Forever His & His Ghost

Chapter 16: The Letter

   The next four days went by so fast it felt like I only blinked my eyes, I spent my time either on the beach from sunup till sundown, or I spent it by the pool. I slept or read, no electronics. Marie and Preston were inseparable, they stayed in each other's arms all the time, and it was so sweet. My brother had really grown up and come so far in the last couple of years since we left the city.

       "Sis, you should see this!" Preston shouted from the balcony condo, the urgency in his voice got my attention, I didn't even second guess my next move as I ran to the house.

       Marie was sitting on the couch with her laptop in front of her and her mouth wide open. "What is it?" I panted out from running in this hundred-degree weather.

      "I think you were set up." She whisper yelled and pointed at the computer screen.

      "I am going to kill him," Preston boomed, making me jump.

      "It can't be that bad guys," I rolled my eyes taking a seat next to Marie and pulling her laptop in my lap. Well, that's what I thought till I read the headline and my heart stopped.

HOLLYWOOD PLAYBOY'S MIDNIGHT RENDEZVOUS WITH THE GIRL NEXT DOOR, that was the headline, and then there were pictures of us on the beach. Meaning Isaac and me, and from the angle the pictures were taken they looked as if we were having romantic moments, especially the one of him bending over and gently kissing my cheek.

       I dropped the computer and covered my face, a scream escaping my lips and tears rolling. "Why?" I managed to get out. "Oh my gosh guys, Jaxon. What is he going to think? I swear there was nothing there. We just sat and talked that's all. What am I going to do?"

       Preston took a seat next to me pulling me into his arms, "We will fix this. But you need to call Jaxon, like now." I nodded, running to my bedroom grabbing my phone and turning it on as I ran back to Preston's embrace. "Calm down," he purred.

     I took a deep breath and when the phone came on, nothing, still no call, text nothing. Maybe he hasn't seen it yet. I dialed his number and put it on speaker and looked at Preston who nodded for me to leave a message when I was forwarded to voicemail. "Hey, Jax it's me. Just calling to say I love you, and we need to talk. Please call me back."

      I hung the phone up and threw it on the table and curled into my brother to cry. In a few minutes my phone pings and Marie had it before I could even register to pick it up. When she picked it up and opened the message, she threw it down and started cursing bad enough, I think the sailors in Hawaii blushed. I quickly grabbed the phone and lit the screen up to check the message only to fill myself die on the inside.

JAXON: Don't try to feed me lies. Nothing to talk about. I see what choice you made; guess I should move on. Good Riddance.

       My world stopped spinning that day, and I don't honestly remember much of what happened the next two weeks. I know I didn't see Isaac again after that, and I vaguely remember Marie telling me about I was old news, and he had another story on a new girl. She talked her mom and dad into staying with me till I was ready to go back. I couldn't go back, but I couldn't stay here, so mom sent us to my aunt Claire's in Malibu. I had turned my phone off and hadn't even bothered it to put it on charge, I just tucked it into the bottom of my luggage bag, where I intended to leave it the rest of my life.

     Before I knew it June had passed, and July was now almost over. I had a few more weeks before school started back home. Marie had gone back a week ago, she had to help her mom and dad at the diner, the other waitress went on maternity leave. Preston wanted to go back to be with her, but he wouldn't leave me even though I kept telling him to go.

      "Sweety you can stay here and finish your senior year out. Plus, we aren't far from UCLA, so you wouldn't have far to move your stuff." Claire laughed handing me a cup of coffee as I sat in the hammock.

      "As promising as that sounds," I squared my shoulders up and gave her a smile. "I am going back. I will not let him or anyone else know they broke me. I am better than that. And besides, it's their loss, not mine." I took a sip. "I have to do this for me. If I don't I fear I will live my life thinking it's okay to pick up my bags and run from my problems when they get bad enough."

      "Spoken like a true Dukot. You know us Dukot woman are the toughest in the game." She said in a matter-of-fact tone that made me giggle.

      "So, I have been told. Besides Aunt Claire, he made it clear, he's done. Why would I want that in my life, why would I want to chase after someone who doesn't want me."

      She shrugged her shoulders, "The heart wants what it wants and does some crazy stuff."

     We both laughed, "I think you hit that nail on the head."

     "What are you two laughing about out here?" Preston joins us.

     "Skyla telling me here, she is going back." She gave a squeeze on my shoulder. "She is a tough cookie, she's got this." And she walked back in the house.

