Case of Amber Hark: Death is The New Birth

GICCA'S POINT OF VIEW I WAS walking down a dark road. There was only one street light which was not enough to light the road because I was getting farther and farther away. I did not know the place, I did not know where I was heading to, I had no clue why I was there, and how I got there. I was definitely walking in vain! Pointlessly walking! Few more steps and the streetlight would no longer reach my walk. The sudden clapping sounds of the atmosphere made me stop walking. I picked up a stone and threw it in the distance, because I think I saw something over there. It may not be in my imagination alone. “Hello? Is anyone there?” I asked loudly and my voice echoed. Nobody answered but I heard a slight crackle and that gave me a goosebump. Then, a creepy thought crept into my mind. What if someone's just watching me? My fear began to envelop me. I was so scared, like I would run out of blood anytime. It was as if I had felt this fear before. Have I experienced something that gave me so much fear like this? I think I did. I have a feeling that something bad would to happen to me, because... I... I just felt it. I think this was what they called déjà vu. I was familiar with the environment of this very spot, and the experience I saw in my déjà vu with this ambiance was not good at all. I held my head as its veins began to pound, causing a little ache on my head. I could not understand why I felt that way, or what kind of things were running through my mind. Déjà vu? What the hell?! That is insane. My mind was definitely in turmoil right now. Why would I believe in such things? Why would I let myself believe in Déjà vu? "Ugh." I moaned as I buried my fingers on the corner of my head. The little ache I had felt suddenly turned worse. The lawn danced in peace while the crickets sang freely. They were at peace, I was witnessing it loud and clear, but I could clearly feel the danger of this ‘peace’. “Hello?” I once again opened my mouth and got no answer. I shrugged and began to think about how to get rid of myself here. The surroundings were getting colder and crimes are happening more often at this time. It would be better to just go home. I was about to walk away, but I was suddenly frozen when a realization came to my mind. Gosh, I forgot! I didn't even know the way home! Sh*t! Just why the heck am I in the middle of nowhere?! This realization made me trembled in fear. I rolled my eyes around in case I could find any sign of where I was, but the place was empty! The surroundings were too dark. The only thing that lightened my sight was this street light and the lonesome bright full-moon. holy shoot, this might be my end. Gradually, I could feel the tears in my eyes, like a crying baby. I just felt like I was not safe in here, and I didn't ’t know just what to do to get rid of myself in here. Did somebody kidnapped me? I continued to stroll my gaze around without moving my feet an inch. Still looking for any familiar sign that could tell me where I was, so I could plan how to make my way home. “Argh!” I cried out as I writhed in pain. I received a sudden pain for no reason. The severe pain coming from the side of my abdomen caused me to sat down. My mouth opened as it trembled in pain, eyes were still on tears, and it was then I began to chase my breath. I touched that painful part as I knitted my forehead and was shocked to see it bleeding. What the hell?! I was not even touched by someone. Why? Why am I wounded? Why am I bleeding? I shivered when I saw my own blood wrapping my skin, and then I felt how my body started to get inexplicable freezing. As seconds took place, my mouth trembles even more that even my fingers trembled too. I could no longer think straight, the only thing that was running through my mind was a hope that someone would help me right now. Right now... --- “Gicca, Gicca, Gicca, wake up!” A repeated slap woke me up. I got up from my bed and touched my chest for its strong throbbing. My wide eyes gave a quick glimpse in the surroundings as panic triumphed in my heart. And then I let out a long sigh when I confirmed I was just in my room. Thank goodness I'm alright! Everything was just a dream, a very bad dream. "Phew!" I gave a deep sigh. Why was it that my dream was so bad that I almost died? Have I done something bad to punish me with such dream? Never did I experience such dream in my whole life! That dream was legit, it almost killed me, the thrill and the pain was real. Although it was just a dream. Weird. “You were crying like a child while on your sleep, what's wrong, sweetie?” my mom worriedly asked. I looked at her as I couldn't stop myself from catching my breath. I still couldn't feel the relief though. That was too realistic. I really felt the pain as if it was really happening to me physically. I even felt my moist blood on my skin. I was about to speak when I noticed some liquid dripping down to my cheeks. I slowly patted my cheek and realized it was full of tears. But why was I in tears? Was it because of that bad dream? “I... I had a very bad dream,” I said slowly due to, I was still gasping for breath. She became more worried and handed me a glass of water right away, “Do not tire yourself too much, Gicca. We are still proud of you even though you will not be the summa c*m laude. Remember, health is wealth, child. You are more important than a title.” she said as she rubbed my back. I drank the water she gave and little by little, I was already able to breathe properly and had calmed myself down. I took a deep breath again and spoke, “This is not about school, mom. School is not even stressful.” I said. “Even if you say that, I know what you are going through and I know you are tired of your requirements and modules. That is the reason why you had a bad dream. Do not make me wrong, a mother never gets wrong.” she said and threw a wink as she wiped the tears on my cheek. Could I say more words? Whenever my mother speaks, I am always speechless even though I still want to utter more, and though I still want to speak of my side.