Sharecropping The Apocalypse

1 | NOW IMAGINE IT!-2-4

Sally backed him up in his efforts to get on their seemingly well prepared neighbors good side and added “David it was so nice of you to help bury Me-Mah and Papa said to give you his heartfelt thanks again and tell you that you would be in his prayers, but we are almost out of food once again and he would be terribly grateful if we could maybe have some more canned spam or something today.” Sally said hopefully.

David regarded the pair of them evenly for the moment while displaying very little of the uncomfortable emotions he was feeling inside before he spoke.

“I think we need to discuss why it is you think that I offered to donate to you somehow on a regular basis. I admit I gave your family a gift and offered some small help in the future if I could possibly, but I didn’t say it would be a regularly occurring thing.” David replied looking aghast at the presumptions they seemed to be still holding. Bits of humor from the gallows of humanity were David’s mainstay, but this conversation was going in entirely the wrong direction and his brow began to furrow...

“I thought that you were one of them survivalists. What they do they call them? You know, a Doomsday Prepper like on NatGeo. Don’t you have yourself a ton of stuff all stored up like those people on the show do somewhere for a disaster like this?” Willard said in a “what-cha talking about Willis” like voice. Just as if to be refused by David had never even been considered by him.

“No hell I don’t! I never have said that I did either! Get this straight. I don’t know what Hollywood fantasy notion you are thinking I got put away but I am telling you here and now that just giving you that little bit of s**t I gave you the first go round took food out of my belly as well as Julie’s! You two go sit yourselves down over at the picnic table a minute while I think about this and go see what my lady has to say about giving you another care package. Listen, hear me out. I am telling you that I hardly got enough food for myself let alone any extra to spare for anyone! That includes some neighbors that I hardly even know if you get my drift. Now then, I will still try to do something for you if you would please just go sit yourselves over there for a bit while I break this news to the missus and see what we can do about finding you something to eat? But remember, I never took you to raise son, you neither missy.” David advised glaring at Will in an angry exasperated fashion and giving a side-glance at Sally that could have charmed a rattlesnake not to even think about biting or shaking its tail.

Will flinched, dug the toe of his boot in the dirt and directed his somewhat now cowed girlfriend towards the wooden picnic table David had sitting off to the right of his front door. David ignored their mutterings as he closed his front door with a flourish and a with a loud click of the lock went to talk to Julie who was standing guard in a back bedroom with the pistol-handled alley sweeper of a Mossberg cruiser shotgun she had loaded and at the ready if David had needed any help.

David thought to himself “Damned if that couple had any kind of “walk in the front door privileges” now, that is if he ever was even fool enough to invite them into his home under even normal social conditions. Right this minute, they are here by permanently s**t out of luck to enter his abode.”

The word prepper was unheard of just a few years ago. Average people don’t relate the word normally to identify the self reliance or prepper community as people who use the word on thousands of prepper-specific blogs, websites, and YouTube videos. No they prefer or expect the NatGeo show version of a rich odd person they were exposed to in a reality show. NatGeo chose some whack jobs for a show about how some people prepare for a disaster and now folks want to add that “doomsday prepper’ label on to him and everyone else in the preparedness community. A lot of those people on the show were some kind of rich eccentric survivalist that had all kinds of preps coming out their ears’ David mused thinking about the fact that he was far from rich, but his kitchens counters at the moment had evidence of much more food preps than he was admitting to the couple or to anyone else for that matter. He had spent the morning dragging them out of everywhere and the cans and boxes were out on display awaiting him and his sweetie’s inventory to do some prepper planning on how they should regulate their accumulated foodstuffs over the days and months ahead. Not a good thing for those two outside to catch even a glimpse of his small hoard.

“David I only caught a small piece of that conversation. Do they really expect to come down here whenever they have a need and you to supply them with food?” Julie said looking angry and then peeking around the corner of the blinds at the couple with the pistol grip 12 gauge shotgun in her white knuckled small hands.

“I guess the fools think so, but I will soon rectify that dumb notion quick enough. It isn’t time yet baby to start a war with them or any other neighbors just yet if a bit of threatening or hollering can keep them away.” David said ominously in a hushed tone that she evidently picked up on and followed up with an abrupt no nonsense reply of poking a threatening gun barrel forward gesture in their unseen general direction with the scattergun.