     "Really sis? I thought you would for sure take Aunt Claire up on her offer to stay here. I mean I know I would if I were in your shoes."

     "Thanks for the back up there bub."

     "Anytime." He gave me a smile and got up.

     I reached out and grabbed his arm, "Think you can get me some paper, pen and an envelope?"

    "Why?" he drew out very slow.

     "I need to do something. Let's call it closure." He nodded and disappeared in the house returning with what I asked for after a few minutes.

    "Hope you know what you are doing." I smiled at him as he walked back in.

     "Me too." I said to myself.

      I placed the paper in my lap and laid the pen to it as I took a deep breath and let my hands flow with the words of my heart.

To my first and only love.

If someone told me I would be writing this with a broken heart a year ago, I would have laughed in their face. If someone would have told me I would have found the other half to my soul at only sixteen years old, I would have laughed at them. If someone would have told me that I would chase someone to the moon and back at seventeen, I would have laughed in their face. If someone would have told me that mere weeks before my eighteenth birthday, the oxygen I needed to breath would be turned off and my heart would fall to a million pieces with no one to catch it as I fell, I would have laughed.

My deepest regret, I lied to you. I promised to never break your heart and here I sit, a million miles away and not there to mend your broken heart, not that you would take the comfort, I am sure.

Please know, my heart will always beat with a special place in it for you. I will never be able to show you the shame I feel. I hope that things were not blown out of context, and I hope that you know truly in the bottom of your heart I would never do that to you. I only hate that I was trying to be a friend, and was taken advantage of, and for that s what I paid for having a big ole heart.

Always and Forever yours and wishing you all the best in this world.

With Love.

       I dropped a few tears on it as I sealed it in the envelope and addressed it, making sure not to leave a return address on it. This should get there in plenty of time, before school starts. Maybe he will let sleeping dogs lie and we can peacefully coexist for the next 8 months of school.

      "Ready?" Mom asked as she stuffed my luggage in the trunk.

      I was back home, actually I was still at the airport, but only an hour away from home. I had dreaded coming back so bad that I waited until literally the Friday before school started to come back. I didn't even spend my eighteenth birthday with my parents. Thanks goodness they understood and didn't seem to mind me not being here. Marie kept Preston in the loop with the fact that everything was quiet here, no one seemed to miss me gone, or had heard of the drama, to which I was grateful. Mom called the school last week and made sure that I had no classes with Jaxon, so I only had to avoid him in the hallways and lunch break. I was pretty sure I could do that.

      "Look how tan you are baby girl." Mom gushed opening the back door.

      "All she did was sit at the beach or pool. She should be tan." Preston teased as he climbed in the front with mom.

      "Well, she deserved it. Every girl should have some down time." Mom smiled through the rear view mirror.

      "Thanks mom." I gave her a smile back.

      The ride back to town was quiet, mom and Preston jabbered back and forth, but I just stared out the window. My mind overthinking things again, I was trying to play every scenario out in my head, everything I could think of that might or might not happen, how I could possibly handle it, how would I react, would I cry, would I scream, nope I think I will run, I will run away from it all. I just had to get through a few more months and life will be just fine.

      "We are home." Mom announced pulling in the driveway and I couldn't help the smile spreading across my face when Marie came bouncing down the steps welcoming me with open arms.

      "I missed you," she squealed in my ear, and she hugged me so tight, I felt like a cartoon character whose eyes were fixing to pop out.

      "I missed you too."

      "So, want to go to the back-to-school bon fire tonight?" She smiled and I just gave her that look like, yea right. "Oh yea, um how about movie marathon this weekend."

      "That sounds perfect."

      "Go on girls, me and Preston will get this stuff in, see you guys in a bit."

      We walked into my room hand in hand, and I came to a dead stop, there on my pillow was a single lavender rose, I walked over picking it up, and from the look of it, it had laid here a couple of days. "Hey Marie, any idea?" I ask twirling it around in my finger, deep in thought.

      "No, I have no clue." She couldn't hide the honesty in her eyes.

       I ran downstairs and confronted mom, dad, and Preston and they also had no clue. I didn't even bother asking Darlene, she couldn't care less. I rushed back upstairs just shrugging it off, I grabbed my favorite book, yes as Cliché as it sounded, Cinderella was my favorite book, I plucked the bud from the stem and tucked it in safely between some pages before returning it back to the shelf and joining Marie on the bed.

      That weekend we watched all the Twilight series, all the Harry Potter Series and made it halfway through the Lord of the rings series when Sunday night finally came, and it was time for school.

