The White Wolf's Brother

Saying Goodbye

After my short work day was over, I called Carrie to make sure Mom was doing ok. She told me that Mom had woken up for a little while, but still hadn't been hungry. I was concerned about that, but, with sadness in her voice, she reminded me that most patients gradually stopped eating before they passed away. This sent a stabbing pain through my heart. I wasn't sure that I was ready to face life without my mom, but I knew that I would have to do so, and soon.

  I asked Carrie if she would be able to hang out for another hour, and she agreed to it. I never asked for an hour or so to myself, so she knew that when I did, I really needed it. I had only let Dion out to run once, and that was the first time I shifted. He desperately wanted to go for a run, and I needed the time to clear my head. 

  I headed for the woods on the northern end of our pack lands, which was only about a fifteen minute walk from the butcher's shop. Once I got there, I headed straight for the hollowed out tree I always stashed my backpack in. Stripping out of my clothes, I stuffed it all in the backpack and stashed in inside the tree. Then I crouched close to the ground and let Dion come forward. Before long, I wouldn't have to crouch like that, but being that this was one of my first few shifts, I hadn't quite mastered the art of not falling on my face while shifting just yet. 

  Soon, I felt the horrendous pain of my bones breaking and rearranging themselves, and I saw Dion's sand colored fur sprout all over my skin. I was told that the pain would lessen with every shift, until it was at a more manageable level. It also took me a couple of minutes to shift, whereas more experienced werewolves can shift in just a matter of seconds. I reminded myself that I needed to start shifting more, because if I was ever attacked, I may not have a couple of minutes to shift. 

   Once my shift was completed, Dion pointed his snout skyward, enjoying the breeze for a few seconds before releasing a long, joyful howl. Then he turned and bounded through the trees, yipping with joy as he felt the wind rippling through his fur. 

  We ran through the forest, zigzagging around trees, leaping over fallen logs, and just in general enjoying the rare feeling of freedom. We came to a clearing where a beautiful waterfall cascaded down a hillside into the most beautiful, clear pond you can imagine. I wished we could take a long nap right by the water, but I knew that Carrie was waiting for me to come back to care for my mom so that she could go onto her next assignment, caring for yet another ailing pack member. I did take a nice, long drink of the ice cold water before rolling in the grass for a few minutes. Dion insisted that he deserved at least that much for putting up with me every day. Darn cheeky wolf. 

  When we were done in the clearing, I ran back to the hollowed out tree where I'd stashed my things, but instead of shifting back right then, I decided that I could get home faster if I ran there in wolf form. We were on our territory where humans were not allowed, so it was pretty common to see pack members in their wolf forms roaming around. I grabbed the backpack in my mouth and headed back to my house. When I got there, I shifted back into human form and redressed before going inside. 

  I found Mom awake, sitting up in her hospital bed and watching In The Heat Of The Night. She always swore that Bubba was a werewolf, being such a big guy and, in her words, "so d**n sexy.* Not exactly words every guy wants to hear from their mom. Carrie was on the couch, working on the blanket she'd been knitting for weeks. It was a swirl of purple and pink, and she was getting close to being done. 

  Both of them looked up and smiled at me as I walked in, although Mom's smile looked a bit forced. After a hello to Carrie, I leaned down and kissed the top of Mom's head. "Hi, Mama. How are you feeling today?"

  She shook her head. "Not so good today, son," she replied weakly. 

  "Have you eaten yet? Carrie said you weren't hungry earlier," I asked.

  "No, son, I'm just not hungry today," she said sadly. She knew that her time was getting short.  

  "I offered again to cook her something or even go pick something up if she wanted, but she said no," Carrie spoke up. "She did take her medicines though, about an hour and a half ago, and she's drank some water."                       

  I nodded. I didn't like the way things were going, but I knew that there was nothing I could do to stop it. With that in mind, I was determined not to let whatever time I had left with my mom be full of tears and sadness. And I knew for a fact that she felt the same way.

  "Thanks for staying over today, Carrie. I haven't shifted since my birthday, and Dion really needed to go for a run," I told her.

  Carrie knew as well as I did that werewolves need to shift at least every few days or we start to go a little crazy - sometimes more than a little. You know those horror movies that you see where werewolves go around killing everyone they see? Well, what most people don't know is that a lot of those movies are based off of various stories that started out with a grain of truth to them. Humans have, on rare occasion, seen werewolves that have gone insane, be it from the loss of their mate or from not being allowed to shift for far too long. The end result is never pretty and always ends with the werewolf being put down like rabid dogs. There are also creatures called Lycans. They're kinda like us werewolves except a lot bigger and a lot more powerful. And they walk on two legs instead of four. A single insane Lycan can wipe out several towns. Anyway, I'm getting way off the subject. 

