The True Northern King - James

Chapter 4

“The queen is dead!”

Probably the worst day of our lives. Our family had suffered a hard blow. My mother … in order for my sister to live she had to die. My father stayed locked in his room, letting her burial be done by others, while I tried my best to keep my family together and stayed with my sister all those days my father was gone. She was so small, but it was clear she was our mother’s daughter. Her emerald, green eyes shone so clearly even from a very early age, and I vowed to protect her with my life. She was what we had left of our mother now and no one would take her from us.

“James.”

Someone nudged me awake. Startled, I sat up from my position on the floor, seeing Will in front of me watching me concerned.

“I wasn’t asleep,” I said.

“You have been awake these last three days, it is okay if you were,” he said.

I shook my head before getting up from the floor, looking over the crib where Laelia slept. She was such a good little sister. She barely made any noise and mostly just slept, and when she needed to eat, we had wet nurses ready to help.

“I wasn’t sleeping,” I repeated.

“James …”

“I wasn’t sleeping,” I told him, giving him a harsh look.

I would look after our sister. It was my job to stay at her side, while our father grieved. It gave my siblings a chance to grieve too. I didn’t really have the time for it. Someone had to be the rock. Someone had to be the one taking care of everyone, and since I was the next king, that responsibility laid with me.

“Well, Henry and the rest are coming with some food, if you want to eat with us,” he said.

I looked at Laelia again. She was just sleeping. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to eat something. I should take my chance before she woke up.

“Sure,” I said.

My brothers arrived shortly after and we walked over to a couch in the big room that was Laelia’s. We ate in silence. None of us really had anything to say. Samuel and Liam were still quite young, and I knew they didn’t really understand why our mother wasn’t going to be around anymore and Laelia … she never got the chance to meet her. That I would always feel bad for.

“How is she?” Henry asked. “Is she crying a lot?”

I had let no one but the nurses see her. I didn’t want any of my brothers projecting their possible anger from our mother’s death onto her. She was just a baby. It was not her fault.

“She is mostly sleeping,” I said.

“So, can we finally see her?” Carter asked. “She is our sister after all.”

I looked at all my brothers, unsure if it was the right time. I just didn’t want to take any chances. Our own father had not even come to see her.

“We aren’t going to hurt her,” Henry said.

“I don’t think you will,” I said.

“Then why keep her from us? What are you afraid of?”

What was I afraid of? Why had I locked myself in her room watching over and forgetting to sleep and eat? Maybe this was my way to grieve. Maybe this was a way for me to … to come to terms with the fact our mother was dead, and there was nothing any of us could do. Maybe this was a way to make up for the fact that we couldn’t save her.

“I just think we should let her sleep. The nurses said never to wake a sleeping baby,” I said.

Henry sighed and fell back against the couch he was sitting on. He clearly didn’t agree, but I wouldn’t keep her away from them forever. I just … She just needed time, right? This was about Laelia, and not me.

“Well, tell us when we can see her,” Carter said and got up from the couch.

The rest soon followed except Will. He stayed and sat quietly on the couch.

“Don’t you have training?” I asked.

“Don’t you?” he asked back.

I smiled and then shook my head.

“I am needed here,” I said.

“For how long?”

“Until father comes back. Once he leaves his room, I will go back to the rest of you.”

“We don’t even know when he will come out. We need you too, James,” he said.

“What do you want me to do? Laelia is just a baby! She needs me more!”

Will sighed but just got up from the couch, not saying anything else, and then looking at me one more time before leaving the room. He was just a kid too. He didn’t understand. All he knew was he needed his older brother, but Laelia needed me too.

I got up from the couch and walked over to her. She was still just sleeping. I fell back against the wall, covering my face with my hands. My heart felt so heavy lately. I had no idea what to do. I felt so lost now that our mother wasn’t here. A huge piece of our family was missing. What would we even do without her?

It was a funny thing, when you lost someone, only then did you truly realize what a big impact they had on your life and how much you needed them. You forgot to appreciate the fact they were there. You were so used to having them around that when they were suddenly taken from you … it just … it felt so suffocating.

I tried my best not to cry. I could feel my eyes fill with water, but I blinked away the tears. I had to remain strong. I had to be there for Laelia, now that our mother could never be. I had to be strong.

***

“James? James?”

It was in the middle of the night, when I found myself being nudged awake again. I had fallen asleep. Great, yet to my surprise it was not my brother who was in front of me.

“Father?” I asked, confused.

He smiled a little at me and then held out his hand. I grabbed it and he helped me up from the floor, but when I was on my feet again, I just stood there and stared at him. Was it really him? Was he really out of his room? I couldn’t believe this. A part of me feared we would never see him again. A part of me feared he would go join our mother, but here he was, and he looked … well, all right actually. He at least looked better than I had suspected.

“Go sleep, James,” he said.

I just looked at him for a little while before his words finally hit me and I shook my head.

“I am watching over Laelia,” I said.

He smiled and placed his hand on my shoulder.

“I heard. I was also told you wouldn’t leave until I got here. Now I am here.”

It was true. Now he was here, but even if I had said I would not leave until my father got here, I … I now saw I didn’t want to leave at all. I glanced at Laelia, who was still a good little sister, just sleeping and resting. She was so easy, I hoped it would stay like that always. It would make my job a lot easier too.

“James.”

I looked back at my father.

“It is okay,” he said. “You can go get some rest.”

“And you? You will watch over her?” I asked.

He nodded.

“I will stay right here with her.”

I didn’t like it. A part of me thought I might be dreaming, but I knew I was awake, yet I was not sure I wanted to leave Laelia in his care. He had disappeared for three days and now he looked … fine. It worried me he looked like he always did. Did he really only need three days to grieve? Or did he … blame Laelia for any of it? I had feared my brothers projecting their anger, but what about my father?

“I might just stay a little longer,” I said.

“James,” he said. “Go sleep. You need it. You can come by in the morning.”

He clearly didn’t want me to stay and unless I wanted to argue with him in the middle of the night, I did what he told me to. So slowly, I turned away and walked over to the door. My father was watching me, and I turned to look at him one last time. I truly hoped she would be here in the morning.

***

The sun had barely gotten up when I was hurrying down the many hallways to Laelia’s room. I stormed through the doors and over to the crib … but she wasn’t there! In my panic, I looked around the room before... I was just about to leave her room when my eyes caught something. I walked over to the window facing the big garden and looked out of it.

There he was, my father, and with Laelia in his arms, showing her around and most likely telling her the many stories we had already heard of how our family came to be this powerful and how far our kingdom stretched. We owned the entire North. We were its rulers.