A realisation
829 Words
2 weeks later
*Jayce*
He knows he shouldn't be so uneasy, but he hadn’t been able to reach Raven throughout the evening, making him nervous for one reason or another.
He was off to shoot a movie and has been away for a week now. Thankfully it was just a minor role and he would be home again in 2 weeks.
He tried to call again and then he gave up pretending nothing was wrong and hurried down the hall to knock on Milo's door, he was also in the movie.
Milo came to open the door, and Jayce walked in immediately, making his friend look at him in astonishment. "Something wrong Jayce ?"
"Have you talked to Sarah today ? Did she say anything about Raven ?" He looked at Milo, he knew him and Sarah were talking several times a day.
Milo looked a bit puzzled. "Yes, I talked to her like five minutes ago and yes funnily enough she mentioned Raven ... she's on a date, but why are you asking ?"
"On a date ? Oh well, that's fine ... I guess". Why did he suddenly feel that he couldn’t breathe? It was a good thing, she should find a nice boyfriend, he had said that himself.
He discovered that Milo was staring weirdly at him. "Uh Jayce, is something wrong ? You're suddenly so pale".
"No, oh no, I was just upset because I could not get a hold of her ... a date is fine, just fine, she should get out more, she decides herself and ...". He ran his hand through his hair.
Milo interrupted his tirade. "Jayce, just tell me, are you sure that you're completely okay with her being on a date ?"
"Yes, yes, why shouldn't I be okay with that ? I have told her several times that she has to find someone and she's old enough to decide for herself and I just hope he treats her okay". His mouth was running off with him again.
Milo held up a hand to stop him. "Uh Jayce, you're rambling and you are close to hyperventilating, what is happening with you and Raven".
"Nothing Milo, I'm just worried that I ... oh s**t". He sat down on the edge of the bed and grabbed his head with both his hands, it was suddenly clear to him that he had fallen in, deeply.
Milo crossed his arms on his chest, looking at him. "Oh s**t what Jayce ?"
"I ... I have done exactly what I shouldn't do, it should just have been, you know, without emotion, just casually, just when needed". He sighed deeply.
Milo's eyes got huge and he was choking on the words. "So that is what you have been up to lately ... you are f*****g Raven. Oh, you bloody i***t, let me guess it was your brilliant idea wasn't it ?"
"Yes ... Yes okay ... It seemed like such a good idea, none of us wanted a serious relationship, and I thought we were good enough friends ... that we could work it out." He ran his hand through his hair again.
Milo shook his head in despair. "Jayce damn it, things like that, it always goes bad, there is always one that gets their emotions caught up in it … and it seems to be you, but I wouldn't have expected otherwise".
"You were expecting that ? Why ?" Jayce looked confused at his friend. Why would he be the one who got his feelings entangled.
Milo actually began to laugh when he answered. "Jayce dammit, everybody, except you of course, have known that you are in love with her for years.. in fact we have a bet running on when you would get off your ass and realize".
"I've really messed up haven't I ? I can't go back now and try to mix emotion into it". He rubbed his hand over his face in frustration.
Milo patted him on the shoulder. "Well, we can always try, maybe there is a reason that her relationship never holds either ... maybe ... just maybe she compares them with someone they can't quite live up to".
"Do you think so ?" He really hoped so, he couldn’t stand the thought of losing her, why hadn't he realized before ? The s*x was just so amazing because it was with her and that the reason he had not be able to keep his hands off her, was that it was so much more than s*x.
Milo was biting his lip. "No, I know, but now don't tell anyone I told you..Sarah told me in secret, no man is good enough, because she holds them up against you".
He couldn’t help but smile, not that he thought he was the one to hold others up against, but at least he could live up to himself ... maybe he still had a chance to make this right.
- Writer
