Forever His & His Ghost

Chapter 20: Time to Find the Spark

9 years later

      "I am not wearing that tonight." I wrinkled my nose to the costume Marie threw on my bed as she walked in to read my latest writing.

      "Oh yes you are," she grumbled while her nose was shoved in the paper.

      "Nope, I am going old school," she glanced up from the paper and I threw my outfit on the bed. "The good ole jeans that fit just right, my cute washed-out sky-blue top that fit my curves perfect and then flowed loosely at the waist just above the pocket line on the jeans, and off shoulder. "And this." I grabbed my hat and plopped it on my head, scoring a laugh from the other side.

      "Leave the hat off and let that hair down. And I only agree to that with the boots." She pointed to my old worn-out pair of western boots in the corner. "You might be a city girl by birth, but girl you rock this whole cowgirl thing."

      We both laughed and I slumped down on the bed in silence while she finished reading the paper. For a couple weeks I had been putting off the whole party at Billy's, but Marko, Preston and Marie had really been drilling it into my head that I needed to get out, have a little fun; and my inner voice kept reminding me that my life is far from over. I knew it in the bottom of my soul I needed to breath again, I needed to find that spark of life, I had lost so many years ago, but my heart said it died that night and I would never feel it again.

        While lost in my inner thoughts, out of the corner of my eye I noticed Marie slowly lay the paper and I turned to glance at her. "What do you think?"

      She took a deep breath and when she finally looked at me, I could see tears clouding her eyes, "Why did you never tell me these things, I could have protected you, and you really lost your V-card that night?" I just nodded my head, "Oh my gosh girl, you never told me, and kudos to you both, you never went about things any different, you guys as a couple were every high school girls dream. Heck, just reading it, makes my heart swell and want to be a teeny bopper again." I think I might have looked like a doe in the headlights with her comment, she knew how the story went, how on earth could she want to have that. As if reading my mind, "That love Skyla, that is something very few in this lifetime ever find, and you found it, you owned it, and you are here today to tell that story, and make it feel like we are all there, right there with you, with that love." She got up and headed to the door, "Now go get ready. We have to go help set up before the party starts. And I heard that we have people coming from three counties away, maybe you could get laid." I threw the pillow at her head but missed her just as she shut the door with a big belly laugh.

      The afternoon seemed to go by with a blink of an eye, one minute I was getting all dolled up in my cowgirl outfit for the Halloween shin dig, then we rushed to the bar to start with decorations and setting the tables and stuff up so when the catering crew came in all they had to do was set the food out.

      "Oh, there is my beautiful girl Lexi." Billy shouted as he walked in turning the lights on behind the bar. Billy was a permanent fixture in this town, his weathered skin from years of farm life, for an older man in his sixties he wasn't too bad looking, tall, thickly built, shaggy salt and pepper hair, and always a smile.

      "Hi Billy." I ran over and squeezed his neck.

      "So glad you decided to come out tonight. We have a lot of people expected. May be our biggest turn out yet." He beamed with pride. Billy put this place on the map with his little bar. Everybody loved to come there, and they traveled sometimes from as far as two towns over.

      "Me too. I guess I was do a night out. And you know Amy, she wasn't going to let me sulk too long." We both laughed as Marie walked in, she was the sexy librarian this year, and whether she noticed or not, Preston was following her around like a lost puppy in his teacher outfit.

      "Alright Darling, got to get this place up and running, but you save me a dance you hear." He winked as he walked back behind the bar getting the glasses stocked and ready to use.

      Two hours later, it was in full swing, eight o'clock on the dot. The band was playing, the food was being served, people moving freely from the door, to around the tables, some two-stepping, and Billy had even opened the garage door, that opened the back patio up, making it more accessible for space.

     "On the house." Billy shouted sliding a shot glass down the bar to my hand, perfectly.

      I shot him a wink and threw it back, Jim Beam, oh boy I'm in trouble, I couldn't help but giggle at that little voice in my head.

      "Thanks!" I shouted back and he just laughed and went on.

      Within an hour there was probably four hundred people, and that was huge for our small town. Lots and lots of cowboys, and you know the saying wrangler butts driving me nuts, oh yea, I was feeling it. Thing about a true cowboy, their skin isn't always perfect, their hands are rough, their tough as nails and have attitude, but they always leave the girls shamelessly drooling.

      That was until me anyway, I liked to look, but my heart would never let me indulge in it, maybe one day. Of course, it could have been all the booze oozing it's way through my bones too, Billy had been feeding me shots for about an hour and I was also drinking my favorite, beer. The other women running around with their pretty little glasses and umbrellas, nope not me, beer in a bottle with shot of Jim on the side. It was all good.

      "Come let's dance!" Marie shouted above the music dragging me to the floor. This was home, this was safe, I could have some fun, tonight anyway.

      We danced for two hours straight, even on the slow songs we wrapped our arms around each other and swayed together. "There's my old friend, I knew she was hiding in their somewhere, begging to come out."

Marie smiled during one of those particular slow songs. I just laughed, but she was right, maybe it was the drinks, maybe it was all the writing and finally feeling like I was laying the past to rest, but I did feel like the old careless, fun me.

      "You are singing!" She shouted pulling me to the stage.

