the corridors of hell

I stood inside the crammed room looking at my phone. There were clothes scattered everywhere, dirty dishes were scattered on the floor and noodles wrappers in a bin by the door.That was what I had been eating for a month. 3 suitcases stood in the corner unopened staring back at me.I was afraid of opening them,I knew that if I opened them it would mean that I had accepted.my reality,I preferred to keep wishing that this was all a dream for a while longer. I couldn't just accept that in a month my family had gone broke and my parents had abandoned me . my dad who used to call me princess and give me whatever I wanted, had left me without a word and even drained my overseas account. The sound of the phone buzzing brought me back to reality .' Don't you dare say you are not coming Davine, it's been a month stop moping around and come have some fun' the text said. It was my best friend Valarie. ' I can't am not yet ready ' I texted her back. A few seconds had not yet passed when my phone started ringing. Valarie was calling me, I was tempted to not answer the call but I decided against it, Valerie was my good friend and she had been with me through the whole ordeal.After giving.me an earful for 10 minutes straight, I agreed to go clubbing with her. I dragged myself out of the bed and groaned at the thought of having to go outside because the rooms were not self-contained, the bathrooms were outside and four tenants had to share a bathroom. I took my basin and went to the tap to draw water to shower, cold water, the bathrooms didn't even have showers. I missed the days when I could just lay in a bathtub for hours just enjoying the warm water on my body. " Isn't she the girl who was on Tv recently?" "Yes, her parents were thieves, I bet you she is a thief too, an apple doesn't fall far from the tree" " Should we hid our husbands? She might steal them." Two women sat Infront of their doors pointing fingers at me, they didn't even bother to lower their voices they wanted me to hear them. I rolled my eyes, I was definitely not going to look at their broke husband's twice. I went into the bathroom, took a quick shower and returned to my house.I just had to make it to the club before 8:30 pm.I really didn't want to go out, I just wanted to wear my sweatpants and crawl back to my bed, but I also didn't want to disappoint Valerie. I decided that if I was going to go out anyway then I will just have to go all out. I.put on my black mini dress that reached mid thigh, put on make up and wore my six inch heels.I didn't need a mirror to know I looked hot.For the first time in a month a smile grazed my lips.I locked the door behind me, the sound of my heels echoing through the hall way as I climbed down the stairs.But even the noise didn't deter me from hearing what the two women said. "Look at her,she looks like a slut" " Maybe she has decided to become a slut now that her family is broke" " I hear her father abadoned her" " Maybe it's because she sleeps around " laughter followed their words, three other women joined them. I hated them, they didn't even know me but they were busy judging me, they had never even talked to me.Who are they to call me a slut? I swallowed my anger and put on a brave front, I couldn't cry not today, I didn't want pity, I wanted to show my friends I was okay, I was strong. A strong scent of urine assaulted my nose I held my breathe, in front of me was a dumpster, and a drunk man was taking a piss in the dumpster. I looked away disgusted. I finally reached the bus stop and I had to wait for the bus to come, I had never taken a bus except in high school during school trips. I always took an Uber but I couldn't today I didn't have money like I used to. Minutes later I got on a bus going to town but it was full so I didn't get a seat, I stood, while the men looked at my thighs, I unconsciously pulled at my dress to try to make it monger better, but it didn't comply. I was uncomfortable and I hated it, all my life I dressed like this and I didn't think there was anything wrong with it until I moved to Embakasi. Minutes dragged by, the whispers became louder and it felt as if everybody was talking about me laughters became louder and my insecurities grew. I wished I had just worn a hoodie, I regretted trying to stand out. Maybe they weren't about me , maybe I was self-centered but at that moment I wanted to disappear.