Falling for the Enemy

Death is Better

                                                                                                Catherine

In the morning I am greeted by breakfast in bed from my sister.  “Good Morning Sunshine,” she says as she places the bowl of berries in front of me.  “To what do I owe this special occasion of breakfast in bed?” I say placing a berry in my mouth.  It is sour and not quite ripe enough to be eaten yet but beggars can’t be choosers, I think while popping another berry into my mouth.  Mary sits down on the bed next to me removing one of the berries from the bowl.  “I need to talk to you about something,” she says in a low serious tone.  “What’s wrong?” She has my full attention now.  “Catherine, I would like to visit Aunt Rachel in Georgia. She sent us that letter months ago inviting us to join her any time we would like and I feel that I need to get away from Moher.  There is too much pain here.  I need some new surroundings, far away from all the evil that has taken place here.  I don’t feel safe anymore.” My sister places her head on my shoulder and begins crying.   I wrap her in my arms and hold her close.  “Mary, you know I would never let anything happen to you.  What happened to Adam and Susanah was the act of a crazy man, and we have the entire town looking for him.  If he shows his face ever again in Goldsboro, someone will surely inform us hoping to retrieve the reward for information.”  Mary does not acknowledge anything I have just said to her.  She continues weeping into my shoulder.  “Please Catherine, I can’t stay here.  Please, let me go to Aunt Rachel’s.  I beg of you.”  “Mary, what is wrong.  Why all of a sudden are you so sure that the worst is going to happen?  Have I given you a reason to believe that I cannot take care of you?  I have taken care of everyone in this home as well as I possibly can. There is a war occurring and you want to travel alone to Aunt Rachel’s.  How can I let you go when something could happen to you when you are traveling?”  Mary sits up picking her head up from my shoulder “Catherine, I have already talked to father and he is allowing me to go.  I just wanted to get your permission too but I am going to Aunt Rachel’s whether you approve or not.”  Mary stands up from the bed and walks towards the glass door that leads out onto the veranda.  This is the first time she has ever openly defied me.  “Then we will all travel to Aunt Rachel’s.” I say following her out onto the second-floor veranda and standing beside her.  Mary just laughs “Catherine, you are not thinking.  You know father is not well enough to travel and there is no way Susanah can travel in her condition.  She is still healing.”    “So you are just leaving.  You are just giving up on this family and walking away.” I am angry now. How dare she walk out on me?  “Catherine, you don’t need me here to keep Moher alive.  You have made that quite clear over the last few months.  You have single handily run our home and taken care of every individual in Moher.  I am just another mouth to feed. “  With this last statement, she walks towards the banister on the veranda.  Following behind her I try with one last attempt to keep her here “Mary, but who will take care of me when you are gone?  I need you here.”  Mary turns to look at me with a smile on her face “Catherine, we both know that is not true.  I am not the one you need.  I leave this afternoon on the 2:30 train.  Father has already sent Samuel out to contact an associate of his to see if he will travel with me to Georgia.  I need to pack.” Our conversation is over and she has made her decision.  She is leaving and she will be gone by the day’s end.  Silently, I dress and walk down the stairs and into the main hall.  I remember the balls mother would throw here at Moher.  They were the most delightful and elegant parties in all of Goldsboro.  I remember hiding with my sister behind the curtains watching as the men and women courted one another.  She is my partner in crime, and she is abandoning us.  If she is ready to give up on Moher and our family then what am I even fighting for.  It would be easier just to quit.  Why can’t I be more like Mary?  I want to be able to walk out of this home and never look back but I can’t because if I do that then the war has won.  It will be like our life here at Moher never existed if I just give up.  I continue walking outside and straight to the barn, she can go.  She is weak. If she wants to run, then let her run.  I don’t need to be here to see her off while she acts like a coward and leaves for Georgia.  I will not stay around the plantation to encourage this act of shame.  