      "What no, no way, I haven't done that anywhere but in my shower. No way, nope not happening." I probably looked like a two-year-old having a tantrum and Marie was not giving in. She grabbed the mic and whispered in the lead singer's ear, giving me one of her mischievous grins.

      Finally, they nodded at each other, and she pulled me back to the bar. "Billy get my girl a few more drinks." Marie patted the bar and Billy just nodded.

      "Why?" I shouted throwing back two more shots.

      "Because my friend, step one, get you out of your bubble. Be a little risky. That's how we wake that long sleeping beast within. Life's short, you know this better than anyone, so let's live it." She boasted.

      "Thanks for coming out this evening. All donations go to the local fire departments, to help with all the hard work they do. We want to say thanks to all the workers going back home over the next week and we hope to see you again next year." He looked over at me and Marie sitting at the bar. "We have a surprise for you all tonight, our small town's sweetheart is going to get up and sing one with us. Now I have been told she is a little shy, so let's show her our country love and cheer her on." He pointed to me and smiled, "Come on Lexi!" And then the crowd went wild, it might have been a small town but boy they could sure help someone feel good and embarrass them all at the same time.

       "I am going to kill you," I glared at Marie before throwing one more shot back and walking to the stage. My heart was racing, but I was also smiling like a fool. This is just like karaoke, I can handle this, in college, I did lots of karaoke.

      I stepped on stage, and turned to the crowd, nope not like karaoke at all. "Thanks guys. So, what would you like to hear, you want to shake a little, or you want to sway to the beat of your heart?"

      They started chanting, shake it, shake it, shake it. I covered the mic and looked at the band. "Suggestions?"

      "Let's go with a classic, how about mustang sally?" The drummer winked.

     "Oh easy one and good idea" I smiled before turning back to the crowd. "Never done this before guys, bear with me, and I want to see a whole lot of shaking going on out here tonight." I laughed as the crowd roared again.

     The music started and I poured it all out, even found myself walking through the floor hip bumping with a few of the patrons while signing, if it was only for five minutes, for once in a long time I felt alive.

      "That was fun, thanks guys." I bowed and stepped off stage, and guess what, the old clumsy me came right out and I missed the last step. Falling forward I closed my eyes and put my arms up to protect my face just before the ground met it head on.

      After a second nothing, I was just hanging there. Oh no, my heart stopped, I thought I was going to throw up, this isn't happening, nope, nope, nope. I was quickly pulled back to my feet, and I felt the arms move to my shoulders and turn me around, my eyes still shut, freaking completely out. I was definitely having a déjà vu moment.

      "You alright Darling?" That country charm instantly made me relax and open my eyes, I wasn't sixteen again.

      "Yep, just being my clumsy self as usual. Thanks." He offered me a smile and it was infectious, I smiled back.

      "How about a drink?" I quirked a brow, "Not me of course buying you one, you buy me one for saying thanks."

      I rolled my eyes, but left the face on my face, "Come on." I turned and headed to the bar. The stranger took a seat beside me, and I tapped the bar, "Two shots and two beers Billy." Billy nodded.

      With the stranger looking out into the crowd I took a minute to take him all in. Couple inches taller than me, broad shoulders, bulging arms and thick legs, flat stomach his blue shirt was stretched perfectly across, black Stetson that sat on that shaggy raven hair. His eyes brown as the Alabama mud, sharp jawline. I sighed in annoyance, why me? He turned to look at me flashing that perfect smile at me, with his five o'clock shadow, neatly trimmed mustache and goatee.

      "Here," I slid him his drinks and turned on the stool to face the bottle wall.

      "So how about a proper introduction." He offered his hand over my arm. "Nick."

      I reluctantly took his hand, "Lexi, and thanks again."

     He laughed and I swear it felt like something stirred in my belly, "Nice to meet you Lexi, but sure wish it would have been on different terms. Although," he winked form under that hat, "Catching a pretty girl in my arms before she falls is not a bad thing at all."

     "So, you think you are a Prince Charming or something?" I knew I was being sarcastic, and probably a little mean, but just as I felt something stir in my stomach, the walls immediately went up.

     He shook his head throwing his shot back and motioning for another from Billy, "Not at all, but I do know how to treat a woman properly."

     We were silent for a moment, he seemed nice enough, what's wrong with a little small talk, right? "So, Nick, you don't sound like you are from around here?" I hope he understood I was asking a question.

     "Just moved to town." I nodded my head, I guess he didn't get the memo that the need for seasonal workers here is over, they are all leaving, but not my place to judge. "You?"

      "Have a small farm a few miles out of town." He just nodded his head, "Married?" OMG, I did not just ask him that.

     "Nope," he looked at me, "You?"

     "Nope," I popped the P, hoping he got the point not to ask anything further about that. I took the last drink, "Very nice to meet you Nick, but it's time for me to get going. Thanks again." I stood up and suddenly realized maybe I had drunk too much on an empty stomach when the room started spinning and I was seeing black spots. The last thing I remember was feeling like my body was being lifted into the air, and me looking deep into the Alabama mud, "You have pretty eyes."

      I vaguely remember a simple, thank ya darling, and that was it. Lights out, thoughts shut down, darkness welcomed me.