Impossible lover (true story)

Chapter 2

So we are here in Nederland. I love this country. The people are nice and kind, the salaries are much higher than at home, so it’s already worth it to come here. The place and the work was not new for me. I visited my father here a year ago in the summer break. It was not a vacation though. I worked for those 2 months. It was nice and I earned some money that I could give my mom.

The work was not difficult or hard and the salary was good also, so I came back gladly. I was always a hard worker, probably because I always cared about what people thought about me, I wanted to fit in and never give them a reason to be disappointed in me.

The company that we worked for had flats and houses for the employees, so we moved into a flat with 2 other people. It was not a problem to live with them because we were from the same city, so we knew each other already. The flat was nice, not too big but enough for 4 people. Tyler and I were happy to live together finally, as we were really in love with each other even after 2 years.

Every day I woke up at 4 am because we needed to start at 6 o’clock. After a while, it became a routine and we used to wake up early. My father was the team leader of our team, so he sent the work plan to us every day. You would think that was a benefit to me... well, quite the opposite.

After a few weeks of working there, one day I woke up feeling dizzy, so I called my father to take a free day from work. He was never happy about it, even if that’s not happened so often, but I really couldn’t work like that. I felt nauseous too and my period was late. One would think that I was pregnant but we thought I wasn´t because we never used protection for 2 years and I never got pregnant, so we thought Tyler had some problem down there. He didn’t go to the doctor because we didn’t want a baby yet. We were still too young, so we decided we would visit the doctor if we were ready for it. Tyler is 5 years older than me, so he wanted children already, but I didn’t.

A few days later I still didn’t feel good, I couldn’t stand the smell of foods or cigarette so I even stopped smoking. I was worry already because of this sickness, it didn’t want to pass so I decided to buy some pregnancy test just to make sure it’s not that. To my biggest surprise and shock, I was 6 weeks pregnant. I cried a lot, I didn’t want to be a mom at age 19 so I was very stressed and sad about it. I was scared too about my father’s reaction. He was very protective of me, I didn’t know how to tell him, so I didn’t.

When Tyler and I started dating and dad learned about it he was furious. He said if he sees us on the street holding hands he is going to brake his arms with his baseball racket what he kept in his car. My father was a quiet man with big muscular body, blue-grey eyes and red hair what he shaved off. Everybody was afraid of him because he was quiet though, he was intimidating, especially when he was angry so you can understand why I didn’t want to tell him about my condition.

A few weeks after I found out about my pregnancy Dana came up with the idea to move into a big house all of us together. We didn’t really want to ,but we needed to move out from the company house because of the baby and we didn’t have enough money to rent one on our own so we agreed. We found a nice big house with 3 floors and 7 rooms. The neighbourhood was quiet and nice too, it was perfect. Everything went well. We got along well with Dana , I told her about my pregnancy and she was laughing at me because I was scared to tell my father.

Mom was adifferent story, when I told her about my pregnancy she just said

“Oh, me too.”

“What?” I asked her.

“I am pregnant too” she said with a laugh.

“Oh, okay.” Phew... This was easy.

So this was the conversation with my mother and then I found out about my brother who is going to born around the same time as our son. I hoped it will be easy like this with dad as well.

My mother has a boyfriend already a year and now they will have a son together. I am happy for her.

One day I was sitting in the kitchen talking with Dana because I had a free day from work and my father stepped into the house after his shift was done. I was 3 and half months pregnant already so my belly was showing already, but because I was chubby, nobody noticed it. They thought I just gained some weight. To my biggest surprise Dana went to give a kiss to my father and said

“Congratulations grandpa”

´Seriously she just said that?´ I couldn’t breathe suddenly, I was so afraid of his reaction. Dad face paled and he said

“Don’t joke about this things, it’s not funny “

“It’s not a joke... your daughter is pregnant “ she said laughingly.

´Ughhh... I hate her so much.´ She likes to tease my father but this is about my life people... how could she? I was angry and scared but at least I didn’t need to tell him anymore. He was shocked at first and then angry, especially at Tyler but luckily he wasn’t at home yet. I understand him from one part, he didn’t want to be a grandpa at age 41 but he couldn’t do anything about it so he accepted it with time.

We were working hard with Tyler to save money for the baby, even pregnant I needed to work. At that time I worked together with Dana , I needed to change my workplace to earn more money so I went to work with her. I didn’t really know anyone there , I was quiet and only talked to Dana mostly. We was working with newspapers, everybody had 5 machines to feed with the papers and it was my second day so I wasn’t so fast yet.

The alarm by one of my machines turned on and I didn’t know first what it means so I panicked. It meant that the machine were about to be empty of papers so I should fill it up, but the line leader was nearby so he helped me with it. While he filled my machine up I was embarrassed to just stand there so I went to help the girl next to me because the lights of her machine turned on too. After that the line leader went back to the front. I didn’t know why but Dana didn’t like that I helped for the girl and said sarcastically

“Are you proud of yourself now? You showed them how good you are , didn’t you?”

I was surprised. I almost started crying, not because I am a crying baby but the pregnancy, the stress, the pressure and the new place ,everything came down on me at once.

“What are you talking about?” I asked her with shaking voice. I tried to blink back the tears what was about to fall.

“You know what I am talking about!” She said and I couldn’t hold myself back anymore, I couldn’t say nothing because I really didn’t know what was her problem so I just said

“You are crazy “ and with that I put my head phones into my ears, wiped my tears away discreetly and went back to work. I was still young but I knew that I didn’t do anything wrong and everybody would do that if they would be in my place so I knew she has something problem. Since that day everything changed between us.