  After Carrie left, I offered to make her something light to eat, like maybe a salad, but she even declined that, and Mom has never been one to turn down a good salad. 

  I made myself a big salad with big chunks of grilled chicken, black olives, cheese, tomatoes, diced ham, and a few jalapenos mixed in with the lettuce and drowned it all in ranch dressing. I was going to sit by Mom while I ate - in the hopes that maybe it would at least make her a little hungry - but when I peeked through door after I made my salad, she'd dozed off, with In The Heat Of The Night still playing on the TV. So I stood at the counter in the kitchen and ate before going to shower and change. On my way to the shower I made sure to put the little bell I kept in the living room right by Mom's hand. Sometimes her voice was weak enough that, even with werewolf hearing, I couldn't hear her, so I would always try to make sure the little bell was in her reach. She knew to ring it if she couldn't call for me. 

  I showered, then peeked in on her one more time, only to find her still sleeping. I decided to play some video games in my room, in order to keep from disturbing her. Unlike most guys my age, I like the old games. While a lot of guys were playing things like Call Of Duty, or Fortnite, I was more into things like Mortal Kombat, or even Super Mario Bros. I had managed to find an old original Nintendo game system for a pretty decent price a few months ago, and used some of my savings to buy it. I almost never bought things for myself, so I figured it was ok to spend $40 on a game system. I had more than gotten my money's worth out of it.

  I had been playing Super Mario Bros for about an hour when I heard the bell ring. I immediately paused the game and walked out into the living room. Mom turned and tried to smile at me, but I could tell that was becoming more difficult for her.

  "Well, hello, Sleeping Beauty," I said with a cheerfulness I didn't feel. It broke my heart to see her suffering this way. "What can I help you with this evening, madam?" I added jokingly, hoping to get another smile out of her.

  It worked, sort of, She managed another ghost of a smile before whispering, "Would you get me some more water, please?"

  I picked up the empty Yeti on the rollaway tray that we kept beside her bed. I had gotten it for her for Mother's Dad the previous year. It was hot pink and said, "World's Best Mom" on the side. "Sure thing, Mom. Do you want something to eat?"

  She shook her head. "Just water, please," she rasped out. 

  I kissed the top of her head. "You sure? I made a killer salad earlier. It would only take a minute to make you one."

  She shook her head and simply pointed at the cup. I gave her hand a quick squeeze then went into the kitchen to fill it up. I filled it about halfway with ice just the way she liked it, then poured water into it from the gallon of spring water in the fridge. I wished I could've gotten her to eat something, but I knew I couldn't force her. Besides, it wouldn't have done any good anyway. Carrie had explained to me that her body was beginning the process of shutting down, and would likely reject any food that she tried to eat anyway. She had also explained to me that as the end approached, Mom wouldn't feel hunger the way most of us do. Eventually she would most likely also stop feeling thirsty, so I supposed I should be grateful she was at least still drinking water, for now. 

  I took the cup back into the living room, and helped Mom take a few sips from it. Even that seemed to be a struggle for her. Finally, she leaned back and laid her head on her pillow, looking as though just the act of drinking the water had exhausted her.

  "Better?" I asked her. She nodded and tried once again to smile. 

  "Tired today," she whispered weakly.

  I smiled at her, trying not to let her see my sadness. "It's ok, Mom," I assured her. "You rest as much as you need to."

  She reached her hand out and laid it on my cheek. "My sweet son," she whispered. "I love you so much."

  I laid my hand over hers on my face. "I love you too, Mama."

  "When I'm gone...." she began, but trailed off as she started to cough. I helped her to take a sip, fighting the urge to tell her not to talk that way. As much as I wanted to deny it, she and I both knew her time was short, and I wanted to hear what she had to say. Finally she was able to continue talking. "When I'm gone, I want you to promise me that you'll leave this pack, like I never had the courage to. Go. Find your mate. Live your life. And most importantly, be happy. I know - " she paused to catch her breath for a minute. "I know you'll grieve, that you'll miss me. But I'll be watching over you, my sweet Todd. Make me proud, like you already do. Promise?" 

  I nodded. "I promise, Mama. I love you so much."

  She gave me that ghost of a smile again. "I love you too, son." With that, she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. 

  Somehow I knew in my heart those would be the last words I would ever hear my mother say. And my heart was shattering into a million pieces.