyone else and worry about how you are perceived.  Did you think less of Susanah after what happened to her?” he asks.  

I am appalled “Of course not!” I say becoming angry that he would even say that to me.  

“Exactly, and no one thinks less of you because of what those men did to you. So if you will allow me I would like to stay tonight.”  

The truth is I don’t want to be alone.  I am scared, and I am weak right now.  I find myself wishing for my mother.  I want to feel her arms holding me tight and keeping me safe.  I want to feel like nothing can touch me and I just want to feel loved.  Looking at Henry, I realize that I have felt all of these things tonight with him, in his arms.  

“I would like you to stay,” I say barely audible.  

Henry moves back to sit on the bed once again and he places his hands on my cheeks.  My face is cupped in both of his strong warm hands and we are staring into each other’s eyes.  Moving towards me he gently kisses me on my forehead and then lightly pulls me into an embrace.  Staring at one another we lie down on the bed with his body facing mine and mine facing his.  He places my hand into his and we lie staring at one another for an unknown amount of time until sleep finds my body once more.  I do not have any more nightmares through the rest of the night and sleep soundly.  

When I finally do awake I know it is not morning but instead late afternoon because the sun is behind the barn and I know this is not where it should be if it was indeed morning.  Henry is no longer in the bed beside me, in fact, I am completely alone in Mary’s room.  My body is stiff and sore.  Gently I try to stretch my body out on the bed but instantly cower back in pain when I do so.  My head is throbbing with pain; gently I place my hands on my temples and move my fingers in a circular motion.  When I do this I notice that blood has bled through the bandages on my wrist.  Carefully I remove the bandages from my wrists and examine the gruesome cuts that were created from the rope digging into my skin.  I try to move my wrists but when I do there is an instant ache in both, and I freeze in pain.  Every part of my body was sore last night and I was in a great deal of pain but today everything seems worse.  I am in excruciating pain and I lay lifeless on the bed, not moving, and trying not to breathe too deeply.  Quietly the bedroom door creaks open, without moving my head; I look to the doorway to see Henry standing there.   

“Good you are awake.  I was just coming to wake you.  Sarah and I have prepared a warm bath for you in the other room if you feel up to bathing.” 

Gently and slowly I move to a sitting position, “Yes, I would like that very much.  It will do my body good to get up and moving.  Could you help me remove the bandages from my back first?”