      "See you in the morning," I hugged her as she left my house to head home. I only hoped I sounded confident. School, oh I am not ready, I want to go back to Malibu.

      I marched back to my room and huffed as I plopped down on the bed. I can do this, I am strong, they will not break me, only eight months and then freedom. I am strong, I can do this, they will not break me, only eight months and then freedom. That was my midnight chant until a restless night of sleep took over.

      The next morning Preston and I were up and gone before Darlene even rolled over, I think. Stepping on school campus I felt like I couldn't breathe, my hands were clammy, my heart was beating out of my chest at the same time as feeling like an elephant was on my chest, I could feel the world starting to spin, and then student drivers started pulling in and parking and getting out to walk in. I knew I was going to pass out right then.

       Well, that was until I felt an arm over my shoulder to my left, and one around my waist to the right. "We got you." They said at the same time, and I felt everything come back to normal.

      "Let's go," Marie whispered, and they led me to my first class.

       The day was a total heart stopper. Every step I took, every breath I took, it stopped, it would just stop leaving me clenching my chest at every corner. By the time lunch came, I was sure my skin was no longer tan but white as a ghost. There were a few close calls, I never technically saw him, but I heard his voice a few times and that was my cue to run. I was also lucky enough to not have classes with any of his friends, or to have to run into Darlene or Samantha. Lunchtime, I snuck into the janitor's closet and that was where I intended on eating lunch the rest of the year, it was quiet, sure it stunk a little, but no one was here, and no one would find me. When the final bell rang for the day, I let out the breath I didn't even realize I had been holding all day. Now all I had to do was get out of the building and to Marie's car. That's all.

       I debated for a half a second, wait till everyone is gone, or duck down and move with the flow of the crowd. I decided to move with the flow of the crowd, I can easily blend in with everyone else, especially with Marie and Preston not hanging on to me. I pulled my hair down out of a messy bun and put it in a long ponytail tucking it in the back of my shirt, threw my bag over my shoulder, darted out into the crowd, hunkered over and just moved with everyone else. I could hear his voice to my left and it didn't seem like he was very far away at all, he was laughing and joking with his friends, and from the sound of it, he was perfectly happy. I just shook my head and kept moving until finally his voice was out of range and I felt the fresh air hit my face. Not thinking twice, I took off at a sprint to Marie's car and jumped in the back ducking all the way down in the seat.

       A deep rumble of a laughter came from the front seat, and I froze, finally realizing I am not alone. "Crap!" I whisper yelled.

       Mark leaned over the seat to peer down at me almost in the floor. "Hello Princess."

      I rolled my eyes and sat up a little more, "Please don't say anything. I only have to get through eight months or however long this school year is."

       He held his hands up in mock surrender, "Secret is safe with me. And just FYI I don't know how you did it today, but you stayed off the radar. He has looked everywhere for you."

      My heart skipped a beat and then I let out a deep breath, "It wasn't easy. But I am sure he wasn't looking for me, I just can't bear to see him right now. My heart won't take it, I swear."

      "Just a bit of advice. Talk to him."

       That was all he said as Marie and Preston climbed in the car and we pulled away unscathed, today anyway. I still have more time to go. A lot more time!

       Days turned into weeks, and soon enough two months had passed by. I had successfully managed to stay off everyone’s radar, it took some help though, turns out I didn’t only have Marie and Preston looking out for me, I also had Mark, he was kind of becoming like another big brother. I confided in him more than I ever thought I would, and he let me cry on his shoulder more times than one. My routine was simple, go to school, go to the diner and sit in the kitchen till Marie’s shift was over, Mark took me home, and then on the weekends, I either spent it at Marie’s house, or locked in my bedroom away from Darlene. Mom thought I was just grieving so her and dad gave me space, no one knew the real reason was my darling sister, I had to stay away from her and Samantha.

              Days turned into weeks, and soon enough two months had passed by. I had successfully managed to stay off everyone’s radar, it took some help though, turns out I didn’t only have Marie and Preston looking out for me, I also had Mark, he was kind of becoming like another big brother. I confided in him more than I ever thought I would, and he let me cry on his shoulder more times than one. My routine was simple, go to school, go to the diner and sit in the kitchen till Marie’s shift was over, Mark took me home, and then on the weekends, I either spent it at Marie’s house, or locked in my bedroom away from Darlene. Mom thought I was just grieving so her and dad gave me space, no one knew the real reason was my darling sister, I had to stay away from her and Samantha.