Becoming The Billionaire's Desire

Show me there's something stronger than this pain...

Amy’s POV

“From dust, we came to dust we shall return, Dear God, we ask that you accept the soul of this little one Selena Rosemary Carter. We also, pray Dear Lord, that you grant her family the fortitude to bear this loss,” the priest sprinkled the holy water on the headstone that has just been crafted.

I couldn’t believe that she is truly gone, fighting the urge not to touch my stomach, I reached instead for Sebastian’s hand he was standing to my right wearing a solemn expression.

When he felt my hands slip into his, he turned and gazed at me in surprise, he wasn’t expecting it. These few weeks have been hell for me – for us; he raised my hand to his mouth and placed a warm kiss inside my palm before whispering I love you.

I tried not to think too much of what he whispered to me, I turned and noticed that people were dropping flowers.

I turned towards my husband who was talking to Austin “Make love to me,” I said a little too loud because Austin heard it too and excused himself.

Sebastian searched my face with knitted eyebrows as he led me to the car “We can’t do that now, darling. You need to heal,”.

I shook my head in protest and entered the car “I am fine, Sebastian, it’s been a month now. I am fine,” I insisted.

He tapped twice at the divider, an indication for the driver to start driving “We need to check with the doctors and make sure it’s fine. Please I don’t want any other complications my darling,”.

"This isn't about complications," I insisted resting my head on the car rest "I just want to feel wanted, Seb and see if s*x puts me in a better mood. I just want to forget about everything and I know s*x does that,".

He didn't say anything for a while and I thought he was not going to eventually but instead, he reached for my hand and placed them warmly on his lips.

"Amy," he started "I love you so much...aside from family, you're the next best thing that has ever happened to me and believes it or not, every day I thank God for bringing you into my life and I wish I could turn back time and rewrite everything that's happened, you know,".

"Yeah," I nodded my head "But I need you to show me there's something stronger than this pain, Seb," I wringed my fingers "My baby is lying six feet under ground and here I am living and breathing but sex...Sex takes away the pain, doesn't it,".

"We don't have s*x, Amy," he said quietly "We make love to each other and you should not run away from the pain,".

I snatched my hands from his grasp as I inched away from him. Every one has been telling me that I need to embrace the pain and learn to live with it. How can I learn to live with my memories of my dead daughter? They didn't help me carry her. They didn't feel the gentle stirrings every now and again. Did they know I always dream about her?

"Forget what I said," I sighed looking out of th window "I knew you won't understand,".

"Understand?" he bellowed coming close to me "I understand perfectly babe. I know how broken you feel, and I can imagine what you're going through because noone else helped you in carrying the baby except you so...".

"That's okay, Sebastian," I stopped him mid-sentence "My ears are beginning to hurt from your constant whinning. I said, let's drop the matter,".

"C'mon, babe," he insisted.

"We won't talk again about it, okay..." I warned him with a smile.

We didn't talk to each other until we got home. As soon as we entered the house, Nana came out to greet us wiping her hand on her apron, she was wearing a big smile.

"Welcome home, darlings," she greeted.

"Yeah," I nodded absent-mindedly and walked past her.

"Amy," Sebastian's voice stopped me again "Let's eat first. Nana, did you cook something?" he asked.

"Y-yeah," Nana hesitated "But you all can eat later if you're not feeling up to it," she added.

"We'll eat now," Sebastian said quietly and then came towards me, reached for my hand and starts to pull me towards the kitchen.

"I don't want to eat now, Sebastian. I am not hungry," I try to remove his strong grip on my hand.

"But why not, babe," he grinned "C'mon, let's eat and talk about the future. Our daughter was buried today, Amy...it's only right we spend the rest of the day together comforting each other,".

"I don't want to!" a tear slipped down my cheeks "I can't Sebastian, not with you,".

"Why not?" he arched his brow "I am her father...I am Selena's dad...why wouldn't you want to mourn her with me?".

I looked towards Nana with pleading eyes hoping she would intervene.

"That's enough, Christian," she came towards us and placed a hand on Sebastian's back "I'm sure she had no appetite now, she'll eat later, okay. Please let go,".

"No!" he shook off Nana's hand "I won't. I and Amy will seat across each other today and share the same meal. If you want to cry...let's cry together...let's do everything together...we're are married, Amy. Please," his voice softened "I can't do this alone...I can't get over this pain unless we're in it together,".

For a moment, my heart jolted with hope that he felt exactly how I feel but I know who Sebastian was...he didn't mean it.

"I don't want to, Sebastian. You can mourn her your own way. Please, let me go, now...".

“Wow!” he shot back “Maybe if you didn’t get pregnant you would have save us all of this stress and emotional trauma,”.

Thwack!

It was Nana’s hand on his cheeks. She was livid with anger “Have you lost your mind, Christian?” she queried “I didn’t raise you like this. I didn’t raise you to be insensitive an a literal pain in the ass. For chrissakes, how can you even say that to your wife? How can you even make such assumptions?”.

He held on to his smarting cheek as his eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry, Amy. I didn’t think before I spoke,".

“Don’t worry, Sebastian,” I waved him still wearing the sad smile “I accept responsibility for giving you my body even though it wasn’t what we agreed…”

His eyes darted towards Nana hoping she doesn’t read too much meaning into what I just said but Nana was still angry and was gripping the edge of the kitchen door muttering words and making the sign of the cross severally. I couldn't care less so I continued anyways...

“I shouldn’t have been carried away by the sweet words and all the other things we did. The fake promises, the lies and every other thing. I would have protected myself from you because at the end of the day, the woman suffers the most, she is the biggest loser her and all thanks to you, I am already a mother to a dead child,” I raised my head towards the ceilings trying to hold back tears

“But I promise you, Sebastian, this would be the last. When all this is over, I would leave and go with my sanity and dignity but I promise you, that for everything you’ve made me pass through, for all these tears; it won’t break me or make me less of who I am, I’ll be fine eventually,” I sighed sadly “So, yes, I agree, It’s my fault and I take full responsibility,”.

“Oh my child,” Nana walked up to me holding me gently “My sweet little child, don’t say those words. It’s not your fault my dear. I could have been there, you know you were heavily pregnant and shouldn’t be left all alone but off all days to be absent, I choose that day to go to the salon…” Nana was crying “I am sorry,”.

“No, Nana,” I smiled wiping furiously at the tears that rolled down her cheeks “It doesn’t matter anyways. You heard Sebastian, I would have stopped all this if I had taken an after pill or stayed on the pill but as usual, I am clueless about everything but I was a virgin, Nana,” she sniffed “I have never been with a man and he was my first,” I pointed towards him “I didn’t know who to tell either or confide in because you weren’t here then and I had work and so many things on my plate. I never wanted to be pregnant,”.

“Amy, I…” he tried to reach for me.

“Please don’t” I moved back “This,” she paused “Whatever it is that we had before is over,”.

"Y-you can't seriously mean it, Amy," he voice caught in his throat as he made another attempt to hold me "Please darling, we can fight this...let's fight this. I love you,".

"I can't do this right now, Seb," I swiped at the tears on my face "Let me rest and talk to you later, okay,".

Without saying a word, I turned and continued towards the stairs, oddly...I felt better.