I saddle up my horse, the same horse I saved from the United Army months ago, and gallop off into the fields where my mother used to take my sister and me for picnics.  I ride to the places where my sister and I used to play hide and seek and lastly I visit the creek bed where my sister and I would hunt for crayfish into the dark.   I remember coming to this creek bed with her in the late summer months as we got older, we would talk about boys and love until the fireflies came out.  We would venture this far from the house because we didn’t want to chance anyone finding us.  We didn’t want to be found then, because our secrets were for just each other’s ears.  It was a time for just her and me.  Getting off of my horse, I walk next to the small creek and peer into the water.  I let out a slight giggle when I spot a crayfish crawling out from under a rock.  I can’t believe they are still here, after all these years and they are still here.  So much has changed except this spot.  This sacred place that meant so much to my sister and me remains intact.  Turning I look at the old Hickory tree to spot our initials.  Carved into the bark are C.C and M.C and the tears begin falling from my eyes.  This spot alone is enough for me to fight for this family and for the preservation of Moher.  This little spot in the world that belongs to just Mary and me, is worth it.  My happiest memories were made here.  Looking up at the afternoon sun, I realize I may be too late.  She is my sister and I will love her no matter where she feels she needs to go.  She will come back and I will bring her back to this place to remind her of how it used to be.  I begin walking back towards where I left the horse but she is no longer there.  I tied her off, how did she get loose.  Damn, she must have broken loose.  Now I will never make it back to Moher before Mary leaves for her train.  I will have to write her as soon as I arrive home and tell her that I understand why she left.  Letting out a sigh, I prepare my mind mentally for the long track back to Moher.  It will be sundown before I arrive make it back to the house and I begin walking along the creek bed. Behind me I hear a branch crack, oh thank the lord, it must be Brennan my horse.  At least she didn’t travel off too far, she must have come down to the creek for a drink.  Turning I do not find Brennan but instead, I see a figure standing in the woods.  “Who’s there?” suddenly I am frightened that I have stumbled on a United Army deserter or a looter of some sort.  I do not have my rifle or pistol because I ran from the house angry and not thinking.  Stepping out from behind the tree is a man I vaguely recognize, and it is when I realize from where when I start to run.  This is the other man that was in the barn that afternoon with Susanah.   “Don’t bother running.  You won’t get very far.” I hear from across the creek.  I know this voice.  Oh god, oh god, please I am praying silently in my mind.  Turning to face the voice across the creek I compose myself the best I can.  I refuse to let him see the fear on my face.  Standing on the bank is Charles Sankey holding a pistol and it is aimed directly at my chest.    “What luck for us to run into you out here?  We had planned it would be a little harder to get you alone especially with that mute cousin of yours following you everywhere but here you are alone.  No mute cousin anywhere to be found. Oh, and it seems you don’t have your trusty rifle with you that you seem to use so freely. What nothing to say?  You usually have so much to say.”  Sankey laughs and steps into the creek and begins crossing towards me.  Slowly I take a few steps away.  “I wouldn’t bother running, you see my friend over there has a gun too and he would like nothing more than to shoot you,” Sankey says smugly.  He is filthy.  He looks like he has been hiding out in the woods for weeks.  No wonder none of the townspeople had seen them, they were on my father’s property the entire time.  “So Sankey, do you make it a habit to try to make things smaller than you cower.  First a young boy, then one woman against three men, and now me against two.  Are you really that little of a man that you have to find things that are outnumbered by you and your minions to prey on?  Does it make you feel like a real man when you smack a boy who you triple in size? Oh and I’m sure what you did to Susanah really built you up inside. You are so pitiful and pathetic.” As I finish my sentence he fires his gun.  I am startled by the gunshot but he does not hit me.  “You would be wise to hold your tongue or the next one will be between your eyes.”  “I’m not afraid of you Sankey.  You are a sad pathetic, wretched man who will burn in hell for the crimes you have committed on this Earth.”  “Catherine, believe me when I am finished with you, you will most certainly fear me. I have not committed any crimes here on Earth because beating two worthless pigs doesn’t count for s**t here on Earth.  I did god a favor when I put those two black Negros in their place and now I have to teach one of God’s lambs a lesson.  You see Catherine you are a lamb that has gotten lost and I must show you how to get back to the promised land” and with those words, he slaps me across the face flinging me to the ground.  Holding my face I stare into Sankey’s eyes “What are you going to do? Hurt me just like you did to Susanah?  How will god view that indiscretion?  Let me warn you I will not scream and give you the pleasure of knowing you have hurt me because the entire time I will pity you and your worthless soul and that goes for the coward that is with you standing over in the woods too.” I say glancing towards the man that now stands less than three feet away from me.  “Catherine I need to beat the evil out of you that has entered your soul.  I will beat the sympathy that you have for those negros out of your body until every last morsel is gone.  I will make you see the errors of your ways.  You should not have chosen that black w***e over that white man you shot, because he was my brother, and he had every right to hurt that girl.  He is her master, and now I am going to show you who your master is.”  Both men move towards me at the same time one grabbing my left arm and the other grabbing the right.  I struggle with all my might until my mouth finds skin in front of it.  Without thinking I bite down as hard as I can and rip and tear at the skin. I can taste metallic blood in my mouth from the wound I have just created on the unknown man’s hand. The flesh that I ripped from his hand is still in my mouth and I spit it out onto him.  This causes the man to lose his grip on me and I then turn my attack towards Charles. I begin scratching and clawing at his face, going for his eyes, but he is stronger than me.  He pulls me into a bear hug and I am unable to move my arms so instead, I bring my leg up and knee him in the privates.  Charles bends over to grip where I have just injured him, however, before I am able to run free, I feel a hand entwine in my hair and rip against my scalp.  I am thrown to the ground and I am being kicked.  The man whose hand is bleeding from my bite is kicking me over and over and over again.  I can feel sharp pains in my ribs, my back, and then to my head.  The pain is everywhere.  Blow after blow to my face makes it harder and harder to think.  I cannot see anymore because blood is dripping into my eyes. The only thing I can think to do is to hold my hands up to my face to protect my head.  I can taste more blood in my mouth.  This is not foreign blood, this is my blood now, and I am choking on it.  The blows continue again and again without pause.  “Stop, you’ll kill her.  We do not want to kill her. We want to teach her a lesson remember?”    Charles says to the man that has been pummeling me with attack after attack.  “Get the rope and throw it over that tree branch.”  I am blinded by all of the blood and sweat dripping down from my forehead and into my eyes.  There is a loud ringing in my ears and aimlessly I begin crawling on the ground.  Trying to escape to where; I am unsure.  I feel hands pull me up by my shoulders and then a rope is being tied around my wrists.  “Pull it tightly so she is standing up on her toes.” And with one big movement, I am ripped to my legs and pulled into the air so that only the very tips of my shoes are scraping the ground.  Someone comes up behind me and begins tearing open the back of my dress. I can feel the warm summer wind blowing on my now bareback.  Giving in I lay limp against the rope, allowing my weight to be held up by my wrist.  The rope digs into my wrists and it burns but I do not have the strength to stay on my toes to keep the weight off.  It is not long before I feel the sharp sting of the whip hitting my back. I let out a scream but quietly in my mind I promise to not let out another one.  Now I know what they plan to do, and I will not give them the courtesy of hearing any more of my screams.  “Catherine, are you ready to repent and to ask for forgiveness?” Charles asks me.    I spit blood from my mouth and tell them both to go to hell.  With that the rampage of the whip stings my body again and again and again, I only let out small groans hoping that they are too low for these monsters to hear.  I soon lose count after 15. My back is on fire, it feels as if a thousand knives have been stuck into my back.  I am powerless and all I can do is wait for the next violent hit of the whip.  Soon I find myself praying to god for it all to end.  Just let me die.  Just let me die.