Dragon's Fire

Six

    The rain starts to fall, making me feel like I need to run. Feel the forest floor beneath my feet and feel the rain on my face. I get to my feet and take off,

“Wait!” Kayden yells after me, I look back and smiles at him, my hair whipping around in the long braid. I keep running playfully through the forest. The light dress I am wearing becomes soaked to the bone, I put my arms out and spin. 

For the first time in months, I feel happy. 

    Kayden catches up to me with ease and stares at me like I have just escaped from a mental asylum. I turn and smile at him as I spin again. I get tired and flop down on the ground. I start to laugh, a full hearted laugh that makes my stomach hurt. I look over to see Kayden watching me smiling. 

    I get up after a while and go to stand beside him, he holds out his hand for me to take and I do. 

    He walks me back to the castle and back to his room. 

“You should go shower to warm up” He nudges me towards the bathroom. 

I write on my notepad and show it to him. 

Can I have a bubble bath?

“Of course, take your time… Are you hungry?” 

I nod, “Alright, I’ll get some food.. Do you want to watch a movie after your bath?” 

I haven’t seen a movie in forever, I nod excited. Kayden laughs and tells me to have my bath. 

    I watch the bathtub fill and add some bubbles to it, I step inside and feel the hot water wash over me. It feels really nice to have a bath, the last one didn’t go so well, but I have no immediate plans on slitting my wrists again. I relax and let my sore muscles soak. I’ve been here for a few weeks now I think and I’m still not fully recovered from the night Kayden saved me.  I lay my head back and close my eyes. 

There’s a knock on the door, Kayden checking on me, he pokes his head in and I cover myself,

“Are you alright?” He asks, looking at the floor. 

    I nod and give him a thumbs up, he closes the door again. I get out of the bath and dry off, wrapping the towel around me. I wash my face and go to the bedroom. 

    “Oh I forgot to get you dry clothes, I’ll take you shopping tomorrow.. For now why don’t you wear one of my shirts?” He goes to a large dresser and pulls out a black t-shirt offering it to me. I take it and head back to the bathroom. I drop my towel and go to put on the shirt, I pull it over my head and it covers me easily almost to my mid thigh. I pick up the collar and bring it to my nose, giving it a small sniff. It smells of cloves and a hint of cinnamon, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, I enjoy it. 

    I walk back out and see Kayden sitting on the couch, turning the TV on. I sit beside him and see there's pizza on the coffee table and Kayden has a beer beside him. 

He is a drinker. I hope he is not like the men at the bar when they would try to touch me or try anything… 

I tuck my feet under me as he tries to find something for us to watch. 

    “What about this one?” He nods to the TV, a movie description is on the screen, I scan it and shake my head. We do this for a few minutes before finally settling on a movie called Twilight, it’s about a vampire family. I get bored of the movie and play with the lap blanket on the couch. I finished eating the pizza a while ago but I do still feel peckish. I sigh and shift around, my legs are falling asleep under me, I stretch them out and try to get more comfortable. Kayden grabs my legs gently and rests them over his lap, my body goes hot. I stare at him for a moment to see if he is going to do anything else but he doesn’t. I can’t help but feel like my body is on display now, I want to move my legs but I’m terrified to move at all. I feel myself getting hot, my hands start to sweat and my neck feels tacky. 

    “Calm down… Just breathe..” Kayden tells me, he’s watching me closely. I snap my head up to look him in the eyes, how does he know what I’m feeling, that I am freaking out on the inside? 

    He gives me a reassuring nod and imitates taking a deep breath. I follow suit and inhale deeply, letting it out slowly.   

“See? You are in control” He smiles, I pull my legs off him and sit up on the couch. 

    The movie finishes and Kayden asks if I want to watch another one, I shake my head no and get up. I walk over to the patio and open the door, I point outside. Trying to tell him I want to go for a walk. 

“You want to go outside? For a walk?” He asks. I nod 

    “Alright, it’s stopped raining now at least.. But you have to put on something else” He hands me a pair of sweatpants and I slide them on, they are massive on me. I roll up the waist and the legs. I feel like a little kid wearing my older brother’s clothes. 

    Once he is satisfied I am dressed warm enough we head back outside. I walk ahead of him, finding my way in the dark. I turn around trees like I’ve been in this forest a million times before, knowing my way even without the light. I find myself at a creek, it feels familiar to me but I can’t place it. I don’t remember coming here last time, so there’s no way I could remember it. 

I feel Kayden watching me with curious eyes as we walk. 

“You really enjoy being outside don’t you?” He comments, trailing behind me. I look back to him and smile while I nod. 