*sigh* Is there anything else to say than okay? Even if I tell her what happened in my dream which was not caused by being stressed, she would not understand it, only if she would experience the same dream. “Okay, mom.” I forcibly said. Seriously? I was somehow offended with this, but I'd rather nod and say okay than to prolong this conversation wherein, me, winning against my mom is impossible. “So, are you feeling alright now?” she asked. “Yes, I am.” I answered though I was not. Widely, she smiled and walked towards my door, “Get yourself ready now. I will drive you to your university.” that was the last thing she said before leaving my room. I bowed down as I unleashed my sigh. She thinks that I'm dying for a title. She thinks I stressed myself too much just for a title. She thinks I'm pursuing too much. whatever. As long as I know to myself that I am enjoying my college life, and not stressing myself. I stood up, took off my clothes and walked directly in front of my giant mirror. I looked at my reflection and examined the part where I felt the pain and bleeding in my dream. Hmmm, there was no scar at all nor anything wrong with it. That was indeed just a dream, but a bad one. I could still remember how painful it was. It feels like dying! Anyway, I was glad that dream only affected me emotionally, not physically. I slowly raised my gaze until it landed on my face, and HOLY SHOOT! My jaw dropped and my eyes widened. What kind of face is this?! My eyes were swollen as if I had been crying for a week. Oh momma, how could I present this face to my classmates? To everyone? They might be scared of this frog-like creature. Have I been crying the whole night on my sleep? I gave a deep sigh, again, and weakened myself, that dream affected me physically as well! D*mn it. That was indeed a bad one. I took my step backwards and sat on my bed. How could I go out with this face? --- “Oh my gosh! You never even said that your boyfriend broke up with you.” my friend Ali laughed at me as I entered the classroom. “Shut up Ali, I will tell you later what happened why I looked like this.” I said in serious tone then rolled my eyes at her. “Oh, you never said you had a boyfriend.” Rique said so loudly that it caught the attention of my classmates. This was exactly what I was avoiding, getting everyone's attention. I know Rique did it on purpose! He is an attention seeker! “Shut up you, Rique! I am single since birth, and I am certain you know it.” I said in a strong tone. Ali and Rique were obviously holding back their laughter, was it that funny? I just dl not know how I lingered with these crazy friends. *rolled my eyes* They were in their fine mood to annoy me, aye? Ha, just wait 'till I do my revenge. “Maybe her crush was the one she cried for,” Ali insinuated as she talked to Rique. “Her crush? Oh, her crush. Who is her crush again, Ali?” Rique asked Ali, acting as if I wasn't there. This was their way to tease me and make me irritated. They always use my crush as a weapon to attack me. Uh-huh, that won't work. “I don't know, maybe it starts with letter L,” Ali spoke and gave a giggle. My eyes widened as she they started to spell my crush's name. “Is that so? Uhm, I think the letter A is next to L,” Rique said, riding what was Ali had said. No way, thay can't do that! They were talking in front of our classmates! They talked as if they were the only person in this classroom. And I would not let them complete the name of my crush in front of everyone! THAT IS A TOP SECRET! I was about to speak and fight the two of them, when suddenly someone slammed the classroom's door, and spoke, “Hey, are you two fighting again?” he asked Ali and Rique in a very cold and frightening tone. He didn't want to intimidate, that is just how he naturally speaks and we're used to it. By the way, his name is Lance. “Of course not, we are on the same side now,” Rique said in a joking tone. “Hmm, that is innovative.” Lance said in a cool voice, and then he sat down next to me. We are seatmates anyway. Alison and Rique are always fighting, like almost every day, until Lance and I got used to it. They have the same vibes, but they do not understand each other and that what causes their rumpus. I also do not understand them. Maybe something is developing between them and I don't know what that is. They only understand each other rarely, like this, in this stupid thing of annoying me. But this only really happens once in a blue moon because they fight more often. The four of us have been friends since high school until now that we are in college. That's why I know them very well. “And do you know what we are talking about?” This is Rique's annoying language while giving his glimpse at me. “What is it?” Lance asked in curiosity. “Try to speak and you will not reach the future.” I threatened Rique. Would he really say it in front of me and in front of our classmates? Lance threw his gaze at my face and was obviously surprised, as what I have expected. “What happened to you?” Lance worriedly asked. Both Rique and Ali fell silent and giggled. Ugh. “I'll say it later, okay?" I rolled my eyes as I threw my sight at these two crazy people, "And can you two PLEASE stop?” I frowned at them. Lance nodded and said, “So, you are the target of these two? Then, we should congratulate them for teaming up for the first time.” he then unleashed his cute smile. I don't know how Rique and Ali found out about how I feel for Lance. I told no one about it but myself. Maybe because they are naturally smart? And they had figured it out through that? Apart from their intelligence, I think uhmm, there was no other reason than that. Lance is smarter but I don't think he knows about my feelings, I don't think he knows how much I like him, maybe he is numb? Well... that is better! I do not want to let him know about how I feel for him. I know it will just mess things up. --