Falling for the Enemy

New Bern

                                                                                        Catherine

I know he doesn’t want to hurt me and I am telling him that he can keep from hurting me by just staying with me.  Henry grips my body tighter and I think for a second that he may change his mind and stay with me, but then he places his hands on my shoulders and gently pushes me back from his chest so he can see into my eyes.  

“Catherine, I know you are scared, but I will come back for you. I do love you with all of my being and I will come back for you.” 

I pull Henry into another embrace and try to control my sobs.  Slowly I begin breathing calmer.  Tears are still streaming down my face but at least I have regained some control over my body and emotions again.  

“Do you promise?” I say trying to smile.  

“I promise you, I will come back for you.” And I believe him.  

I know that he will do everything in his power to come back to me.  Standing once more we walk hand in hand to the barn.  I watch as Henry prepares Brennan for their journey.  I have insisted that he take my horse with him.  At least a little part of me will be with him.  Brennan is a fine horse and I am hoping that she will be fast enough to keep him out of danger.  Holding onto Brennan’s reins with one hand and my hand in his other we walk towards the slave quarters.  I stand next to Brennan the entire time Henry is saying goodbye to Samuel and his family, they too know he was leaving this morning so they have come to say goodbye. 

Crying and wiping my tears away with the back of my hand I watch them exchange hugs with Henry.  It isn’t until Henry picks Adam up to hug him tightly, that I fall apart entirely.  Henry is going to make such a good father, a father to my children when he returns.  Henry and Adam grew extremely close while they were both injured and healing at the same time on the plantation. I know that Adam is going to miss Henry almost as much as I will.  

With the goodbyes finished, the moment I have dreaded is here and in the present.  Walking away from the slave quarters and making our way to the dirt road which travels between the willows, I feel as if I am literally going to fall to pieces and become a puddle of mush on the ground. 

“I love you with all of my heart and I will be back.” He says hugging me once more and kissing me. 

“I love you too. Come back to me.” 

With one last kiss, he mounts Brennan but I am still gripping his hand, refusing to let go.   Bending over he kisses my hand and lets his grip on my hand go loose, and begins riding down the road.  I hear him say once more 

“I will come back for you.”  and just like that he is gone and I am alone.

                                                                                  Henry

When I make it to the end of Moher’s dirt road I finally allow myself to look back.  I knew if I looked back at her I wouldn’t have been able to go through with it and I would have turned around and stayed with her at Moher forever.  I would have been happy to stay with her but I would not have been able to look at myself in the mirror every day.  I enlisted for a reason and that reason is still out there. I need to make it back to New Bern and report back in with my division, that is if I still have a division.  I also need to find out what happened to my brothers.  

Giving Brennan a little kick with the stirrups we begin our long ride towards New Bern.  I try to stay off of the main roads as much as possible because I am in the heart of the south and for the first time I am not within the confines of Moher to keep me safe.  I can still try to play the part of the mute but without my “cousins” around to explain I am mute, I will just look like a man who doesn’t want to answer any questions. 

After traveling for a few hours I become more worried about seeing people while on the road. So I soon decided that it would be better to travel at night so I find a place to settle into for the rest of the afternoon until night falls.  When night comes I begin my journey again.  By the time the sun comes up, I am within miles of New Bern and decide I will continue on my way even though it is daylight. I am so close to my end destination that I have decided to risk the journey in the light of day.  

New Bern has been occupied by the United Army for almost the entirety of the war and I know that the United army still has control over it.  Riding towards the fort I can see that it is being guarded from the bunkers in front of the fort.  I am unsure of how I should approach a fort alone at wartime.  The only thing I can think to do is place my hands in the air and slowly approach the fort hoping and praying that no one will shoot.  I try to look as defenseless as possible, I can sense and see several musket rifles aimed at me, swallowing I keep allowing Brennan to continue towards the fort.  As I reach the bunkers, I hear “Stop where you are” and I do as I am asked.  

“What’s your business here?”