“Can I ask you something about your past?” 

I nod without thinking about what his question could be. 

    “What happened to make you mute?” He asks in a serious tone, keeping his eyes on me patiently waiting for me to answer. 

I pull out my pen and paper and write. 

    I was abandoned as a child, I thought if even my parents didn’t want me then nobody else would either. After that talking didn’t seem so important anymore, nobody wanted to listen to me anyways.. It was just easier that way. 

I hand over the notepad and let him read it before I start walking again. I can hear him rip the page out, I look back to see him shoving it in his pocket. 

“We should head back now” He tells me, turning away from me and walking back to the castle. I swear I seen a certain wetness in his eyes before he turned, 

Was he crying?

    I have to walk at a quickened pace to keep up with him, he has a large step. Twenty minutes we are back inside and I am tired, I can’t stop yawning, it must be late. 

    “You should get some sleep” He says, still not looking at me, I just crawl into bed and bury my head in the pillow. It’s quiet for a while then I hear footsteps and I tilt my head to the side to watch as Kayden enters the bathroom. He leaves the door slightly cracked open, just a sliver, I see the light seep into the bedroom. The shower turns on and I hear him step in, I can hear him splashing water around, I try to go back to sleep but the noise is a distraction. I can’t help but think about what is on the other side of that door. Less than ten feet away from me, I take a calming breath and pinch my eyes shut.

     After a whale the shower turns off and a few minutes later Kayden steps out, wearing just a towel. His muscular body illuminated by the bathroom light. I see scars littering his chest, a long ragged scar from his collarbone just past his n****e, crossing the middle of his chest. Other small scars on his arms and lower stomach, his abdominal muscles flex as he moves around. His hair looks almost black but the light makes the red in it almost shine. I have to admit he looks sexy as hell… I feel myself go wet. I push my face back into the pillow and try to ignore the feelings inside me festering up. 

After what felt like hours later I finally fell back asleep. 

I’m in a plain looking room, it’s white with no fixtures, it’s brightly lit. I can hear people talking about me. They are looking down at me from the ceiling of the room. Pity and disgust in their eyes as they watch me. 

“She should just disappear”

“Not really a big loss, I mean look at her..”

“The world is better off without another pathetic soul” 

“Look at her! She looks like a street rat..”

“We should never have taken her in”

“She should have just died on the streets and never bothered us”

“We can get rid of her, make it look like an accident”

    I feel like each word is a stab to my heart, I can’t take the pain. I try to block them out as I cover my ears with my hands. I pinch my eyes shut but it doesn't stop the tears from coming. I feel like I could cry forever, letting the pain escape my body for once. All these years I barely made a sound, they are all coming out now. 

    I scream in agonizing pain as I cry, the room starts to fill with my tears, slowly at first. The salty water makes a small puddle at my feet, then it’s up to my ankles and I’m sitting in it. Next thing I know it’s to my thighs, it’s not stopping neither are my cries of sorrow. I just want the pain to stop. 

“Make It go away!”  I sob, the water rises even more. The room darkens as the lights go out. I want to stop crying but I can’t. I feel like my chest has been cracked open and everything is flooding out of me. 

    I scream at the top of my lungs as the water engulfs me completely, sucking me down to the floor. I feel trapped, pinned down under the weight of it all. I can’t move, hard as I try. I scream some more, the air from my lungs escapes me and I am being filled with my own tears. I try to cough it out but it makes it worse, I can’t breathe, I am drowning in my own tears and sadness. 

"Stop fighting it!" I hear myself say, "Let it happen." 

I feel so numb, all the pain has finally let my body. I lay in the room of tears I’ve created, 

How could one person have so much pain and sadness? 

    I want to close my eyes and sleep but something tells me to stay awake. Just as the room is about to go completely dark I see a light, a silhouette of a man coming towards me. 

    Kayden is walking towards me, the water is not touching him at all, it’s like he’s got a bubble around him that keeps it at bay. 

“Are you ready to come home yet?” He asks, holding out his hand for me to take

“I don’t have a home” 

“Yes you do.. You just need to remember.. Your body is trying so hard but your mind is blocking it.. Stop fighting it” He tells me. 

“I don’t understand” I choke out. 

    He pulls me to my feet and walks me out, inside his bubble. We get outside and there’s a beautiful forest set out before a castle, not the one I know but a familiar different one. 

    I wake up gasping, my body drenched in a sheet of sweat. Kayden is beside me, shaking me. 

“You were having a nightmare, you were crying” He says with sadness as he straightens up. 

“Are you alright?” He asks, I shake my head no. 

I am anything but alright.