Being his halal

Chapter six.

I was going to cry.

I didn't know what to do. At first I wanted to burst out in tears but remembered I'm not home to start secretly crying. I held the chair next to me because if I didn't, I knew I was going to fall and it won't be nice.

I was out of thoughts. One, I don't know what to do. Secondly I was stranded with no car or anything. I know you must be thinking, why I would come out without holding any money, well because I was too lazy to withdraw money this morning and late at the same time, and thinking why can't I just use my card well because I left both it and my bag at the office. Also I thought annur was going to bring me back, I didn't expect this act from him, but well I shouldn't be surprised I don't know him and I'm planning on Getting married to that monster.

I don't know or care if they forced him to take me out or whatever it was he did this for, but it isn't fair. Is it my fault that they want me to marry him? If he doesn't want to marry me, does he have to put me through this humiliation?

Just what did I do to deserve this? All I have ever done since our first meeting, have been to be nice to him and respect him, I had never even spoken any disrespectful words to him and here he is doing the unthinkable.

Well it's not more unthinkable, since he has done it.

Ya Allah I didn't plan my morning this way. Ya Allah save me from evil eye. I needed to find my way out, real fast.

"Ma'am this is the bill" the waiter came dropping the bill next to the table.

"Oh The bill.. I" I couldn't utter a word as I was stunned. There laid the bill holding so much amount on it that if I decided to even wash the dishes I wouldn't be done in a year. Ya Allah what will I do? Ya Allah enlighten me.

I took my phone scrolling down to who I can call to pick me up and... Pay the bill also. I saw dad's number but then I remembered he is sick and even if he weren't, I wouldn't call him. And there was salma too, but I didn't want to bring my personal life to her, though I could lie to her but why? When I could just avoid it. And then I immediately saw haleema's number, she is the best person to call.

"Salam haleema, where are you". I asked in a rush.

"Salam to you too. I'm at a coffee shop". Haleema replied. " what's up?" She asks

"Okay. Can you pick me up please". I said with my voice shaken.

"whats wrong, where are you?". She asks immediately.

"In a place called spontaneous, I don't really know the direction but I think its aroun....".

"Don't bother I know the place, I'll be there in 10min". Haleema spoke. This girl is my life saver, what would I have done without her.

How can annur do this? why is he like this? what did I do to deserve this act. I keep on asking myself, if he knew he didn't want to marry me then why did he agree to it, why does he feel the need to embarrass me. Inalillahi I'm so fed up, I don't know what to do.

I'm going to tell Abba to cancel my marriage, I won't get married to that heartless beast (Ya Allah forgive me for calling him names for it is not accepted).

I wiped the little tear that managed to escape from my eye. I looked around and saw haleema approaching me.

"Hey, what's wrong". Haleema rushed towards me as she came.

"I'll tell you everything but can you please pay the bill" I said with my voice shaken. She looks taken aback for a moment.

"Yeah sure". She agrees while she she brings out her card and we went to pay

We entered the car and then haleema started driving before she started asked questions.

"So you wanna tell me what happened" she asked impatiently.

"Haleema will it be a bad thing if I say I don't want to get married anymore". I say with tears rolling down my eyes.

"hey,hatina what's wrong, don't cry please What... What are you saying. Yes it will be bad. It will be bad for your Abba and your family too, incase you have forgotten you guys are engaged".she spoke as she stops the car turning towards me.

"But haleema he's heartless, he didn't respect the fact that I was present, what kind of man does that".

"First of all tell me what happened so we can reason this out". She says wiping my tears " and please don't cry" I nod and told haleema everything that happened.

"Subhanalah,". Haleema said.

"Now you see why I don't want to get married again". I said sniffing

"Hatina, you see that's the thing you don't understand, you don't expect him to be open at first sight or to be in love at first sight, I know what he did was wrong and really disrespectful on all basis but all those love at first sight, those are only in movies and stories that they want you to dream about something that's not true. Hatina I know you feel down and I know I can't express your feeling but you have to take it easy. Baby steps hatina, baby steps" she spoke patiently.

"But it not that easy". I tell her. " he didn't regard me at all, how will I survive in a marriage like that" I spoke painfully. What annur really did hurt me.

"I know but think about your abba, he will break down once he hears this, even if you don't want this marriage do it for him. Your Abba knows why he chose this family for you. And I'm not saying this just so you could please him but remember he chose this for you, so I'm sure he knows the reason. Hatina have you ever seen something beautiful that comes easy, no it doesn't. That's why you need to stay strong" haleema is like a pain killer she definitely know what to say and what to do

"You're right, thank you haleema, that really helped". I say embracing her.

I know what to do. Maybe he is thinking I will chicken out and embarrass my family, saying I won't get married to him anymore, while he plays the good cop. But I am better than that, like haleeema said, nothing beautiful comes easy, I don't know why all these is happening, but the almighty has a reason and he will get me through this.

We arrived at my office and I said goodbye to haleema, I picked up my car and went home. Through out the ride all I thought of was what happened but like haleema said I'm doing this and I need to stay strong after all, we are engaged. If annur thinks because of how authoritative he can be and with that he's going to make me weak and break me just to have his fun then I'll let him know I'm stronger than that. I'll get married to him and show him that I'm better than all those girls he takes around.

I reached home remembering that Abba is ill so I decided to check on how he was feeling now. I quickly went to his room to check on him.

"Asalamualikum". I knock on the door

"Waaliakum salam, come in dear". Dad replied.

"I just wanted to check how you were doing". I say getting closer to him.

"That's so sweet of you, I'm fine by the way". He says patting the side next to him gesturing for me to sit

"Alhamdulilalh". I thanked God.

"Hatina do you have a minute". Abba asked

"Of course". I replied truthfully.

"Hatina, I know it must be hard for you, believe me I know but you know what they say patience is a virtue and that's what I want you to keep in mind and don't ever forget that". Abba advised me. I don't think I'll ever understand why Abba wants me to marry annur, but I do know he has a good reason.

"Yes Abba thank you so much, I really appreciate it. Not all fathers can sit their daughters this way and talk to them but you did. Alahamdulillah your my father, your the best Abba"