“Geezus! “ David thought, knowing that the first round out of that thing could sink a boat with its 3 inch shell loaded with 42 pellets of No. 4 Buckshot. Follow up that shot with 5 rounds in succession of 2 3/4 (12) pellet nickel plated double ought buck and he doubted he would not even have a picnic table left if she made good on the threat with any kind discharge towards them .” A very wicked weapon indeed David had decided.

“I chose the right gun didn’t I David?” Julie said looking back into the bedroom and seeking his approval as she questioned herself about having not chosen her .22 rifle instead for this possible encounter.

“Yea baby your doing fine. They are ok, nothing much to worry about from them today and if not that shotgun persuader you are toting could of put them in every shot glass in Chicago. Don’t sweat yourself about them bothering us at all for now darling, you and I already guessed correctly they were coming back over wanting a hand out. Now they are here and they are and what they are. Thing is now what are we going to do about it?” David said peeking out the window at the couple. They saw him and didn’t look away any too quick, sort of like they were still waiting on him to give them an expected invite to come in.

David eyed the pair and thought to himself “Well the nerve of those two!” As far as he was concerned, they were pretty much just strangers when you got down to it. For them to come knocking on his door looking for him to “redistribute” his canned goods in their direction like it was expected of him was ludicrous. Friggin people were just plain crazy”.

“David? Did you tell him and tell him in no certain terms that from now on he had to hunt for his own food or that maybe they just needed to move themselves on somewhere away from here more apt to have food for them like a relocation camp?” Julie said uncomfortably while watching the front door like it was going to be kicked in possibly by the unsavory hungry pair.

“No I haven’t, not yet. I am still strongly thinking about how best to say that and calm everyone down some. You know when desperation reaches its peak people don’t get scared as easy or show any fear to a threat real or not. You can be sure though Julie that he already is trying to hunt some on his own and since we haven’t heard a gunshot from their direction he hasn’t seen s**t to shoot at or he would have been popping caps with whatever firearms he has over there. That’s a weird thing by the way that we haven’t heard any shots coming from over to their place. That grandpa of his bragged to me once that he normally has several deer on the property at 5am and more crossing at sundown everyday, but as you know the deer have changed their normal trails and directions it seems.” David said pondering the possible causation of the lack of gunshots heard from a house where it was normal to occasionally hear something going off occasionally, even if it was nothing else but celebratory gunfire of a few rounds on a holiday.

“You have been saying David that the deer are acting weird anyway, maybe then going to the camps is for them. By the way, I am not going to let you forget that you wouldn’t even allow me to take a shot at that buck standing next to your garden last week.’ Julie said grousing about David’s adamancy not to interfere in any way with the deer on his property normal migration and feeding patterns for awhile because he felt they needed to be undisturbed and not hunted close in until they really needed them.

“I have explained my reasoning on that to you Julie a hundred times over. I cannot monitor the deer’s trails or figure out their numbers if we mess with what they are currently thinking are some safe clear paths this close to the house. What I think has happened to make them so skittish and confused is that these damn hunters around here have pulled out all the stops and are dumping whatever kind of bait or scent they got in their hunting areas to increase the chances of a kill and confusing them with odd smells and signals. The wind and the woods for miles around here are being convoluted with man scent and deer attractant. The problem with that is if you make an artificial salt lick or a rut you scent away the deer herds from a normally traveled trail. Then it is up to the bucks or odd does that decide most everything’s not right and they make new trails to seek food or avoid danger just like during regular hunting season. The age old traditional forest trails are all convoluted now except the ones running across my property exiting that low lying boggy area in the back of my property down by the creek. We need to keep them trails as is and put nothing like a snare set up to molest them or even so much as put out a bait to guide them elsewhere for now. We have got ourselves plenty of stored food for a good period of time and like I told you, in deer terms we are thought of as an island of safety or recuperation in these stressful hunting times. Not hunting them now will payoff for us in spades later.” David said remembering Julie’s excitement to protect the garden as well as put some fresh meat on the table and prove to her and her man that she was fully capable of ranger living and bagging a deer all by herself.

She had begrudgingly lowered her gun on what would have been her first deer and in her opinion could have performed a major supportive accomplishment to “prepper shack” by adding some game meat to their diets when David had unexpectedly put a hand on her weapon and spoiled her exuberance with a hushed admonishment to “let it pass.’ The deer had noticed them watching her, but the buck had retreated unhurriedly away from their presence.